*BOTB2010*

cc605

I know your H is deployed right now but will he be back for the birth? My H is in AF reserves and is re-training but will be away in tech school when I'm due. Granted he can get a few days of emergency leave for the birth but it will take him like 13 hrs to get here and I could easily give birth before he gets here.

I was just wondering if you were faced with the prospect of not having your H there as well or having to care for a newborn with out him and if you have read any resources or anything.  I guess I'm having a mini stress moment when you've already be dealing with it for awhile :0)

babyonthebrain2010

nope, unfortunately H won't be home for at least a few months after LO is due.  not super stoked about that.  we've known about this deployment for a while.. which is part of the reason we stopped TTC.. but it happened anyway.   there is no way he will get leave to come home even for a few days so it'll just be me and baby for a good while

I'm sorry to hear your H might not make it for the birth!  do you know who you'd like in the room with you if he can't make it on time?  I guess you could just notify him the second you go into labor, but with all of the false alarms and stuff, would they let him go if it wasn't a "for sure" thing?   do you have family who lives close by?

I keep expecting to stumble across a "how to have a baby when you're husband is in Iraq for dummies" book... but so far no luck lol.  and it feels very strange to me to research things on childbirth or raising newborns for "single moms"  because obviously I'm not a single mom.  I dunno. it's all very strange.  I'm lucky to have a small support group of fellow Air Force wives who know my situation and a couple of them have been in similar situations before.  I'm also VERY grateful to have lots of good friends and a supportive family to help me if/when I need it.  as of right now I'm planning on having my mom be in the delivery room with me.. we don't have a super "mommy/daughter" type of relationship but I trust her to help out however she can.  obviously the only person I actually want there is DH, but since that's just not an option I try not to dwell on it too much.

as far as caring for a newborn alone! yikes! the more I think about it the more I think the actual birth will be the easy part!  I'm just going to *try* to stay as calm as possible and not be ashamed or embarrassed to ask for help if and when I need it.  being a first time mom I have no idea what to expect, and I feel like no matter how much research I'll never be as prepared as I'd like to be!  I will say it's also nice knowing if I have any random questions I can come here to ask.. maybe not judgment free, but still

anyway if you come across any resources be sure to let me know!! and I'll do the same for you.  other than that I guess we both just have to take it day by day and trust everything will work out for the best!

cc605

Awww I'm so sorry that he won't be able to be home in time!! Luckily my parents live about 3 minutes away from us so I know my mom will help out as much as she can and my BFF is in PhD school but her last final is my due date and she said she will help and will be in the room with me if she can. It's just a little daunting moreso to have a toddler and a newborn with my H gone.

Yeah totally feel free to ask any questions! I'm not a know it all by any means but have been there done that so I'll help any way I can :0)

babyonthebrain2010

oh I can't even IMAGINE having a toddler AND a newborn by yourself.  I hope everything works out, tho, and you get plenty of help!  do you know about how long after your due date your H will be done with tech school?