I think (hope) I'm in the right place...

Jessys_Girl

Need to vent, cry, talk to someone about this and not sure where to turn other than here.

My marriage is falling apart.  We are under so much financial stress and I've made some financial mistakes in the past that have made it worse for us now and my husband is SOOO stressed and is starting to resent me and be angry...and we fight ALL the time and I feel like just about every other day I'm having a major meltdown and I'm petrified he's going to leave me and I'm freaking out because I don't know what I'd do without him.  I love him so much and I can't imagine life without him....I cry almost daily and I feel like everything's falling apart.

THEN when I start feeling that way I get so overwhelmed and upset because I totally should be superwoman and be able to hold it together....For a living I'm a therapist, so I feel like I shouldn't get depressed...and then I feel like I'm a fool for feeling that way, that everyone's human.  And from a professional stand point I recognize my symptoms as depression and anxiety and I KNOW I need to talk to someone but it's just so damn hard to admit that i'm falling apart....

Gina418

Those first few weeks after your baby is born are the toughest - no matter how much you think you were prepared for, you get thrown for a loop! When people ask what's harder, the first year of marriage or the first year of a baby, I always say BABY!! When you add in money stress, it's even worse. Maybe you both can benefit from some marriage counseling, have you talked about that? I think you both have some issues/anxieties/fears going on here, I think he should be involved in getting help too. GL.

Jessys_Girl

After the fight we had this morning I have been thinking long and hard that I'm going to suggest couples counceling because I agree he should be involved in getting help.  I also have an appointment (my DD's 2 month check up) with the doc on Tuesday so I plan to talk to him then about me possibly getting on some meds or something.  It just feels like things keep getting worse and worse and I keep thinking "Having a baby is supposed to be such a WONDERFUL time in my life, why does it suck so bad???"

Gina418

Definitely bring this up with your doc. - you should be feeling better and better every day, not worse and worse (that's how I knew I needed help too). A combo of meds (Lexapro) and counseling worked for me. I know how much my dh's support helped me - I hope things get better for you two. Please keep us posted on how you're doing.

NewMrs07

I just ventured onto this board and saw your post, but for what it's worth, I didn't have PPD but I felt like I did for about 2 months after giving birth. All the feelings you describe are normal due to the physical stress of childbirth, hormones and the fact that your life has just been turned completely upside down. Please don't make any decisions about your marriage right now. I felt the same thing, I was pissed at DH and felt like we might not make it due to the constant fighting. Add to that the fact that I had my BIL living with us for a month and I had to go back to work 7.5 weeks after DS was born. Not fun.

I think you should give yourself some time to heal and adjust to life with a new baby. Your husband is going through similar feelings and is just as overwhelmed as you. If I were you I would talk to someone so you can feel better and make sure it's not something more serious. But I can relate and can tell you that it will probably pass and things will get better. Once you're not so sleep deprived and the baby gets bigger and more independent, it will seem like a much better world.

Hang in there and good luck!