F/U to proposed weeknight visit switch — The Bump
Blended Families

F/U to proposed weeknight visit switch

Back story if you missed the post: DH has ss every other weekend and mon and wed evenings. By the time DH gets off work and gets there these week night visits are no more than 2.5 hours. DH is wanted to switch out one of the nights in exchange for some other time. Something that would allow them more quality time, and would work easier for everyone.

 Of course BM said absolutely not to the overnight during the week. She still says it's too early. So DH brought up his second choice of an extra week in the summer. She says weeknights and summers are not a fair exchange. And I do see her point, but that 2.5 hours a week comes out to 5.5 days over the course of a year. The c/o time is 4 hours which is over 8.5 days over the year. So TIME wise it's pretty equal.

DH is going to bring it up again in a week or so. BM automatically says no to everything from the get go. But I know if she mentions it to her dad he will encourage he to work out some sort of agreement. Her DH may as well.

If not, then we will have to decide if it's worth going to court over. IMO, yes. Because there are other small things that we would like changed as well (split driving) But ultimately that will be up to DH.


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Re: F/U to proposed weeknight visit switch

  • If anything, have his attorney draft up the change and present it to her attorney. You never know, her attorney may tell her it is a good change.Plus be sure to ask for each of them to provide transportation one way. Then all the traveling is not on DH.

    But I have to say, there are many NCP who get that little time during the week with their children. Most parents do not get off work until 5pm, then travel time home, and the kiddos are picked up/dropped off at 8pm.

  • Honestly I think you are looking at the hours wrong although I know it does not matter if BM is unwilling to trade anyway.  You are looking to trade awake hours for 24 hour periods.  IMHO you should only allow for 12/14 hours a day and not 24 since she is talking what is fair.  If you are really willing go to court then I would make it clear to BM that you are going after the same amount of waking hou1rs as you are entitled to today, assuming he is awake 14 hours a day then that is just over 14.85 days and if it were me I would be asking for 2 weeks (if he sleeps more than 10 hours a day you can adjust it for more days.)
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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