SAHMs - question on how you do it

KittyFX

If you decided to stay at home- you worked before baby and had to make that tough decision...any regrets? I'd like to think I'm a firm believer in there being no "wrong" decisions in life. That we make educated decisions that change our path but that there is no right or wrong or better or worse, just a different direction. Yet, I am afraid to quit my job to stay at home for the next couple of years.

What was difficult for you? (Budgeting for less $, isolation from other adults, DH thinking you don't really do anything all day??) Anything you wish you would have done differently when making the decision to SAH?

Mrs.Froggianna

Hands down the most difficult thing has been finding a way to find a balance between what I envisioned getting done and what I actually get done.  I went through a rough phase early on because I came down on myself pretty hard for not keeping the house as spotless as I thought I would/should.  Most days I have to embrace the mess and realize that my #1 priority is Luke.  When I manage to do that, it's a good day. 

A close second is keeping Luke stimulated.  Lately he gets bored very quickly, so it's been a big challenge finding ways to mix up our days.  Thankfully the weather's getting better so we can spend a lot of time outside, which he has yet to tire of.

ETA:  Good luck in your decision making process!  Being a SAHM is (in some ways) so much more work than having a 9-5, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I can honestly say I love my job!

KittyFX

I can definitely see that about embracing the mess. I have that problem right now and I have to check myself every time I think if I wasn't working I would somehow have more time.

I know I need to quit my job- hopefully I will get the guts up to do it soon.

daisybride1

I "work" from home (caring for three toddlers, including my own), but I feel I can chime in here.  I'm all about lists.  If I dont make a list, nothing will ever get done.  Budgeting has been a challenge, but Im making it through.  I pre-plan my weekly meals, and go to the store every Saturday, and only buy what is needed for those meals.  Most all my cooking takes place in the slow cooker.  I stick it in there in the morning while the kids eat breakfast, and then there is less to do in the evening when DH gets home.  Laundry is also done from a list/schedule.  As far as cleaning goes, we have a playroom that is pretty much where all the toys stay, so that helps keep the house clear from clutter.  Every evening after DD goes down, I pick up all the toys and sanatize.  I make sure I do it right away.  If I sit down to relax first, it will never get done.  Also, I make sure to take advantage of nap time.  I usually have about 30 minutes to an hour of all kids napping, so I take this time to quickly clean the kitchen and then take the remaining time to myself to sit and relax.  We do a weekly art project (which can also be done even if you dont run a daycare), and age appropriate learning, which helps the kids not to get "bored".  I also highly recommend atleast 30 minutes of outdoor play each day (weather permitting).  Since Im not able to leave the house, this also helps with my budgetting since Im not out shopping or on lunch dates.  Just the amount I used to spend on lunches when I worked full time has saved us a huge chunk of change (also helps my weightloss too which is always awesome). 

ali-1411

Yes and no. 

Budgeting and the isolation has been a rough adjustment. 

But I either have a really easy toddler or I just kickass at this SAH thing, because I have more time than I know what to do with.  The house is almost always clean, laundry is always done and dinner is easy.  Most days I don't really do anything, and DH is well aware of it

I don't regret staying home.  Sometimes I'm sad because I've screwed any career chances I may have had.  But I didn't really like my career anyway. 

NoVA-grl

I agree with Froggi that it is challenging to not be too hard on yourself for not getting as much done in a day as you would like. Everything just seems to take longer and the days seem to go by quicker.

Being a SAHM was definitely a big decision but it was one that DH and I had discussed before we even got married.  We are just fortunate enough that we can support it financially.

When we moved here, I started working from home and honestly that was a bigger adjustment.  The hardest part was missing out on the interaction with my co-workers (even though I stayed in touch via email/chat/phone).  I get more face-to-face interaction now than I did when I was working!  I like that I can be as busy as I would like or just stay home and have a low-key day.  There are tons of activities available and lots of kid-friendly things to do here in Austin.

Angie&Doc

I didn't work before I got pregnant. I was going to school full-time and my dh decided to take a job opportunity in Austin, so we moved. I was already not working, had just graduated and never went back to work. It was an easy transition for us because we had already been living off of just his income for a while. I don't have any regrets at all. I love being able to stay at home with him and have the freedom to do what we want when we want. Yes, it sucks not having the adult interaction all of the time, but I love being home with him.

KittyFX

Thank you all for your responses! We've never been good at budgeting, I don't know why but I just hate to do it, like somehow it limits my "freedom" if I have a budget. But, I've looked at what we've spent each month over the past year (I have this record since I billpay everything online)...and it's really a surprise to me but it looks like we totally live within DH's salary and my salary has really just been extra that has been accumulating in the bank. Even our IRA contributions are covered with DH's salary alone. DH did an analysis on our retirement and he said that if even if I stop working forever it would only put us off of retiring by 2 years since most of our retirement money comes from what we have already saved. This is astonishing to me but makes me feel a lot better about leaving my job.

I've been working from home for a few years now but my job is high stress and all consuming. I feel like I can't give 100% to anything right now and I don't like it. If I could focus more on DS I think I would be a lot happier and feel more purposeful in how I am spending my time. And like Novagirl mentions- all of the fun things available for kids that are available in Austin- I would love to involve DS in things more and this is just not happening with me working.