Is it time for me to give up BF? (sorry I rambled)

JenPVH

My little one will be two weeks tomorrow and I have struggled breast feeding since first day.  I have tried everything that I know at this point and cried so many tears because of my strong desires to breastfeed.  I will try to explain all I can but my MIL who is a L&D nurse thinks I should give up now for my son, DH and mine sake.

I have a semi inverted nipple as well as a flat nipple meaning that when I squeeze my breasts, my nipples pulls inside the mounts making it really difficult for DS to latch.  I use a nipple guard and for the most part it works once I can get my son to latch.

My son has a curled upper lip and so far not has master to pucker the upper lip on his own  and also seems to have a wide mouth where both sides are also not sealed on the breast unless I squeeze his cheeks while he is sucking.  My girls are not large either. 

The biggest issue is that while my son had jaundice and that has went away, he does not wake up.  I struggle to feed him every 2-3 hours because he simply does not wake up well.  Often it takes 30 min to an hour to wake him up.  Even when he does, he easily falls back asleep, especially on my breast. So the problem is that he is not taking in much milk.  We strip him so he is naked, change his diapers, burp him every 5 min or more often if he does not keep sucking to keep him awake.  We wipe a wet cloth on his forehead or back, tickle his feet, sing ,,, anything to keep him awake.  More often than not, he is pretty much comatose!

I finally managed to breast feed him only on day 10 through 12th and each feeding would be 15 minutes each breasts.  I was discouraged to find out that cause him to lose more weight(this is after the initial weight loss that is normal for newborns and he gained 6 ounces before I  started breast feeding only).   We had to supplement him at the end of the first week so he can have enough energy to be abe to suck on my breast.  Even then it took him an hour and half to drink one 2 ounces bottle of supplement which is still crazy.

I seen so many LC nurses, I go go in the LC "Newborn club" to weigh, breastfeed, weigh again 6 times so far and I have another appointment tomorrow.  I tried so many tips and tricks but baby is not taking in much milk from my breasts. 

I am back to pumping so I can supplement extra BM after breast feeding.  I feel like I am torturing my LO by doing everything I can to wake him up.  Even my DH wakes up every 2-3 hours with me to help wake up the baby since I need to hold him, position my breast, make sure the nipple guard stays on (often it gets knocked off by the baby, gets too slippery,  constant need to switch nipples) and all the while trying to stroke, blow air on the baby to keep him awake.

It seems so unfair to keep doing this to my son, especially when he is not showing much improvement and i noticed my BM supply tanked when I was only breastfeeding and not pumping.  My husband is tired and he has to work a full day and I only get about 4 hours of sleep per 24 hours.  I am not one to give up and I have raw and grated nipples to show for it.  All the nurses comments on how determined and they keep commending me  on how I never give up and so open to try everything and put so much effort into this.

My son is only 2 weeks but he has never once cried to let me know he was hungry.  Now I am thinking bottle feeding is the way to go since it is a way I can ensure he is fully fed when he is tired and he does get more energy after bottle feeding rather than after breast feeding.  Right now I am feeding him half formula and half BM.  I am not getting enough BM pumped to accommodate a full feeding yet and I am hoping my supply will go up again soon because I really want him to have BM.  Right now I am only able to get 1 ounce the most every 2-3 hours. I am actually starting to feel hopeless that I will be able to produce enough BM for him. I am sad, really sad but I don't know what else to do.

Anyone been in the same boat?

rexandbrooke

I also had a super difficult time with breastfeeding.  I never actually got dd to nurse at the hospital.  If she latched on correctly she wouldn't eat and then she would try to eat when she wasn't latched on right.  In the first two weeks we ended up seeing a LC about 5 times for weighed feedings and such.  They determined that I had low supply issues and  I was so frustrated with bfing.  Both DD and I would cry with each feeding and she wasn't gaining weight back like she was supposed to. we finally were able to nurse using a nipple shield and a SNS (supplemental nutrition system). The SNS truly saved us.  It's basically an upside bottle that clips to your shirt and has a small tube  that runs into the baby's mouth while breastfeeding to supplement formula.  The beauty in that is that your breast are still being stimulated to produce milk because you don't need to supplement with a bottle.  It took a week or so after starting the sns to get everything back on track but it was worth it.  DD and i were so much happier with breastfeeding after that, now dd absolutley loves the boob lol.  i would ask your lc if an sns would help you.  Per my lc, I also take fenugreek and milk thistle to boost my supply.  But its completely up to your.  You get to choose whats best for you and your baby, nobody else can decide that for you!!! Let me know if you have anymore questions!

Mystery2B

You're doing great!

We had to work like that wake C for about 3-4 weeks, after that she got better about continueing to suck/staying awake a little better.  Our routine was pick her up, unswaddle and take her temp (because it pissed her off), feed her, undress her, feed her, change her diaper, feed her, redress her, feed her, reswaddle her, feed her...and during those feedings we scratched her head, flicked the bottom of her feet, rubbed her back firmly, blew on her, etc to keep her awake in between those bigger things. 

The saying is don't quit on your worst day - so commit to tomorrow, or 1 more week, and then re-evaluate. He'll get better at it in the next couple weeks, for me about a month was the turning point, and after 6 weeks or so it was almost good. 

orangecurls

Yes, I was in a similar boat.  I basically had to exclusively pump and bottle feed.  My ultimate goal was to get LO back on the breast once he got bigger, better at sucking and pulling out my inverted nipples.  So I pumped 10-12 times a day, fed him with a bottle most of the time and used a nursing supplementer 3-4 times a day to keep him interested in breastfeeding.  Also, before you try to breastfeed or use the nursing supplementer, pump for a few minutes to draw out your nipples.

My son also had jaundice and for the first couple weeks I had to wake him up to eat, but once he got a bigger, little past his birth weight, he would let me know he was hungry.  We are now exclusively breastfeeding.  It took a lot of work, but now everything is going well.  Those first few weeks were very challenging.

I would work on getting your supply up, pump 8-10 times a day for 15-20 minutes at least, take herbal supplements, eat oatmeal, etc.  Bottle feed and try using a nursing supplementer.  Ameda.com has some good info about bringing up your milk supply https://ameda.com/breastpumping/moms/how.aspx 

emberlee3

I just want to say that what you have done so far is awesome!!  You are doing a great job.  I think the advice from the other replies is a lot better than what I would say, so I just want to encourage you to do what you think is best for you and your baby.  

Your post made me recall how for the first few weeks, I had to rub the nape of my baby's neck to stimulate him to suck.  I thought I would wear a groove in his neck, I rubbed it so much.  Eventually, he figured out that milk is good and he didn't need any encouragement!

Good luck with whatever you decide, mama!