Is it wrong?

ai286047

Ok so my DH is military and we live in Japan currently. Dh is deployed but his little sister is getting married in july and I am flying there for her wedding.All the family keeps telling me all the stuff they are buying for my baby girl. Is it wrong to just ask if we can have a baby shower? I mean, my dad will be meeting me there when I come back and DH's WHOLE family will be there. I'm not trying to be selfish and want a party, I just think it might be nice since I haven't met all of his family and it would be nice to include them since we live so far away. Plus, they already bought presents so it might be fun! What do you think?

EastCoastBride

Yes, it's wrong.  For you it would be nice and convienent, but his sister is getting married and the focus needs to be there for her fmaily.

While I do believe "you get one day" for a wedding, at the same time, if my soon to be SIL 1- ASKED for her own shower, and 2- asked that it be given w/in days of my wedding- I'd be pissed.  Most of their at least immediate family is going to be too busy. 

 

scheti01

I'm in a pretty similar situation, my DH is military and we live in Italy (although I am going back to the states for my friends wedding rather than my SIL.)  My DH suggested to his mother via Skype that while I was back in the states it would be the perfect opportunity to have a special get together to celebrate the baby.  Just explain the situation to your future SIL and make sure she is okay with it (you never want to steal the spotlight from a bride.)  I hope everything works out the way you would like. 

arpetree1

I think it would be rude to ask for a shower. If they offer then thats different.

robinsokj

A:Its wrong to ask for a shower

B: Its wrong to steal the bride's thunder

happyjc10

robinsokj:

A:Its wrong to ask for a shower

B: Its wrong to steal the bride's thunder

This. Definitely.

Pleeeeease don't ask for a shower.  Throwing a shower is a pain in the _ass!  It is expensive and time consuming.  Even if they agree to throw  you one if you do decide to ask, they will probably resent you and your choice to ask (I sure would).

It will also take attention away from the bride, which is wrong.

CrazyToast

I agree with everyone's posts about not asking.

My mother really wants to do something like a sip and see for me in October after LO is born and we are up for my sister's wedding (her 2nd).  My sister's wedding is a justice of the peace wedding on a Friday.  I'm STILL avoiding it like the plague so my sister doesn't get upset or feel slighted. 

NewFamily09

yes it's wrong.  If you want to meet all his family, there's another way to do that than asking for a shower.  Why not suggest just a regular get together?  Plus, it's not cool to steal thunder from someone who's getting married.

ai286047

I love my SIL very much. In fact I am flying in a week before the wedding to help out with eveything. I had no intention of asking for a shower before her wedding, I am staying an additional week after the wedding. I wont ask though, because everyone thinks its rude. Just thought I would get some oppinions. Thanks.