What has helped you grieve?

about*that

I lost my baby at around 11 weeks last month.  It was my 2nd m/c in 4 months.  I thought I was handling it well, but this past weekend has been absolute hell.  I'm a nurse and 2 of my patients have died since then (not a common thing in my unit), and I feel like that hasn't helped.

 I have wonderful friends and family, especially my husband.  I can tell him anything, but he doesn't really know what to say when I talk about the m/c's and I can tell it makes him a little bit uncomfortable.  (I tend to be a bit of a smart@$$ about it!)  My closest friends have been through multiple m/c's as well, but they have kids now and it feels a little weird talking to them about it in detail. 

What has helped you get through your loss?  I just don't know what to do. I plan to talk to my Dr about it as well at my appt Friday.  Thank you ladies!

Sonadora

Hi-

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Honestly? These ladies, wine, and sarcasm.

 

PeetiePie

I'm so sorry for your loss.  This board has helped me a lot.  When I'm strong enough I pray, but lately I've been doing a whole lot of bittching.  Sometimes making fun of people helps.  

northshore25

Hi,

I am very sorry for your losses. My husband has been my biggest help. Our want for a baby is so strong that it is driving us forward. When he doesn't know what to say or do, I also LOVE the ladies here. And I have been known to drown my sorrows in a martini or two. And...there is alway working out. Oddly enough, that helps.

ashleyy0219

Aside from getting support from DH, friends & family this board has helped me more than words can say.  Sometimes just hearing that someone else is going through this too makes me feel like I'm not completely alone....

(((HUGS)))

Brady1*

I am so sorry for your losses. Honestly the only thing that has helped me grieve is this board and these amazing ladies. Oh and LOTS of margaritas and wine. DH too. But I don't think I could have gotten through my m/c and d & c without the ladies here. 

Please know there is no right or wrong way to grieve everyone does it different. I sat with my Dr for about 2 hrs at my d & c follow up appt and talked to her about how I felt and she answered questions. That really helped a lot too. 

((HUGS)) 

iammad

I'm sorry for your loss. 

For me - in this order:

1.  My amazing husband
2.  My dog (his nickname is therapy dog now - greyhound)
3.  This board!!
4.  The ladies on this board
5.  Chocolate
6.  Lazy nights at home

magdalina.h

I'm sorry for your loss. I have a different situation, but what helps me is talking about Aidan as much as I can. I also have a couple of pictures that one of the nurses took of Aidan that I carry around with me everywhere.  When I start to feel sad I just look at them.

jen629

Sonadora:

Hi-

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Honestly? These ladies, wine, and sarcasm.

 

this exactly! I am so sorry for your loss

Laurakat81

Reading everything I can get my hands on about miscarriage and pregnancy loss has helped me. This board has helped me alot too, although I lurk more often than I post. Sometimes it is just nice to read that others feel the same way. I keep a journal and a blog too that I constantly write in.  My pets have helped tremendously (although my dumb dog actually just hurts my feelings...most dogs want to cheer you up when you cry but mine cowers down and runs away (she was in a very abusive "home" before we rescued her, so I'm assuming crying reminds her of something bad but it sure makes me feel even worse for crying lol).

I digress...my husband helps more than he knows. Just having someone to sit next to and not say a word to is great sometimes.

And lastly...lots of sick days from work. My boss has no idea of my pregnancy or my loss and I know she is not too pleased with all my sick days but honestly I need the time off and I take it as needed.  

uklawgirl

The ladies on this board have basically kept me from losing it. My DH and I told no one about our pregnancy or our loss, so I really have no one to talk to about it that really gets it. DH is supportive but it's just different for guys.

Also, charting and learning about fertility has helped me feel like I am in control and that has also helped me immensely.

writergirl5786

i'm so sorry for your losses. ((hugs))

honestly, this board has really helped a lot. along with blogging. and i'm a big music person, so i've compiled a playlist of songs that are either total tear jearkers, uplifters, reminders, just good darn songs. they usually tend to make me cry, but sometimes that's cleansing. and...my kitties. corny i know but we got apollo--my momma's boy kitty--during the 9 weeks we were pregnant. and he has been my cuddler ever since. don't think i could do it without him. and of course, DH. but i know what you mean about not being totally able to talk about everything with him.

((hugs)) again!

triple_sevens

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Here's what has helped me:

1) Yoga. It makes me relax like nothing else.

2) Blogging and the bump. I have made true friends and found a real support group.

3) Therapy.

4) Happy time with my husband and puppy.

5) Vacations-- planning them and taking them.

6) Crying. Lots and lots and lots of crying.

I hope you find some outlets to help you cope soon, too.