Telling Family Members of Induction Date?

easmith850

We are set to have our baby and have set up a date to induce in case baby decides to take his time to get here.  My husband and I have decided not to tell anyone (with the exception of our bosses, because we will obviously not be at work).  Now I have started to worry about upsetting our families.  We don't want to tell them because we know that they will be at the hospital before we would even show up and want to be involved.  I really just want to be able to rest before the actual labor starts and know that I will not be able to because of visitors.  We have a wonderful family that is extremely supportative but their feelings get hurt very easily. Is this wrong?  At what point should we tell people?

krissyh21

Induction can take hours upon hours, so if you rather not have visitors, I would not say anything. You have to do what is best for you and your family at this time and put everyone elses feelings aside.

We made it very clear who would be allowed at the hospital and who was not. Sorry but the last thing I needed was my MIL there in the labor room with me while I was having painful contractions. It was bad enough when my H was talking to me. 

If you can not say "hey, I am getting induced but would rather not have visitors", then I would not tell them until you are at 9cm LOL

laurel_howeth

I would wait, we told people and they drove me bonkers! Tell them when your about to push... lol that's what I wish I had done.

bhawk0527

Not sure how far away your parents and whatnot live but we called when we were like 7cm because they wanted to be there when DD was born.

fwiw I was scheduled to be induced at 4pm on Thurs and then they had too many babies born that day so they couldn't induce me until Fri morn (I had low fluid so they couldn't send me home) and if it wasn't for family visiting I would have been bored watching hgtv all day haha

GL with your induction!!!

amoureux

Inductions can be very long depending how favourable your cervix is. Mine was 46 hours....

We went in at 8 am on Friday for an induction due to GD.  I was barely a fingertip dialated. Had cervidil inserted and was monitored for 3 hours before being sent home until 8 pm.  At 8 pm they checked me again, monitored me for 2 hours and then sent me home.

8 am Sat we went back as requested.  Baby born Sun at 6 am by -section.

If people had been around that entire time I would have lost my mind. Plus my labour did not go well which does change my perspective. By about 10 am on Sat there was no way I could have had visitors - I was not very lucid.

Personally I would tell them but tell them NO ONE is going to be in the labour room.  Then if you change your mind you can always call and invite them to visit.  Use the nurses too. They have no problem being the bad guy from what I hear and clearing people out if they know that is what you want.

Nicole731

We told our family our induction date and included that we'd let them know when they could come up to visit. I didn't want any one there, not even my mom. We called everyone when the baby came and told them they were welcome to come visit at that point. Everyone respected our wishes.

My FIL did say something like "Oh, you're getting induced Thursday at 7am? I will be there at 7." I just laughed and said "Uhhh, no. We'll give everyone a call when they can come up" and that was that.

jmartin10105

I can tell you that my DH and I wanted no one at the hospital before LO was born.  My DH's family is so overwhelming that I knew I would not be able to rest or even feel some what comfortable if they were there and I had to entertain them.  I had to be induced on a Monday without notice and we didn't have LO until Wednesday night that week.  We called and told our parents and begged them not to tell anyone else and that we would call when people could come up.  Thankfully they respected our wishes and there were a few of his family who couldn't understand why we didn't want anyone there but they got over it as soon as they saw our little guy.

If it were me I would not tell people.  If there is someone like your mom or his mom that you would want there tell them at the last minute so they don't really have the time to call anyone.  GL!

Jerseygirl16

If they are that sensitive that they will be hurt by your wanting to be with your husband only during labor then won't they be even more upset when they find out later that you didn't call them and had an induction? 

I was very clear right from the start that labor was between us and nobody else and that if they wanted to be in the hospital waiting room that was up to them but they would not be hanging out with us in the L&D room.  I had inductions the first two births and my family was told ahead of time and were fine with it.  But, even if they hadn't been they would have gotten over it. 

The first birth everyone was super excited and wanted to be in the waiting room.  I allowed only my and DH's parents into my actual room to say hello when they first arrived but kept each visit short and they were gone before anything started happening.   DH went to visit the in the waiting room off and on until I started to get closer to delivering but mostly he stayed with me.  It was a long day (13 hours) but they waited it out and were there to see us when we were wheeled out with baby.

I would sit them down and tell them that you are having an induction and don't want to hide it from them but also be clear about what will happen that day and how you want it to be only you and DH.  

HappilyScotts

I was afraid of hurting our families feelings too, we told everyone the date but I made it clear we didn't want anyone there until I had been in active labor and we had an idea of when DD would be here. I had to flat out tell my grandma she couldn't come. I could tell it hurt her feelings but she got over it, they won't even remember it after they see the adorable baby you just delivered . Trust me the last thing you want to do is have people in your room while you're sitting in a puddle of fluid after they break your water. I had my DH call everyone when I got to a 4 and the Dr. said we would have a baby in a couple of hours. And the biggest reason I'm glad we didn't have anyone else there, it was nice to have those last few hours with DH that it was just the two of us and enjoy the little time left of having DD all to ourselves.

Arcadia1114

I, too, was induced due to GD.  My ILs started making the four hour drive to my house the morning of the induction in spite of our insistance that it wasn't needed.  They sat around our house as LO wasn't born until the next morning.  What is your hospital's visitor policy? Mine was very strict so
I could blame them for not allowing visitors.  I also told everyone that if you weren't at the conception don't expect to be at the delivery.  Good Luck!

FraggleRockin247

If you don't want people there, just don't tell them.  If they're hurt, too bad.  They will get over it.  We didn't want anyone there, had a scheduled induction and the only person who knew was the one dog sitting for us.  I could have told my parents when we were going in and had them leave us alone, but ILs are not the same way so we kept everything fair.  Though my parents were aware that they would not be getting any info, we just avoided the topic with ILs, I even told them to stop calling to see "how everything was going" in the days leading up to the event.  DD was born at 1:03PM, we started making phone calls around 3:30.  I'm really glad we didn't share the date because due to short staffing they pushed my induction back a date, and believe me I would NOT have been in the mood that day to call people and let them know it was pushed back.  I just wanted her OUT!  The only person who said anything about not being informed was BIL, but he just called us weird.  I say keep it a secret, I am so happy I did!