Pardon my ignorance, but....

Temp984666312503071

I have been on both sides of this fence...

DD was concieved after 2 years, 2 losses, and IVF.  Lots of charting, lots of meds, lots of money, lots of tears, lots of effort.

This baby was concieved because I got tipsy during a snowstorm and had stopped nursing my DD the month before.

At the end of the day, pregnancy is a mystery.  If you can get pregnant by "f*cking like bunnies" then COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.  If you get pregnant on the pill when you least expect it... honestly?  Count your blessings.  My current pregnancy is a miracle in my eyes and the fact that we didn't have to go through the ringer again is something I cannot even describe the relief of.  Unexpected and maybe a little bit early for my comfort?  Yes.  But my joy was on so many levels I can't even describe it.

Pregnancy is a touchy topic.  Even with my history, I don't mention how "easily" I got pregnant to ANYONE IRL.  Most assume we did ART again.  I let them assume it.  There is no fairness to any of this.

One last thing...  I highly recommend that EVERY WOMAN reads about charting or at least about how it works.  Our bodies are amazing and knowing how they work is empowering.  Even if you choose to go the more laid back route of TTC, it is still great to know what our bodies do and the rhythm behind it.  Knowledge is power. You might be surprised at how easy it is and possibly avoid hormonal birth control in the future (if you so choose). 

CinemaGoddess

piecesofflare:

cinema_goddess:

I wasn't trying to be smug.  I've said this before on threads in first-tri. 

The point I was trying to make is similar to what someone said in another thread, the people come here having gotten pregnant in different ways.  To say one way of getting pregnant is more worthy or should be more respected than another is offensive.  I did get pregnant easily.  Too easily, IMO. 

To call one way of getting pregnant "more cerebral" than another is implying that other ways of getting pregnant are less intellectual, hence: stupid.  I've personally been called ignorant by 1st tri posters in the past when I said I didn't know I was pregnant until I was 6+ weeks pregnant. 

I think you're taking this wrong.  Cerebral doesn't mean 'smarter', it means that it's been throught through more.  And yes, charting to get pregnant takes more thought than just fvcking like bunnies.  Thinking about things is more cerebral than not thinking about things. 

 

You're right.  Cerebral does mean putting more thought into something. 

However, I still don't think it is right or necessary to look down on someone who got pregnant without charting or got pregnant very easily with charting.  I see a lot of that done here.  It's just as offensive as calling someone mean because they can't conceive.  It's making a snap judgment about someone based entirely on their reproductive parts and how well they work.  

MrsTechie

cinema_goddess:

piecesofflare:

cinema_goddess:

I wasn't trying to be smug.  I've said this before on threads in first-tri. 

The point I was trying to make is similar to what someone said in another thread, the people come here having gotten pregnant in different ways.  To say one way of getting pregnant is more worthy or should be more respected than another is offensive.  I did get pregnant easily.  Too easily, IMO. 

To call one way of getting pregnant "more cerebral" than another is implying that other ways of getting pregnant are less intellectual, hence: stupid.  I've personally been called ignorant by 1st tri posters in the past when I said I didn't know I was pregnant until I was 6+ weeks pregnant. 

I think you're taking this wrong.  Cerebral doesn't mean 'smarter', it means that it's been throught through more.  And yes, charting to get pregnant takes more thought than just fvcking like bunnies.  Thinking about things is more cerebral than not thinking about things. 

 

You're right.  Cerebral does mean putting more thought into something. 

However, I still don't think it is right or necessary to look down on someone who got pregnant without charting or got pregnant very easily with charting.  I see a lot of that done here.  It's just as offensive as calling someone mean because they can't conceive.  It's making a snap judgment about someone based entirely on their reproductive parts and how well they work.  

I think that you are coloring my statement with all kinds of prejudice. It appears that your bad experience with another post has resulted in the way you chose to interpret statements made here.

My post was in no way a judgement on those who get pregnant without charting or other intervention. The OP said that she hoped people would not chart unless they needed to. My thoughts and experiences on this topic are that people do, in fact, chart without "needing" to. I chose to put more thought and planning into the actual act of conception than someone who simply has a bunch of sex every month. For me, it was a more thought-intensive way of getting pregnant. Or, more cerebral.

Jen&Jeff06

I got pg first cycle with DS.  Didn't chart, just had sex.  This pg, I got pregnant on the pill.  I am done after this kid. 

OP- don't feel bad about not having fertility problems.  Seems like the majority of people here do, but IRL, I know very few.  I had never even heard of half of these acronyms before I joined the Nest/Bump.  I just pass up the IF posts because they don't pertain to me. 

 

monimonimoni

I do not pardon ignorance.

CinemaGoddess

MrsTechie:

I think that you are coloring my statement with all kinds of prejudice. It appears that your bad experience with another post has resulted in the way you chose to interpret statements made here.

My post was in no way a judgement on those who get pregnant without charting or other intervention. The OP said that she hoped people would not chart unless they needed to. My thoughts and experiences on this topic are that people do, in fact, chart without "needing" to. I chose to put more thought and planning into the actual act of conception than someone who simply has a bunch of sex every month. For me, it was a more thought-intensive way of getting pregnant. Or, more cerebral.

Bolded part:  Yeah, that happens a lot here.  It's difficult to interpret the tone of posts.   This is a very sensitive issue for me since one of the first posts I ever made on this board resulted in an insult directed towards me that was not only wrong but ignorant unto itself.   And I see that kind of treatment and judgement happening more and more and it makes me angry that people would do this when they receive the same kinds of judgments themselves. 

Thank you for explaining.  I appreciate that you the time to do that. 

jaydensmommy622

We had sex on my dh birthday and BAM we were pregnant.

no charting, no dr visits, no nothing. Guess we were just lucky, but for some its a lot harder.

grr_aargh

Jen&Jeff06:

I got pg first cycle with DS.  Didn't chart, just had sex.  This pg, I got pregnant on the pill.  I am done after this kid. 

OP- don't feel bad about not having fertility problems.  Seems like the majority of people here do, but IRL, I know very few.  I had never even heard of half of these acronyms before I joined the Nest/Bump.  I just pass up the IF posts because they don't pertain to me. 

 

Lots of people don't talk about their IF in their face to face interactions with people.  Chances are good you know several people who have not discussed their fertility status with you.  Especially if you act as though it is rare.

I know a lot of women.  And a LOT of them have had fertility problems.  Part of this is colored by my own experiences with recurrent loss, but once I began discussing it with people, I was astounded at the number of people I knew who had never told me a thing until we too began to struggle.