Did I do anything wrong?

PenelopePond

I just want to see if I did anything wrong before I say something to DH.

 

DH and I had an argument tonight.  Well more like I got upset and he refused to talk to me about it.  Now I can't sleep.  I go out on the couch to watch TV but nothing I want is on.  Is iPod touch is sitting on the coffee table and I decide to use it to go online since I'm too lazy to go to the computer.  Turn the iPod on, open the internet, and hello naked asian chick with fake boobs and a fancy design in her pubic hair.  Now I know to some people that's no big deal, but I'm stupid and overly sensitive.  The argument DH and I had was about how I can't really tell that he likes me anymore or that he finds me attractive, and we never have sex even though I start it.  This is the iPod he disappears in to the bathroom with for a half hour at a time because (sorry) he's "pooping.'  Now I find this stupid picture and I'm even more upset.  I bet he's going to say I was snooping, but I wasn't.

HRALFS

No, you did nothing wrong. And Yes you should be pissed. JMO though

MrsJY

I don't think you did anything wrong. If I was in your situation and felt DH didn't find me attractive, I'd be upset too.

PenelopePond

Thanks

mrsxoxo1598

i'd be PISSED too! you have every right. now, go and tell him! lol. j/k, but seriously, i'd be mad and hurt.

PenelopePond

I am hurt.  I'm in the spare bedroom/computer room/DS's room crying and he's in our room sleeping.  It's so not fair.

prettipenny

I'd be upset too.

sgrl

I know the "cool" thing is to say that porn is no big deal and it doesn't bother you, but I think in the situation that you're in, where your (as in, you and the husband) sex life isn't where you want it to be, you try to talk to him, he won't talk to you, you feel unattractive, and then you stumble on naked asian chick? I can totally see how you're upset and I don't think you did anything wrong - you weren't scouring his history or anything.

I'm sorry you're having a bad night. 

PenelopePond

sgrl:

I know the "cool" thing is to say that porn is no big deal and it doesn't bother you, but I think in the situation that you're in, where your (as in, you and the husband) sex life isn't where you want it to be, you try to talk to him, he won't talk to you, you feel unattractive, and then you stumble on naked asian chick? I can totally see how you're upset and I don't think you did anything wrong - you weren't scouring his history or anything.

I'm sorry you're having a bad night. 

Thanks

PreggieMeggie

You both say "asian chick" like it's a bad thing and goes hand in hand with being "naked"...maybe it's late and I am sensitive to racism, but it kind of pisses me off.

mariec77

What I would do is wait til morning and go to his itouch  in front of him and get on it so he thinks u JUST stumbled upon it.  Dont wake him up just going off on him because that wont solve anything... trust me..LOL
You did not do anything wrong.... and I totally understand where you are!! Once he sees that you saw it. Then ask about it.... cus then it is on the table.
If you go at him when he wakes up then he is going to take the defensive automatically and accuse you for snooping. As innocent as it may be!

I have an itouch as well and I take it to the potty too because I play games on it. LOL
And most of the time its the only ME time I have!! LOL

 

Good luck honey!!!

Mrs.DeliaMarieP

MrsJY:

I don't think you did anything wrong. If I was in your situation and felt DH didn't find me attractive, I'd be upset too.

same here

MrsWanee

MrsJY:

I don't think you did anything wrong. If I was in your situation and felt DH didn't find me attractive, I'd be upset too.

this!

erindawn

Go ahead and be angry.  I think you should use this as a "jumping off point" to start the conversation.  Be accepting- tell him it's normal to have a sex drive and that while it was hurtful to see this image, what you really want to do is have a calm conversation about your sex together, not his porn.  Porn is just porn.  We all have secret fantasy lives, to me that's no big deal.  I would just tell him you'd like to be a part of his sex life too and figure out, together, how to get things back on track.

Good luck~

gumiberg

I dont think you did anything wrong, but nor do I think this alone is reason to be upset.   I would be more upset over the fact that we was refusing to talk about whatever you guys were fighting about.  I dont mind my DH masterbating but I do mind him refusing to communicate it with me.  The latter is a lot more damaging.

jennaglardon

I have a similar situation. My BF has porn on his computer. I know because I was on his laptop (with his permission) and I saw it in the URL. I said something to him about it and he said yeah, i look at it because you never give me anything. Okay, Im sorry. I just had a baby! Forgive me for being tired since you dont get up with him in the middle of the night. So, he turns it around on me and makes me feel bad.

gwenypher7

No, you didn't do anything wrong.  

I think the part of it that hurts the worst is that you already don't feel like he's attracted to you - and now to find that pic, it doesn't help matters.

I have felt similarly since being pg. I initiate and DH turns me down ALL THE TIME. I haven't gotten the nerve to talk to him about it yet - I guess I still hold onto the stupid belief that men are supposed to be all over their women - and women aren't supposed to show that they have a sex drive! Silly, I know.

PenelopePond

PreggieMeggie:

You both say "asian chick" like it's a bad thing and goes hand in hand with being "naked"...maybe it's late and I am sensitive to racism, but it kind of pisses me off.

 

I'm sorry about that.  I really didn't mean to be offensive, I wasn't thinking.  DH has always had a thing for asian girls, and this was a hot asian girl...which makes me wonder how we made it far enough to get DS.  It just makes me feel a lot more unattractive.  Again, I'm really sorry.

TarponMonoxide

Your bigger problem: not the dopey porn photo but the fact he won't have sex with you. THAT is the issue you should be upset about.

Myna

PreggieMeggie:

You both say "asian chick" like it's a bad thing and goes hand in hand with being "naked"...maybe it's late and I am sensitive to racism, but it kind of pisses me off.

Nope, I disagree. She didn't come across as racist to me at all.