Are you envious of people that don't work?

on_the_move

I'm a SAHM and I resent that you don't think we work.  I didn't work nearly this hard when I had a full time job.  I am thrilled that we are financially able to be fine with just DH salary, but that doesn't mean that we haven't had to make some sacrifices.  Ya I take DS out to the farmer's market and resturants (if I ever get it) but I also need to take him to the grocery store, my doctor's appointments and EVERYWHERE I go!

 We all make our choices in life and you need to be happy with your own.

DonnaMartinGraduates

I hate my job. I guess it's more that I hate the company I work for ever since they are under new management...anyway, I get where you're coming from. I have friends who send their little ones off to daycare all while they all go out to  lunch and go shopping- every day. Do I want their life? No, because they are all in miserable marriages and only care about how they look to other people.

I can tell you that if I were lucky enough to not HAVE to work that I could fill my days doing the things I love- volunteering at an animal shelter, spending time with my kid(s) and running my side business.

IU_baby

Seriously?

I work part-time, but the days I am home with my son are way busier than the days when I am working.

albl508

Oh boy.....wait until your kid pops out.  Better yet, if your kid is anything like mine who is high maintenance and clings to you for dear life 24 hours a day.  I work but I am not envious of anyone who has to deal with it all day long.

etude de la vie

brooketini:

azzyberry:

I'm a SAHM and I can assure you my day is not spent at the spa or coffee shop.  Before I was a SAHM I had a very demanding/stressful job but this is by far the most exhausting job that I have ever had.  Try being pregnant, nauseas and vomiting while chasing a two year old all day.

Ditto. And if I do take DD to the farmer's market or coffee shop, trust me that it's not relaxing. I can't figure out if you're a martyr, jealous, on a high horse...

I agree. It is not a walk in the park (literally) to be a SAHM. When I was teaching it was blissful. I was having adult conversations, I was reading/writing about cutting-edge topics in my field. I had time to sit at a coffee shop and drink coffee/chat, and I could read something. 

We choose for me to become a SAHM while our children are little because childcare costs are out of control and I really want to be the most important influencing person in my child's upbringing. There are days when I love it but it is definitely not easier than when I was just working!  

You really will have a wake-up call once this baby pops out. Being a SAHM is one of the loneliest, hardest, stressful things I have ever gone through.

I haven't eaten my food hot or taken time to enjoy my food since she was born. If I go run errands they are quick, stressful, and scheduled around naps, eating, and diaper changes. I haven't had my hair cut/colored/ or even walked into a salon since having her and on top of everything try having morning sickness and severe exhaustion from pregnancy as you chase a crawling (learning to walk) baby around who gets into everything.

Oh and my day starts at 5:45AM when she wakes up... not to mention the 1-3 times I wake up in the middle of the night to feed her or go to the bathroom! 

It is all worth it when they crawl (walk) over to you give you a big hug and kiss and burry their head into your shoulder. It is very rewarding but your friends on facebook either don't have children or they are full of sh*t. 

KMAXON

SarahSueBob:

Also, SAHMs who claim that their job is harder because they have to do "everything" to make the house run do make me nuts because I have to do that all to - AFTER i work 10 hours.  I still do my dishes, laundry, clean, pay bills, make appointments, etc.

 

Thank you.    This is all I'm saying.   And at least SAHMs are home all day, so they have access to a couch or a bathroom.   Not to mention, being able to spend time with your family on nights and weekends because you aren't just taking care of the grocery shopping, errands, etc.  It's ridiculous to be responsible for  paying all the bills and maintaining the entire house.   At least SAHM's only have one job.

TheCricket

I am the opposite - I am envious of everyone who has a full time job with benefits, and will get maternity leave. I was laid off earlier this year, from a Fortune 100 firm, have an stellar resume, great work experience and references, and my Masters degree. So, until I get another full-time position, I am contracting and working 3 part-time jobs, paying for my own insurance, and we are now expecting twins! I think the annoyance of having to go into work every day for some is far outweighed by the fear of making mortgage payments with much less $ coming in now, and especially after delivering (or before if put on bed rest), and not being able to fully seek new employment as easily as before since now I have to add childcare for 2 into the picture.

OP, I am not snarking on you at all, and I understand the nature of your post, but really consider yourself lucky to have A job in this economy which is still not out of the woods.

HydrangeaSunset

SAHMs do not have one job. We wear many hats. I am a sahm and am up at 730 everyday to get my kid ready for school. Then I need to try and gather my pregnant self to get ready for my classes. That is enough to keep me exhausted all day but doesn't count the cleaning, cooking and errands I must do when I can and when I feel well enough to do it. It's not a day at the spa, lady.

