Advice if you have relocated

Expecting0207

We moved here 2 weeks ago.  DH stayed for a week to get us set up and went back (400 miles away) to finish work and will be here for good around Father's Day.  I am not doing as well as I thought.  We don't know anyone here, and while people are extremely friendly, I just feel like an outsider. 

My 3 year old goes from sweet angel to a devil and back non-stop.  I know she is having her own transition but it's really wearing on me.  It's only a few more weeks until DH comes but every day feels like a week.

I also have no discipline to add structure to our day.  Today we didn't go anywhere until 7pm.  I suck.  I know I need to get out and do stuff or I won't make any friends.  We joined the Y, got a library card, and are in a couple mommy groups on meetup.com and another site.  I guess the advice I would give myself is to get off my ass and also to give it some time.  But if you have any other ideas, I'm open to them!

~Kat~

One thing that really helped me get settled in our new area was forcing myself to do something every day. I would go our to lunch at local places, walk around the downtown area and hang out at the park. I didn't even meet any new people right away, but feeling like our new town was a familiar place was so helpful. Do you attend church usually? Once we found a church that we liked we felt much more connected to the community.

ans1999

I agree with the prior poster. You HAVE to get out. I know it is hard because you are mourning the loss of your place. But you control how happy you will be in the next place. Are there summer classes/programs you can sign your 3 year old up for? We just moved to a new state a few months ago. I was with the kids for 3 months on my own. It was torture. My DS (3 also) was a bear. He missed his daddy and really acted up without him. Things are finally settling down and it is finally feeling more like home here. We have relocated 3 times in the past 7 years for DH's work. The biggest thing I have learned is you have to put yourself out there.

AZ_Erica

We moved pretty recently and while we are still trying to get our bearings I feel like we are doing pretty good.  We went to story hour and met a really nice family there we are now friends with.  I really just tried to be very outgoing and strike up conversations with moms who looked my age and/or had kids similar ages.  We also joined a mommy group which is kind of through a church (but not our church).  it is good.  I have met a few people that i really like so that is good, and we already met a family who will be in DS's preschool class. 

 Give yourself some time though.  You will meet people and it sounds like you are already doing the right things.  Kids are also great ice breakers.  DS got me invited to the church mommy group because he was talking up a store and another mom approached me to tell me he was cute.  

 Good luck.  It's hard, and some days are better than others. 

Zenya

To me it sounds like you're doing great!  You've joined groups which is a great move.  It's OK to just be in flux the first little while.  then you get sick of that (as you are already) and you get going.

Give yourself an hour break every day.  That's when you sit and relax.  Every other minute of the day fill up with plans.  It could be a trip to the post office.  A long drive around your new area.  Just get familiar with how life is.   Take it all in and before long you'll get excited about it!

AnnapolisLari

Seriously? You've joined more in 2 weeks than I have in almost 2 months.

Zenya's right about the driving around-- we spend tons of time with a map, just randomly getting lost. It helps you get un-lost. And while we're lost, we stop for a treat. :-)

I am not a big fan of the forced friendships that you end up making with meetup groups. We make our friends at the places we go-- more chance of similar interests.

annak23

We have moved alot.  I would take DD on a walk every morning to the closest park & we'd hang out there all morning. You can also check out the neighborhoods that way & see where other small children might live (swingsets in the yard).  Take the girls to open swim at the Y (if you can handle both near water!) or story hour at the library, we would also go to McDonalds with the playarea for lunches...that way you could possibly meet other moms, but if you don't, it's ok, you still get out with the girls. Try to plan the days so that it's easier on you & them.