Questions upon questions

hep01

Hi I have been lurking for a while now but felt the need to post today. I am very new with all of the IF stuff but know some about it. We have been TTC since March & I started getting bad hot flashes which prompted my to go to my OBGYN. He did some b/w & sent me to an RE which did more b/w & an ultrasound. I was diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure at age 27. She said I only had 6 follicles & we immediately started Stimulation drugs. I went for my retrieval this past Friday & no eggs were retrieved. She said that my next step is donor eggs or adoption. She is supposed to be the best RE in the state & I am wondering if I need a 2nd opinion or what I should do. I am worried that if I do donor eggs I will have trouble bonding with this child or resent them. Is this a normal fear? Thanks so much in advance for your help! I always come to this board when I don't want to feel along any longer.

kthappy76

I'm sorry for your dx.  I would recommend a second opinion for treatment options if nothing else, though it seems unlikely that it is an incorrect dx given your response.  I think your fears are completely normal, some can overcome them, others not.  Best of luck to you!

June24Bride

I have a friend that was diagnosed with what you had. She was shocked, but for sure went and got a second opinion. I would too, just to know you've got all the information you can, and that it is accurate.

I'm sure that your feelings are normal about donor eggs. If it doesnt feel right, it doesnt feel right. No one is going to blame you for that or look differently on you. It's a VERY personal choice, just the same for adoption. If you are debating it, my general response is, it's likely not for you. ( but that's just me )

I'd get a 2nd opinion for sure. Have you been on any hormones? Estrogen? 

GenRN45

you need a second opinion. you might get pregnant with a change in protocol and a new doctor.

sligarhill

I don't know much about your situation, but my sister said something to me last night that may or may not make you feel a little better.

She also went through IF issues and after 7 years finally just had her first child a perfect little boy.

She said "I know it is hard right now and there is nothing I can say or do to make you feel better, but God knows the child you are supposed to raise. God already has that child's whole life mapped out, and we are not in control of when that precious little miracle is supposed to born"

Sorry you are having to face the idea of using donar eggs. No matter how you get your "baby" I am sure you will find a way to love and adore the child you will raise.

LaneyLooLoo

Lexington, SC?!!! I'm in Charleston!  I think we are the only 2 in SC.  Did you use SouthEastern Fertility Center?  I know they have a branch in Columbia.  They have wonderful success rates.  I don't know the Dr.s at that location, but I heart mine.

I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this IF stuff.  It just isn't fair or nice.

Yes, it is absolutely normal to have those fears about DE.  I think everyone does.  I also think it is a very personal emotional response for each person.  I will share with you what I told my husband about the possibility of DS.  There are plenty of people with whom I share DNA but I don't like.  Since most people agree that personality is greatly influenced by nurture, the baby will be the person you and your husband raise.  He/she will be your  baby because of your parenting.

It never hurts to have a second opinion. 

Welcome to the board.  Selfishly, I'm glad to have someone so close to Charleston!  Please do not hesitate to contact me.

LaneyLooLoo

BTW, the SC board is almost non-existant!

c1311

I think you owe it to yourself to get a second opinion.  That's a lot to take in all at once.  I'd find an RE who specializes in POF, even if it is a clinic that is located in another state.  I know SIRM does free phone consults and others might too.  It might help put things into perspective for you.  My RE says that age plays a very big role in things, even with a DOR type diagnosis and at 27 you are young, so perhaps an EPP would work better for you.

Best wishes.

gidge

I would probably get a 2nd opinion for peace of mind.  Maybe another protocol could help?

 Also, you may just need more time with the idea of your dx before you can accept any alternative.  DH and I are considering ds and I have the same concerns you mentioned (oddly enought, I don't have those concerns about adoption).  I'm not 100% opposed so we're taking some time for me to think more about it until I can figure out if it's an option for me or not.

njohnson1972

I would definitely get a second opinion. There are other ladies here that are younger like you that have been diagnosed with DOR and POF and have had success.  One thing you do have on your side is younger eggs.

We have retrieved 4-5 eggs with my IVF attempts and I am DOR and 38 years old with typically 3-5 follicles prior to starting IVF.  The fact that you got no eggs worries me about your RE.  Did you ovulate on your own (that just happened to one of the ladies here and she got no eggs)?

There are also a few different protocols to use for IVF and some people respond to different protocols better than others.  The success rate with 2nd IVF attempts is higher because REs learn more about you and how you respond after your 1st attempt.

There is also a DE check-in each week which you may want to join.  I have done 2 IVF cycles and I am considering DE.  But my RE isn't pushing me to do it.  I just realize that I make poor quality eggs.

Good luck!

anangelbug

ALWAYS always always get a second and sometimes a third opinion. Especially when it's something big like this.  

Worry about donor eggs if and when you cross that bridge.   I am moving onto adoption. I will never bear my own child.  Yes, somedays it's harder than others, someday's you will be fine with it. Other day's you will be sad.  I also recommend seeking a counselor, specifically one that specializes in Infertility... this is important. 

Hang in there and good luck.

hep01

I came off BC in March & had 2 cycles that were no where when they should have been & then April 7th was the 1st day of my last cycle. I ovulated about 2 weeks after (used OPK) but never had AF. My 1st appt w/ RE she told me I had 6 follicles. Throughout the Stimulation cycle which was 8 days, she monitored only 2 stimulating & 1 possible cyst. I used Gonal-F & did my trigger shot on the 8th day.

I don't really feel like she is pushing me to use DE's b/c she told me that I could either to that or adopt but didn't feel like she was pushing. She is very matter of fact which I really like b/c I don't want anyone sugar coating this.

I am going to Advanced Fertility in Columbia. 

I know this sounds too hopeful but I wonder if my body just needs time to get back to normal since I was on BC for 13 years.