s/o of done having kids. How hard is 3 vs 2

Sunflower777

So I've had some of those thoughts about being a little sad to be done having children. DH and I are pretty sure we are done (we have 2 boys), but sometimes I think... well, maybe a few years down the road. 

Along those lines, I'm curious. How much harder is 3 than 2? I've heard people say once you have two, "adding on" from that point isn't bad. But it has to be, doesn't it? Especially when they're young. And this may be an odd concern, but I worry about the middle child kind of getting lost in the shuffle. 

 

kellilea

I'm so glad you posted this!  We can't seem to decide if we want to go for a third or not and I feel like when need to make a decision soon. 

samanthony

My son is an angel, so the transition really wasn't too bad for me. The biggest difference is just amount of free time. I really don't have much... Ha ha .

ErinNConnorsMom

It was hard every time we brought a newborn home.  We eventually adjusted, and the number of kids we had became the "new normal".  I don't think having 3 kids is all that difficult.  I can manage all of them by myself, at home or in public.  I'm no supermom, and some days I count down the hours until bedtime, but overall I'm very happy with having 3 kids.

I don't think I'll ever have to worry about Connor getting lost in the shuffle.  He's his own person and our family wouldn't be complete without him.  It probably helps that he's the only boy and he likes sports like his daddy .

jettagurl

i think going from 0-1 and 1-2 was much harder than going from 2-4.  The older two do a great job playing/entertaining each other.  We all play together in the morning and after afternoon naps, but they really play with each other a lot.  It really makes it so easy to focus on the babies.  I've been much more relaxed this time, and able to enjoy things more.  Adding DD was the hardest, and she was an easy baby....it was just hard with a 19 mo old that didn't know anything other than having all my attention.  If I had endless money, I'd probably have more kids.  

ETA: I also want to say that I think a lot of my ease with 4 comes with how I just "jumped" in.  I SAH and DH works very long hours (and often 7 days/wk), so I knew that I needed to adjust quickly and get out with all 4 and get the older two used to that.  I talk all of them to every dr appt, and often to Target every couple weeks.  I am not nervous at all about going out with them by myself, we have a system and it works great.  I also put the older two back in daycare 1 day per week with the same provider we used when I worked....they are great friends with her kids and it gives me a slow day and a day for them away from me.   

grja

Everyone keeps telling me that 2-3 is much easier than 1-2. The older two play with each other and gives you more time to spend with the 3rd. When you only have 2, the older one always wants you while you are taking care of the baby.

 

shopgirl78

granted, i am only 2 months in, i didn't think 2-3 was any harder that 1-2, which i thought was pretty easy.  

things are a bit more difficult on dance night, where i have to entertain both boys while waiting for DD at dance class, its hard because it is during DS2 witching hour and he just wants to eat, eat, eat and DS1 wants to play, explore (read wonder off), otherwise my first in is school so its a lot like having 2 

Chrisy-Wyobride

I think it depends on your kids & the ages...I don't think it's a universal answer.  My kids are 2.5yrs apart (all 3) & having 3 is kicking my ass.  DD#3 is easy going--she's not really the issue.  DD#2 is NOT & never has been...she's been a terrible 2/3 the same time as having an infant & it is horrible for me.  She cries, demands & whines virtually non-stop.  Which makes dealing w/ the baby & the 5yr old on top of it very stressful for me personally.  The first 3mo was good when the baby slept a lot & the weather was nice (so the kids were outside a lot), but as the baby gets older, it's actually much harder for me.  I have 3 kids at home (I SAH) alone from 11:30-6pm everyday (my DD#1 is in morning preschool).  I have a really hard time coping that long w/ 3.  My older two have a love/hate relationship...mostly they play great--but they fight too which drives me nuts.  I think this summer & next year (when DD#1 & DD#2 are in school) will be much better...but this is hands down been the hardest 6mo of my life.  The kids demands on me are virtually non-stop & relentless...that is the worst part I feel.  Also since I have all girls & all are the same spacing--I really do feel DD#2 is gonna have serious middle child syndrome.  I honestly see it already and I am not sure what to do to stop it.  DD#1 is so dynamic, fun & outgoing...and DD#2 is moody, negative & shy--it's gonna be hard to find her niche I think.  I do want another kid, but not for several years.  

Jen2124

I don't have 3, but it is funny you posted this because I always hear that 3 is soo much harder than 2. I get the whole "once the number of kids outweigh the number of parents, it gets sooo much harder" thing a lot. Also how things are made for familys of 4, etc.

I guess the answer is different for different people, but I am convinced that 3 would be much harder than 2 for me.....and this is coming from someone who doesn't/didn't think twins is that hard.

stos

This is a very interesting post to read. We are on the fence about having a 3rd. We always thought we wanted 3, but we have 2 boys that are 2 years apart and my youngest is very challenging. He is the jealous, demanding one and seems to already have middle child syndrome! If we have another, I want to do it soon so that they are all close in age. I am just very worried that it will be so much harder on all of us! So no answer for you, but thanks for posting.