**Davez and Courted**

efooey

hey

court:  there is a book for toddlers - Love and logic in early childhood

https://www.amazon.com/Love-Logic-Magic-Early-Childhood/dp/1930429002/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1279077152&sr=1-2

Davez:  I think it does help with that a little.  If I know she heard me but is ignoring me and continuing to do something naughty she goes to her room.  She always comes back a much better listener.

E 

DavezWife

Oh I am so on it!

 

efooey

p74 starts the uh-oh song.  GENIUS!  it has completely changed our house.

long story short...

For example, if she's doing something she shouldn't do - something she would get a time out for such as standing on top of the radiator, I'll ask her to get down Lucy that's not safe, could you get down please?  If she doesn't do it, ignores me or argues with me she gets no warnings, no more counting to 3 nothing, I start singing the uh-oh song and either walk her or carry her to her room.  

Uh-oh, it's so sad, time to go to your room.

Empathy but not nagging or lecturing.  either she already knows what she did was wrong or she will know shortly because she's being shown to her room.  When I drop her off I tell her that she can join us again when she's feeling sweet.  The book states that you keep the door shut until they calm down, wait one more minute and then let them out.  We don't have a kid proof door so we let her come back out on her own and it works fine.  She calms down and when she's out we give her a big hug and tell her we missed her.  Again, no lecturing or discussing it, she's already had a consequence and that's enough.

it's working really well for us, I'm feeling so much more relaxed and not stressed about her behavior.  I feel like I have a plan!

E 

DavezWife

OK, so this song.... (I'll get the book....)
Going to her room is a reward, and it's too far away from the common area. Does it need to be a room, or can we do a naughty chair, or rug?

And the "be sweet" and "missed you" - your words or what they suggest?

Ava used to have a "time out" chair, but it was more of a "gather yourself and calm down" place. She has not needed it forever, nor do we even threaten her with it. If she starts to freak, I tell her to pull it together or she's going to be in trouble. Neither of us know what "trouble" is, but we've not needed to find out. lol.

I think as spirited as Ava can be, she's a super laid back kid like Davez was... we have very little discipline issues right now, but I sure would LOVE for it to stay that way!

Right now, I'm dealing with the consequences of teaching her "I'm sorry" - it came from when she bonked Uncle Bloopers on the head, and now I even as much as say NO to her, and she tears up and says "I'm sorry momma" and runs to hug me. Ugh. Super cute, but it rips her up, she's quite sensitive to it, and it happens several times a day right now. (this just started) I try to calm her and say "No need to apologize, we're friends. Just say "yes momma" and we're good."

But she still gets very emotional to ANY situation that remotely requires an "I'm sorry."

Solve that one. lol.

Courted

Thank you so much!   I think I am going to go look for it today!  We have quite a few tantrums happening here.