Postpartum Depression
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past ppd, new pregnancy
Hi, I just wanted to say that i'm a total lurker but I read all your posts and identify with every one of them. I suffered silently through horrible ppd after the birth of my son (now 2). Somehow I pulled myself out of it but i hate myself for all the time I lost with my son. I hate myself for the way I treated him, the love I didn't feel and how much I resented him. I really just thought I made a mistake having a baby and I was so ashamed and embarrassed. The few people I did talk to (my mother, my husband...) told me I was just "tired" or "overreacting". Once I started to "feel" again, I talked to my doc and we decided it was ppd. Now I am pregnant with #2 and scared to death I'll go through that again. Although this time I'm not sure I'd survive. My obgyn has suggested I take zoloft during the end of my pregnancy and after the birth. I was just wondering if anyone else has taken it as a "preventative" measure and what your experience was compared to your previous ppd. TIA
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Re: past ppd, new pregnancy
I had terrible PPD from a hormonal imbalance after my first that wasn't diagnosed until DS was 7 months. I felt terrible and there was a lot of difficulty. With my second I talked about it early, hoping that it wouldn't happen.
It turns out that I started suffering from severe antipartum depression when I was only 5 months pregnant. I refused to take anything while I was pregnant and just tried a lot of other techniques.
Near the end my Dr and I discussed that when DD was born that I would have a prescription written right away and that I should see how I felt after she was born for the first two weeks. Before I was discharged from the hospital they had a long talk with me and DH to make sure that we didn't let it get too bad.
After about 10 days my DH came to me and handed me my prescription that he had filled that afternoon. When I asked why he asked me how long it had been since I had eaten or slept. I hadn't eaten in 36 hours or slept in 48 and there was no good reason as DD was terrific and he could see me starting to spiral downwards.
I'm glad that he did that because I take Celexa and it often takes 2 weeks to start working and I started to go down hill the first week and without having started it, who knows how fast I would have crashed.
As a result I am much happier this time and my guilt comes from not enjoying DS enough but thankfully he was too little to remember and I more than make up for it now.
Good luck with everything and let me know if I can help in any way.