Good or bad idea?

clp1027

DH doesn't really help much with chores or even fixing broken things around the house. Most of the time when I ask him to do something and he doesn't, he says he forgot or didn't notice something was broken, etc. I was thinking of making a chore list for him, but I don't want him to think I'm treating him like one of the kids. Is a chore list degrading or a good idea?

brightning

My DH would not respond well to a list. Personally, I'd ask him how he wants you to handle it.

SaraSmile

I think you need to have a sit down to discuss ... a chore list just doesn't sound like it would go over well. 

metisca

I'd talk to him like everyone mentioned, but maybe a list would help too if he's like my DH - he loves to have lists and makes them for himself or asks me to make them for him.  Just his personality I guess, it helps him stay organized.

 

Pesky

I'd talk to him like pps suggested and outline the problem and ask him to help brainstorm possible solutions.  Like budgeting for a handyman or making a list as a reminder.  He might come up with a solution you haven't thought of.  As he is a large part of the problem, I would have him own the solution and therefore he will be more invested in its success.

April37

My DH loves when I make him a list of things to do.  He says that since he can't read my mind, the list lets him know eactly what I'm thinking. 

I also keep an ongoing shopping list and if DH needs something, he has to write it on the list (don't just tell me because I might forget).  I always say to him "did you write it on the list? If it's not on the list, I probably didn't get it."  There is so much less confusion with lists. 

kada626

My dh would rather I make a "honey do" list for him then nag him ten million times. So it works for us.

PaigeC1981

I have tried this in the past, and it was a big fat FAIL. I would try it though; some men respond well to lists. If it doesn't work, you need to have a talk with him.

neverblushed

I would not make my H a chore list; it seems too much like a parent-to-child move.  If you place yourself in the role of "parent" with your husband, it gives him permission to be as passive aggressive as a child.

Here's what I'd do instead: next time he says, "Gee, hon, I forgot all about that," I'd say, "hey, I'm not sure if you're aware of it, but you forget about these things a lot.  When you forget, I don't know whether I should remind you at the risk of sounding like a nag, or just ignore it, or what. I don't feel like just ignoring it is a good solution.  Maybe I could write it and post it on the refrigerator or something.  What do you think would work in this situation?"

JulieandBen

I gave my husband a list of things that must be done before baby arrived. I did most of the list and a couple items are still on it. He didn't respond badly to the list. Just as if I hadn't bothered writing it.