Soldier's Green Bean.....

ougrad1

I just noticed your toddler and newborns are right at the ages Emerson and our twins will  be when they get here.

How is everything going?  How did your toddler react to the babies?   Any helpful hints you're willing to share? 

SoldiersGreenBean

Hey!

Everything is going relatively well, all things considered.  DD wasn't sure what to do with the twins, but she surpassed my expectations regarding her behavior towards them.  The first few weeks were harder as we all got adjusted, but she does really well with them now.  She's excited to see them in the morning, and will come down the stairs yelling "BABIES!," gives them hugs and kisses at night, and mimics us in trying to calm them down.  She's even passed on a couple of her stuffed animals (from the pile of toys she never plays with, but it was still a sweet gesture).

The problem is that she's still 2.  For me, the hardest part with DD has been figuring out of some of the acting out is because of the twins, or because she's 2; then determining appropriate responses based on which it appears to be (does she need a hug from me as opposed to a stern warning type stuff).  She's still learning to be more gentle with them (get your hands off their faces, and your fingers out of their eyes!), but she's really very good about gentle touches.

She became a mama's girl again - I've had to make a conscious effort to spend more 1 on 1 time with her (I do bath & bed whenever possible, while DH handles the usually screaming babies).  It can be very difficult, especially when I know that they're screaming because they want to eat (I was EBFing until yesterday, when they got their first half'n'half bottle overnight).  But I have noticed that making the extra effort with her has helped with the acting out.

We did have to push her bedtime back a little, too.  Before the twins came home, she was in bed between 7:30-8.  It seemed that the screaming was keeping her up, plus she felt like she was missing out on some fun.  We pushed it to 8:30 and that's helped a lot.  She will occasionally ask for one of the twins (usually DS) to join us while we read stories.  She goes to sleep much more easily with the later bedtime.

Something that I've noticed that helps is to make sure I tell the twins that whatever they're screaming about will have to wait until I'm done helping DD ("Just a minute Sophia while I help Grace").  That way, when I have to tell her the same thing, she doesn't get as upset.  If everyone's screaming at once, I try to help DD first - she's old enough to remember, while the twins aren't.

If it's just me, and the twins need to eat, DD gets to watch Dora.  I pop the DVD into my computer, and she sits next to me while they eat.  We've also tried not to change her routines too much - we aren't pushing potty training, nor have we taken away her binkies yet (although she does only get them at night and nap time).

I won't lie - it's been hard.  Very hard.  Mostly because I'm constantly attending to someone from the time I wake up until the time I go to bed.  10 seconds to myself is a very rare commodity, although DH does try to make sure I get it.  I know that it will pass, though.  And it's been so rewarding.  She loves holding them on the couch, or helping calm them down, or all 3 getting their diapers changed at the same time.

I hope it helps, somewhat.  If you can think of anything specific, I'll try to answer anything I can.  The biggest thing for me, I think, is trying to remember that she is still 2.  :-)

SoldiersGreenBean

Wow, that was long.  Sorry for my long-windedness!!

ougrad1

That was all super information.  The business all day long already overwhelms me.  Thank you so much for your thoughts.  I'll probably come hunt you down when I have more questions.  Thank you so much!!!