Frozen embies

britbswoo

So we are with outta doubt done reproducing, and we have 5 embies on ice.  I specifically remember filling out the paperwork that we were open to donation in the event we didn't need all of them.  DH and I both agree that as far as donation we're more comfortable if they have the best possible chance at life as opposed to research (we're not judging it's just it's what feels right for us)  Does anyone know exactly how this works?  Would the RE have custody of them and give them to a prospective recipient?  Do the recipients go through the homestudy process like an adoption?  Can they find the donor's later if they want/need to? 

I tried calling the RE today but didn't get through to anyone yet and since DH and I had the conversation I've been thinking about it alot.  TIA!

mbjmaybebaby

I just have to say that I didn't realize you only transferred 2 embies and got 4 babies....WOW!!  I hope everything continues to go well for you.

As for your questions regarding the embies, I would double check with your RE but I think everything you need to do is done.  As with egg donors , the process is completely confidential so they would not be able to find you if they wanted to. I am not sure about the home study etc but I would doubt it. I know a gorl who used DE and they didn't have to do anything to get them, just pay the money.

britbswoo

mbjmaybebaby:

I just have to say that I didn't realize you only transferred 2 embies and got 4 babies....WOW!!  I hope everything continues to go well for you.

Thanks for your reply!  We joke that the embryos should come with a disclaimer since we got double what we put back.

mbjmaybebaby

britbswoo:

Thanks for your reply!  We joke that the embryos should come with a disclaimer since we got double what we put back.

LOL, I guess we are both fertile infertiles because my docs said I had a 3% chance that all three would take and only a 20% chance that I would get pregnant at all...HA, I showed them!

How are your babies doing?  Everyone continuing to be healthy and happy?

joliemariée

I have to disagree with the pp. When we did IVF we were strongly urged to donate to research because we were told it is a very messy legal process to donate your embryos and it is "uncharted territory" legally so to speak. I also read an article about a couple who did indeed donate their remaining embyos and they personally picked each family and had somewhat of a relationship with each ( I believe it was 2 sets of twins and a single).

I am at a loss right now with what to do. I would like to try another round of IVF in the future with our remaining 2, but my DH is dead set against it as of now ( of course we are still in the throes of infancy with our twins)

In any case, please post an update if you get different info than what I was told. I would be interested to hear what your RE says. FWIW my RE was a highly regarded teaching hospital in Chicago so I feel they would be correct in what they told us.

 

britbswoo

They are doing great we've got a 14 pounder and his brothers are not far behind.  They are starting to really sleep in longer stretches through the night, anywhere from 6-8 hours, so that makes a HUGE difference.  Ethan had his hernia operation last week and other than that we've just had regular baby appointments!

How are you feeling?  I started getting really excited when I got to the big weeks the drs' stressed about.

britbswoo

joliemari?e:

I have to disagree with the pp. When we did IVF we were strongly urged to donate to research because we were told it is a very messy legal process to donate your embryos and it is "uncharted territory" legally so to speak. I also read an article about a couple who did indeed donate their remaining embyos and they personally picked each family and had somewhat of a relationship with each ( I believe it was 2 sets of twins and a single).

I am at a loss right now with what to do. I would like to try another round of IVF in the future with our remaining 2, but my DH is dead set against it as of now ( of course we are still in the throes of infancy with our twins)

In any case, please post an update if you get different info than what I was told. I would be interested to hear what your RE says. FWIW my RE was a highly regarded teaching hospital in Chicago so I feel they would be correct in what they told us.

I will def. update when I get more info.  I was afraid it would be difficult to do as it is such a touchy area.  We REALLY want another couple to have the chance to have them, but it makes me nervous if just anyone with enough $$ gets that opportunity. I just want to know if they did result in babies they would be safe and taken care of and loved as much as they can. Is that wierd?

dtwmco

britbswoo:

I will def. update when I get more info.  I was afraid it would be difficult to do as it is such a touchy area.  We REALLY want another couple to have the chance to have them, but it makes me nervous if just anyone with enough $$ gets that opportunity. I just want to know if they did result in babies they would be safe and taken care of and loved as much as they can. Is that wierd?

Not weird at all.  I worry so much about my remaining 6 embies when I think about them.   We're 99% done, and I don't know what will happen to them.

sawyer918

I paged you a few days ago asking how your babies are doing.  I realized afterward that you are really busy.  It sounds like your boys are doing great!  14lbs already!  I hope all is well for you.  I can't imagine 4 at one time.  Keep up the great work supermom.  I don't have any advice for you but I had to say something.

doz&koz

I think I can help you guys with this at least a little.  My twins are the result of an embryo adoption.  We went through the National Embryo Donation Center in Knoxville, TN.  Of course I know more about being the adopting parents,  but here's what I do know.  Through the NEDC, you would have the option of either an open donation (meaning you would get to okay the couple the embryos were being given to and be able to negotiate how much contact you have with the adopting parents and the resulting children) or closed donation (meaning you dontate your embryos and the NEDC decides who they go to and you would have no contact with the family).  Either way, couples are screened through the NEDC and they do require a homestudy. 

I really don't know the process of transfering your embryos to the NEDC, but they have some really helpful people there that I'm sure would be more than happy to answer your questions.  I know we had to pay a storage and transfer fee, so I don't know if there would be any cost to you at all.  There are other organizations that do this as well. 

If you feel that embryo donation is something you want to consider, I encourage you to contact the NEDC or another organization and ask questions.  From my point of view, I can tell you that these two babies I'm growing wouldn't have been possible without the generosity of another couple.  I'd be happy to try to help with other questions if I can.

joliemariée

roz&koz - thanks for that info! I have never heard of the NEDC but if the time comes I will look into it. Glad to hear it worked so well for you and that the people who donated were so selfless to do so!