SpartanGirl

KMAXON:

SarahSueBob:

Also, SAHMs who claim that their job is harder because they have to do "everything" to make the house run do make me nuts because I have to do that all to - AFTER i work 10 hours.  I still do my dishes, laundry, clean, pay bills, make appointments, etc.

 

Thank you.    This is all I'm saying.   And at least SAHMs are home all day, so they have access to a couch or a bathroom.   Not to mention, being able to spend time with your family on nights and weekends because you aren't just taking care of the grocery shopping, errands, etc.  It's ridiculous to be responsible for  paying all the bills and maintaining the entire house.   At least SAHM's only have one job.

I really think you're generalizing. I am rarely home all day.  I spend time on nights and weekends taking care of errands, shopping and all that too. Yes, I stay at home, but that doesn't make my time in the evening or on the weekends free of any type of chores or responsibility.  Believe it or not, but the majority of my day is spent actually caring for my kids - driving them from activities, playing with them, teaching them, etc.  I can't just shove them in a corner while I pay bills and clean.

This is why I don't think I'll ever understand the WOH vs SAH mom debate.  Both are hard.  Both have advantages and disadvantages.  Why play the "my life is harder?" game.

pinkflipflops44

SarahSueBob:

 

Thank you.    This is all I'm saying.   And at least SAHMs are home all day, so they have access to a couch or a bathroom.   Not to mention, being able to spend time with your family on nights and weekends because you aren't just taking care of the grocery shopping, errands, etc.  It's ridiculous to be responsible for  paying all the bills and maintaining the entire house.   At least SAHM's only have one job.

Wow another judgy peach. That is so laughable.

brooke82308

I see where you are coming from. I always grew up thinking when I was going to have a baby, i thought I was going to be able to stay home and not have to work until the kids got into school. I still wish that could happen. I know with DH and my jobs, that isn't going to happen.

I am really not happy with my job but I deal with it because it is paying the bills for now. I hope that once I have the baby and things settle down, I can get back into teaching.

 I do agree! People who get to stay home and can go to spas all the time! I am luck to get my eyesbros wax and manipedi a few times a year!

KRISTA555

I was a SAHW for a full year before DD was born.  In our case, we made the decision for me to stay at home because (we thought) DH was getting ready to be deployed for 18 months. Being active duty Army, his schedule was somewhat erratic, and we didn't want my work schedule interfering with any time off he had. We wanted to spend every second together that we could.

Then I got pregnant. We knew that I would be a SAHM after the baby was born, so I continued to stay at home, even after we found out that DH was not going to be deloyed after all.

 

I loved being a SAHW and now a SAHM. When I was a SAHW, I kept the house very clean, got up with DH at 4 am to make his breakfast and pack his lunch, and other than that, I just enjoyed being pregnant.  Now that I'm a SAHW of a newborn, it's more about the baby and less about the housekeeping/cooking. That will change when she gets more independent though.

Judge if you want, I really don't care. We could afford it, we both wanted me to stay at home, and I did.  It was/is great.

To each their own.

izzybella

armandos_girl:

flamingos10:

Oftentimes, I long for the days of sitting in traffic, alone in my car with no children screaming in my ears in the backseat... going to my job where I sit on my butt in my cube hanging out on the bump all day..listening to music..  ahhh.. those where the days!  Oh, and not to mention, coming home at the end of the day and being able to head straight for bed!! 

Wow.  I try to stay out of the working mom/SAHM debate... but this is way more offensive to working moms than the OP was to SAHM (especially because I don't think the OP wasn't referring to ALL SAHMs, just her friends, who by my assessment must have nannies watching their kids if they can sleep until 10 and hang by the pool).

I've been a mom for a few days short of 16 months now.  I have yet to have a day where I sat on my butt at my desk or got to head straight for bed when I got home from work.  Nope, I get home, make dinner, play with my son, give him a bath, get him into bed THEN I have to do all those "other" things (laundry, dishes, cleaning) that I couldn't do during the day because I was working!

Ya, staying at home with your kid can be exhausting, but don't act like I get a "break" because I go to work.

I think she was referring to the OP, who is pregnant and working but doesn't have a child at home. 

Newts Mommy

kestock120:

I think I would go crazy with nothing to do all day. It's one thing to be a SAHM because then you are caring for your child all day. I never understood the SAHW thing, though.

I am a SAHW, DH prefers me to be home, yes there are times that I miss adult interaction, but I'm glad that I have a DH that prefers me to stay home and I'm blessed that we are able to afford it.  I do everything around the house, attend school, and I take care of my SD 3 days out of the week.  It's nice to have the time at home, less stress and scheduling coordination and I see my DH all the time.  Just because I'm not caring for a child 24/7 (yet) doesn't mean that I am not busy day in and day out.

Missyshayne

Dislike this post, more or less all the claws that came with it, geez ladies mellow out, everyone, even pregnant women without LO are entitled to an opinion