Sleep Training at 3 Months, and CIO

bellaleanne

So this CIO thing is obviously a taboo subject, but I feel the need to touch on it.

My kid was waking up every 30-50 minutes all night, needing to be nursed and then rocked endlessly and put to bed completely knocked out cold. I was exhausted. On top of this he was staying up for 3+hrs between 5-20 min naps all day (sometimes awake longer than 5hrs because he was way overtired but didn't know how to get to sleep and didn't want to sleep).

Everything I have read says not to even try to get them to soothe themselves before 4 months because they're not capable, it's neglectful and blah blah blah and so on.

So I was very skeptical about trying until I was feeling like punching something and breaking down because I was so tired. I'm a single mom...I'm one freaking person and I needed to figure out how to help my kid sleep (and yes, help myself sleep).

So. I put him down awake, with paci, happy..walked away and let him cry for 10 minutes. came back in, soothed him without picking him up, walked away for another 10 minutes..you get the picture. He wasn't screaming bloody murder...just crying.

after only going back in twice, LO was asleep. He just needed to know his cries weren't being ignored, and that someone was there but that yes, I intended for him to be in bed and yes, I intended for him to go to sleep there.

Since doing this, LO will often go back down awake in the middle of the night with no rocking and no crying at all. Some naps he will cry for the first 10 minutes, I'll go in and give him back the paci and kiss him, walk away and he's asleep within minutes.

So for all of you who think this can't be done: IT CAN. Your LO can learn things faster than you can even imagine, and is certainly intelligent enough to understand your intentions upon placing them in the crib. I think we highly underestimate our children and their ability to understand what we want them to do.

Flame if you will, but I'm telling you...it really helped my LO understand that his crib is safe, that he's there for a reason, that sleeping is comfortable and safe and desirable, and that he doesn't need to cry every time he wakes up. It has worked wonders.

Suzy12345

No flames from me.  I read and commented on some of your previous posts.  When you're at the end of your rope, sleep training is a better alternative than a momma who is frustrated and sleep deprived and stressed out with a limited and disinterested support network.

Glad it worked so well for you and LO!

alybookgirl

I love you for posting this. I have been sleep training since 2.5 months (my pedi suggested starting at 2 mos). DD CAN self soothe and has been since she was 2 mos old. I believe that if you have met all their needs (fed, clean diaper) sometimes babies just cry. We don't leave DD screaming in her crib but she does go down drowsy but still awake and has since she was 2.5 months. You absolutely can sleep train your child before 4 mos without emotionally scarring them. AND babies CAN learn bad habits (sleep habits like where they sleep and how they fall asleep) very early on (I hate when people post that babies can't learn bad habits). Anyway, I totally agree with you and am glad you posted this. I was too chicken to admit that I did CIO early and my baby is very happy and attached with no abandonment issues.....and she sleeps 11 solid hours EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

bellaleanne

Suzy12345:

No flames from me.  I read and commented on some of your previous posts.  When you're at the end of your rope, sleep training is a better alternative than a momma who is frustrated and sleep deprived and stressed out with a limited and disinterested support network.

Glad it worked so well for you and LO!

Thanks for the support. I try to think of it less as sleep training (because God knows I EXPECT him to wake up in the middle of the night, and to need comfort), and more as teaching him to view sleep in a healthy way.

OCMom2009

Your little guy is adorable and I have major respect for you doing it as a single mom. I can't imagine.

It sounds like you found a really good solution and I'm glad it's working for you!

jackie.couturier

no flames here.  I waited until 4.5 months, but starting earlier might have actually been easier.  We're still struggling with naps.  

alatchaw

I'm REALLY glad you found something that works for you so that you and baby can get some rest! I think that this whole CIO thing gets so misconstrued around here. Obviously we would never let our babies scream bloody murder for an hour or ignore their needs, but sometimes an overtired baby is going to fuss before going to sleep!

EJDIII

No flames, but for me it is not working so well. We just started trying CIO @ 5 months and LO is not a happy camper. The first time we did it he cried for 45 min (we went in and soothed him at 5-10 min intervals)-at that point I gave in and picked him up because it was breaking my heart. Last night he cried for a half an hour. I guess it is a little better-but it still breaks my heart. He cries really hard-especially after we come in to soothe him and leave again. I don't know if this will work for us. Right now I don't know what else to do. 

Purplehayzes

EJDIII:

No flames, but for me it is not working so well. We just started trying CIO @ 5 months and LO is not a happy camper. The first time we did it he cried for 45 min (we went in and soothed him at 5-10 min intervals)-at that point I gave in and picked him up because it was breaking my heart. Last night he cried for a half an hour. I guess it is a little better-but it still breaks my heart. He cries really hard-especially after we come in to soothe him and leave again. I don't know if this will work for us. Right now I don't know what else to do. 

My LO seems to cry worse, too, if I go in and try to just soothe him by shushing and patting, so I always end up picking him up and rocking him.  I want to try CIO, but I don't know if I have the willpower to let him cry for 10 minutes straight.  But, it's looking like an option that I might have to try...rocking a 15.5 pound baby for up to 45 minutes sometimes is getting pretty tiring.