not telling family name

jobiann

So does anyone else feel like keeping your baby name(s) a secret from everyone? 

DH and I are just starting to TTC and I've mentioned just a few names we like and everyone always has something negative to say about it or offers other names that I do not like. 

 So either we like really bad names or they just have their own opinions.  For example, what is so weird about the name Thomas Michael?  (Thomas for DH great uncle who just passed away and Michael for DH's father.)  Anyone else feel the same way?

veganxangel

Post from yesterday: https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/44402343.aspx

FWIW I think Thomas Michael is a strong classic name, the flow is a little off with it being back to back 2 syllable names, but classic nonetheless. 

jobiann

veganxangel:

Post from yesterday: https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/44402343.aspx

FWIW I think Thomas Michael is a strong classic name, the flow is a little off with it being back to back 2 syllable names, but classic nonetheless. 

 Oh, thanks for referencing the earlier post!  I'll check it out! 

vans or violets

I have no problem telling people the names we are thinking about.  I've had some very negative reactions and some very positive reactions.  Really you can't let other people influence your decision too much.  For instance, I love the name Violet or Violetta for a girl.  It's my top pick.  People have literally stuck their tongues out and told me they refuse to call my baby Violet if that's what we name her.  Yes it makes me a little angry but it hasn't deterred me from wanting to use that name.  It's not their kid I'm naming. 

Some women are superstitious about telling people the name they have chosen before the baby is actually born.  I'm not one of those people.  Nothing is going to happen to your baby because you make their name public before giving birth. 

mylesmomma

We learned after our first DS that it was much easier to keep it a secret.  Everyone thinks they can come up with a better name, but honestly the only opinions that mattered to us were mine and DH.  We now dont announce the name until after we have the baby and we stay sane

Blue1299

I didn't tell anyone LO's name until my baby shower (I was 36 weeks) b/c I didn't want to hear anyone's opinions. It's your child and as long as you & DH agree that's all that matters.

PunkyBooster

We haven't told anyone our names and won't until the baby is born.

KoalaBear103

We told people LO's name before he was born and we decided next time we aren't telling.  We didnt get any negative comments, and we wouldnt care what peoples opinions are anyway, but it was so much fun only having us know!!

BlindysWife

We haven't told a single IRL friend or family member our choices. I don't want anyone's feedback (whether its negative or positive) to influence the name we choose. In addition to that, I like the element of surprise when the baby is born and the name is announced to everyone for the first time.

BetchySprout

Last time I slipped and told my mom. It was so annoying for like, 8 weeks. You know what name you should use instead? Know what name I like? BLAH BLAH BLAH. We ended up changing it and didn't tell anyone until the birth. It was much better that way. 

FemmeNat01

We don't tell anyone the names.

EastCoastBride

We told people because we knew we were going w/ a name they wouldn't expect and we wanted to prepare them. We dind't care if people didn't like it.

My advice, though, is to say "we haven't decided".  Once you say "we aren't telling", people will harass you to know. 

hille12

EastCoastBride:

We told people because we knew we were going w/ a name they wouldn't expect and we wanted to prepare them. We dind't care if people didn't like it.

My advice, though, is to say "we haven't decided".  Once you say "we aren't telling", people will harass you to know. 

ITA - GREAT suggestion!

HappyMrsK

Unfortunately, when you open the door to such discussions you are inviting others to share their opinions and suggestions. I plan on waiting at least until my husband and I have definitely settled on a name or until our child is born to announce the name.

No matter what the name is you choose there will be someone who won't like the name you have chosen or they will think they have a better suggestion for a name.

macchiatto

We decided not to tell our names in advance. But then, we didn't decide for sure on the names until we were driving to the hospital for my induction, so that was pretty easy. (We didn't tell people what was on our list though either. I think I ran a few by my sister but that was it.)

Allie30

I'm totally on the "don't tell anyone" side of the argument. All you hear are complaints and suggestions and "my sister's ex-roommate's boyfriend's cousin was named that and he..." stories. Blech.

However, "We haven't decided" and "we have a short list" doesn't work either, because then they just hound you for what you're "considering." Seriously. My in-laws were CONSTANT with this. My FIL would constantly say things like "oh, what was that name you were thinking of again?" as if I'd slip up and forgot I hadn't told him. And then, my MIL threw me a shower and EVERY game she played was a baby-naming game. (One game asked the guests to write down every girl name they could think of, and when the winner was reading her list, it was clear she'd just started naming people from TV. So she'd say "Kim, Kourtney..." and I'd go "but not Khloe?" and then my MIL would be like "Why did you mention Chloe? Is Chloe on your list?"

I know they were mostly teasing but it was crazy. Especially since my SIL named her baby pretty much at conception and started calling him that right away and had his name on everything -- nursery wall, etc. I wanted to SEE my baby before I named her.

Of course, she's three weeks old and I'm still not sure I chose the right name.