toddler bday invites: bffs or whole class? (clicky poll)

heybabe

DS1 is turning 3 soon and I have already reserved the gym for his bday party. It is an actual gymnastics gym where the kids play with the mini trampoline (padded), foam pits, mats, parachute games, etc. I am undecided how many kids to invite to the party. 

DS still goes to his old daycare (we have a nanny now) 2 mornings a week for a few hours just to socialize & hang out with his buddies and play.  There are 9 other kids in the class, but there are 2 little boys in particular who he always plays with, talks about, etc. His BFFs, if you will.

We are inviting 6 kids who are the kids of good friends who we see/play with regularly on weekends. So DS + 6 = 7 kids. My quandry: invite just the two BFFs (for 9 kids total) or the whole class (for 16 total)?  Plus, the invitees' younger siblings (4, ranging in age from 4 mo to 11 mo).

16 just seems like sooo many 3 year olds to me!! But I do not want to offend/upset anyone at all. The kids are too young to know, it's the parents I'm worried about. Would it offend you if you knew/found out another kid in your kid's class had a birthday party and invited some of the classmates, but not your kid?  Aaaaggg! I cannot believe I'm stressing over a 3 yr old's bday party!

The gym policy is that you have to have (and pay for) an "instructor" for every 7 kids.  The first one "comes with" the rental fee. So there is no issue with supervision. There would be a difference in price (inviting the whole class bumps the number up so we'd need 3 instructors instead of 2), but it's not enough $ that I'm basing my decision on on that alone.  

[Poll]

bobcatsteph

Our daycare's policy is that you have to invite the whole class if you're giving out invitations at daycare.

MrsBeckO

Ditto PP about daycare policy. You might want to look into that.

A&Jmom

bobcatsteph:

Our daycare's policy is that you have to invite the whole class if you're giving out invitations at daycare.

ditto! 

We invited Abby's whole class this past year and only 2 of the kids (with their siblings, 3 more kids) showed so it was really no biggie.   Their were 20 kids total and while yes it was a lot of 2-4 year olds they all had a blast.  It was not at my house so that many kids was no big deal.

AustinAggie

I just invited DS's best friend from school.  I took the invitation with me when I picked him up and hand-delivered the invitation to the other mother.  We also have a school directory, so I could have mailed invitations to whomever I wanted.  Honestly, I wasn't inviting any of the school kids this year until DS started talking a ton about his BFF.  DS's teachers left around Spring Break and the class was combined with another one.  DS can't even name the "new" kids, so I don't think he'll miss them.  Last year though, we did invite his whole class.  He'd been with the same kids for 2 years, we knew the majority of the parents socially and there were only 4 other kids in the class.

KateAggie

I'm in the "invite all" camp.  My just turned 3 year old talked about her birthday non-stop, and her classmates were excited, too.

Kids have plenty of time to feel excluded as they grow up, and it is possible to have hurt feelings at that age.

lauraleither

Just thowing this out there, but if the day care has a policy that the class has to be invited then other parents may know that and when they get the invite if their kid doesn't really play with yours or doesn't talk about yours then they may not come... they may just know you had to invite them you know? 

Does that make sense?