potty training/ getting out of bed (long)

Rink08

DS is 3 and had to be switched to a toddler bed at 14 months because he started climbing out of his crib. We originally had no problems with him staying in bed. Occasionally, he climbs out of bed and plays with his toys or tries to come out of the room and I'll hear him on the monitor and escort him back into bed without saying anything or else just saying something along the lines of "it's bedtime now, we can play with your toys in the morning" depending on the case. The problem is that now that he is almost potty trained (still wears diaper at night) he wants to keep getting out of bed claiming that he has to go to the bathroom.  Rarely does he ever actually go but instead will sit on the potty swinging his legs, singing songs, pretending to read a book ( you get the picture) and when we get back to his room he goes straight for the toys saying " I'm not tired anymore!" What do I do? I can't not let him go to the bathroom or he'll never learn to use it at night right? But the night before last I was up until 2:30 am going back and forth and he woke up wet at 6 am anyways so I know that's not right either. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

ridesbuttons

My 2.5 year old is potty training (very good overall but still training) and while we have been on holiday these past 2 weeks, getting out of bed 1-4 times for 'potty' has been the excuse du jour.

I tell him point blank that I had better see some pee-poo or I will be upset.  Also, after 2 trips, THAT'S IT.  No more trips to the potty at bedtime.  No excuses.

No advice.  Just, I feel your pain.  Yes.  Potty training is very, very important.  Yes.  Staying in bed at night is very, very important.

It won't last forever.  Nothing does.

Cheers.

joy143dh

We're going through something similiar.   As soon as we turn off his lights, he gets out of bed to go potty.  We go back and forth at least 3 times each night.  On one hand, I don't want to rush him when it seems like he really needs to go #2.  But now he knows we won't rush him, so he always tells us he needs to go #2.  It's a struggle.  He's totally potty trained and goes to the bathroom by himself all day.  But at night, he calls for us to sit with him while he sits on the potty.  1:30 this morning he came into our room to tell us he was about to go pee.  We were like "ok, go ahead" but he insisted we get up and keep him company while he went.  Anyway, I have no advice.  We're just hoping it's a phase that will pass soon.  GL to you!

muchlove

My DD was older (2 1/2) when she both potty trained and started sleeping in a big girl bed within the same 3 month period. The novelty is almost too much for them to handle all at once.  The "curtain calls", as I call them (I have to pee, I need a hug, etc) are a ploy. But of course sometimes they ill be real. the trick is to get the staying in bed thing down pat first. 

DD did the same thing for a couple of weeks and then it kind of faded. I helped it fade with the threat of the dreaded "gate" which DD considers a fate worse than death.  I explained simple sleep rules every night before book and cuddle time ("At bed time we stay in bed, close our eyes, and lay quiet until we fall asleep"). If she broke any of the rules I gave a warning and took the gate out and left it by the doorway. After the second infraction the gate goes up and I set the timer for 3 min then take it down. Some nights the gate went up and down 4 or 5 times before she would just give up and go to sleep. One night after a fw nights of gates up and down I put the gate up before cuddle time and said (nicely) that I think it is better to just put the gate up until we make sure that she knows how to follow the sleep rules. The next night she told me she didn't need the gate and that was pretty much it. The gate comes out now and then when she is testing limits-which they do end to do now and then.

(Just FWIW, I never ever imagined I would end up being a gate-wielding type of woman. I do worry that "the gate" is what she will be in therapy about years from now. But it worked and it beats fighting and losing my patience and her dreading bed time).

I guess this plan only works if your DC really would hate the gate and only if you would feel comfortable with it, as I am sure not everyone would.

I would also recommend turning the bedroom into a toy free zone for the time being. Make it very bornig!

muchlove

I also wanted to say that DD is now almost 4 and potty trained over a year but I still come with her at night if she does have to go to the bathroom, which is rare so I really don't mind.

Rink08

Thank You All!

amiamish

ridesbuttons:

My 2.5 year old is potty training (very good overall but still training) and while we have been on holiday these past 2 weeks, getting out of bed 1-4 times for 'potty' has been the excuse du jour.

I tell him point blank that I had better see some pee-poo or I will be upset.  Also, after 2 trips, THAT'S IT.  No more trips to the potty at bedtime.  No excuses.

No advice.  Just, I feel your pain.  Yes.  Potty training is very, very important.  Yes.  Staying in bed at night is very, very important.

It won't last forever.  Nothing does.

Cheers.

ditto this. We just started full on PTing this week and DS is 99% trained. I still put him in a diaper at night because he wakes up a little wet. He will say he needs to pee or poop usually 1x after going to bed, we let him try-but that's his ONLY chance. He goes potty before bed anyway, so there's usually not a lot left to come out.

dpdw

DS was PT'd at 3.5 and also wanted to keep getting out of bed to use the potty after bedtime.  At first I indulged him thinking he really had to go and fearful he would have an accident in bed.  Once I realized he was just stalling I instituted a "house rule".  He can ask to get out of bed one time after we turn off the lights.  If he doesn't actually pee or poop during that one time I take away his favorite toy which he liked to sleep with, and he wasn't allowed to get out of bed again until the sun was up.  If he had an accident, he had an accident.  DS was still in a crib at the time so he couldn't/wouldn't get out on his own, which made enforcing the "no getting out of bed" possible.  It was a little bit of a battle for maybe a week or two, but eventually he figured out I was serious.  Sometimes he did pee or poop during that one time after lights out, but he never once had an accident in bed.

ilovemygirls

When my DD was night training my DH came up w/the idea of putting a little potty in her room.  We put a thing of Kan-Doo's next to it & she could get up & pee when she wanted - we'd dump it in the a.m.  She thought it was awesome to be a big girl & go by herself.  Once she was consistently dry at night & a little older, we transitioned her to using the potty in the hallway. 

Jerseygirl16

If DD1 says she has to use the potty and doesn't go we know that she is just trying to stay out of bed.  We give her the one try and firmly tell her that if she has to go again that is fine but if she says she has to and doesn't she is going in time out.  That always works for us.  Just the threat of timeout is a great motivator.  Every now and again we'll have to follow through with one but mostly she stays in bed after that.