If another parent hugged your kid at daycare....

xbrooklyngrl

So I have a question, if another mom at daycare, who you don't know, gave your child a hug or held them, would you be upset? Would it bother you?

I have a few kids that run to me as soon as I come in to get B. Well, there's a new little girl and as soon as I come in, she's been coming to me, arms up, tears in her eyes saying "up". So, I give her a hug. Yesterday, I picked her up, she wouldn't let me put her down. DH says this is NOT ok. I probably would be weirded out if I knew some strange parent was holding my kid too. WDYT?

 

MelandJeff

It would not bother me at all. I would love the fact that my child is getting additional affection from someone kind.

SaraSmile

Nah I think it's fine.

breezee_bean

I am not bothered by something like that in that setting. 

kittycarr

I have mixed feelings too.

minnasmommy

as long as the child initiated it, I'd be ok with it...I think.

amiamish

I would be a little weirded out...

ETA: I'd be weirded out by them HOLDING him, hugging I'd be ok with.

There's a few kids that come to me when I pick DS up, I just pat/rub their back and say hi, then shift all my attention to DS.

I remember when I worked in daycare, the other parents were not allowed to hold someone else's child, I had to ask a couple parents to put a baby down. (very awkward.)

EliseB0323

Hugs are nice. I probably wouldn't want another parent picking my child up though.

xbrooklyngrl

that would be awkward ami! This girl is just so cute, I felt bad leaving she was crying and holding onto me

I do have other kids that just run up and give me hugs or talk to me, I usually don't pick them up, she kind of climbed on me as I knelt down to talk to her and Brooke.

suzymarie

I always did it when DS was in the infant room.  If a baby was crying or asking for "up" how could I say no?

Technically I think it was against the rules, but they didn't mind as long as it was ok with the other parent.    It never bothered me- I love the thought of DS getting picked up and held as much as possible.  Of course my opinion may have been different if any of the other parents were creepy weirdos but I assume you are not

joseysbride

It wouldn't bother me.  But our kids go to a small daycare and I personally know all the other parents.  I give all the kids hugs quite often.

butterbeansmama

I think that is soo sweet. I would have no problem with someone hugging/consoling ds. It's nice to know that people care.

katie277s

Well, I am guilty of that too.  There are kids who are grabbing my legs, wanting me to pick them up.  I usually get down in my knees, say hello and give them a hug if they ask. 

KoriBrett

I've done it, I'm sure others have too.  They go to an in home though.  Sometimes the kids attack any parent who walks in - hard to say no while being climbed on LOL

SMHWife

When DD was in a home daycare, I had kids climbing all over me when I would pick up Delaney.  I have no problems with it at all.  Now that DD is in preschool and there are far more kids in the classroom, it never happens.  But if DD was comfortable enough with one of the moms to have them give her a squeeze or something, it wouldn't bother me. 

Jaylea

The other parents know my DD better than I know them. They see her every day.  I know I love the other kiddoes. I wouldn't think anything of any of them giving DD a hug.

 

Brewster

If my kid initiated it, then no, it wouldn't bother me.  If the adult initiated it, then yes, I would not like that. 

sweetie1528

a quick hug is ok, but not holding for a while.

FriskyPanda

DD would not like it if I picked up another child, but I have gotten down on their level to comfort another child before. If her teachers are trying to do something I can't just let a child cry. I don't see anything wrong with it.

winomom22

It wouldn't bother me at all. DD loves attention so she would love it. I have hugged/held other kids at daycare if they come up to me crying or plop themselves in my lap to read them a story.

swanstdl

Sounds like a sweet, sensitive and kind gesture.

CleoKitty

It's pretty sad, IMO, that there are people who would be offended by a quick hug and/or hold from another parent who sees your child on almost a daily basis. I don't understand- why so guarded?

amiamish

CleoKitty:

It's pretty sad, IMO, that there are people who would be offended by a quick hug and/or hold from another parent who sees your child on almost a daily basis. I don't understand- why so guarded?

a quick hug I'm ok with. But if my child is sad/upset then the teacher needs to console him. IDK- I just wouldn't like walking in to see someone else holding my kid....

xbrooklyngrl

I don't know if offended is the right word. When DH brought it up, I said I could see how maybe that would make me feel a little funny, but I am "guarded" and paranopid to say the least.

But, I think I'd be ok with it, like most people pointed out, I'd be happy someone is consoling my child and I know my DD runs to the other parents to say Hi or whatever just as other kids do with me.

And yeah, Ami, the teacher wasn't consoling her at all. She was telling me a dumb story for 5ish minutes while I just held the girl. And when the girl kept trying to climb me or hug me after, she did nothing then either until I pointed out that THIS is why I'm not good at drop off. I can't leave someone elses child upset, let alone my own.

 

femmegem

Hugs or holding wouldn't bother me. Especially if my child initiated it.

goodheartedmommy

I agree with cleo.

amiamish

xbrooklyngrl:

 

And yeah, Ami, the teacher wasn't consoling her at all. She was telling me a dumb story for 5ish minutes while I just held the girl. And when the girl kept trying to climb me or hug me after, she did nothing then either until I pointed out that THIS is why I'm not good at drop off. I can't leave someone elses child upset, let alone my own.

 

aw that sucks! the teacher should have tried to take her from you to relieve you (since it's not your job) and comfort the little girl.

And "offended" isn't the word I'd use either. It would just have me feeling funny-and questioning why the teacher wasn't helping my child. I guess I am "guarded" when it comes to DS, I never really thought I was though.

xbrooklyngrl

yeah, that teacher kind of sucksass so I am not surprised. Actually when I got there she was trying to sell how wonderful she is to a new parent and said "oh, Marina, tell her how great I am with the kids" I just pretended I didn't hear her. She is not my favorite AT ALL

hikerbeth

Totally not bothered by it.  I come to expect it based on the dynamic in our small preschool. . . everybody knows everybody else.

Yodajo

femmegem:

Hugs or holding wouldn't bother me. Especially if my child initiated it.

ditto!

winery

I think that's sweet.

I would be so upset if someone my child saw everyday (you) declined to hug my child when they asked for it. 

lizard76

Doesn't bother me a bit!  I have pretty much held, hugged, or at least joked with most of the kids at my son's daycare.  He's at an in-home place and it's a fairly tight-knit group.

Goose51504

Ditto Cleo. I wouldn't have an issue with a hug or them being held in a daycare setting by someone else. Hell, I'm guilty of doing both on a regular basis at my kids' school.

Scooter359

Mason is no where near this, but I think if I saw another mom holding him I would be a little upset or weirded out. A pat on the back and some attention is fine, but I dont think id like another mom picking him up.

EMT

If it was you X, not bothered at all.  Anybody else, GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY KID .

I think I would like it that DD felt comfortable enough to go up to another adult...she tends to be very shy and would only do that with somebody she has grown comfortable with.

xbrooklyngrl

aww thanks EMT, I'd totally cuddle those kids of yours.

LOVE that new pic by the way.