If you don't mind... I would like to post here a bit...

roxyttandme

I posted here last night (https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/30189049.aspx)wondering re: if I have PPD, PTSD, or just mourning the loss of my daughter (although my therapy thinks PTSD).

Regardless, I think I am suffering some type of clinical depression. For a long time, I was posting on TTCAL - but, sense we are not actively trying yet - that doesn't feel like the right place for me right now either. Perhaps when we try again- I will go back to that board as well. In the mean time, I was hoping I could hang out here for a while. I had a baby (although she passed) and as a result I am depressed... does that make this board the right place for me? I am not sure- but hoping...

For the past month or two, I have been much more tearful than even the month prior. You would think that with time I would in part heal ... and in the begining that was the case. However, that is no longer; I can feel myself slipping into a depression. I cry at least 3 times a day now. The triggers may be a song on the radio, a broadcasting about Haiti, a child in wheelchair, seeing my pg neighbor pull her car into her garage... it just doesn't take much for me to think of my daughter- the suffering she endured and sulk in my self-pity and depression. It is a dark world that I live in.

DH doesn't seem to be suffering the way I am. He see's me cry and makes comments like: "are you going to cry forever? Are you going to be sad forever?"  When he makes comments like that - I just don't feel his support. He thinks of our daughter a couple times a week- I think of her a couple times an hour. We are just not on the same page.

Thanks for letting me ramble... I hope I am not a downer here....

 

itsspykitty

I can't open your link but post to your hearts content! I just kind of crashed this board last night? Maybe 2 nights ago? We can both be board crashers together. 

I don't think PPD fits into a "box" I believe the emotions, range and situations can run the spectrum and you should find a sub board where you feel comfortable.

 

Aerochyck

Feel free to crash.  There is no definition for PPD and since it can occur long after baby is born then you may be right!

I didn't know that antepartum depression existed until I was diagnosed with it when I was PG with DD, so anything is possible. 

madhatter2003

Feel free...heck I"m here with 2 toddlers, but the emotions you are feeling are very real, and very valid.

TommysGirl56

You are certainly welcome here.  I am so sorry about your loss.  I cannot imagine how things must feel, but I would think you are justified in continuing to mourn.  Have you seen anyone about how you feel?  If you haven't, I would suggest trying that.  Maybe counseling with your husband would be helpful, too, so that you can both express your feelings.

Come back to pour out your emotions whenever you need.  The ladies here will always be ready to listen and offer plenty of support!

((HUGS))

EnglishMajor03

You are more than welcome!!  I noticed from your post last night that you posted on TTCAL and wondered if you were already trying again.  To be honest, I'm glad I was wrong.  It doesn't sound like that is something you're ready to take on.

I'm sorry your H isn't being as supportive as you'd like.  If my H asked me if I was going to cry forever I'd say "yes".  DD#1 is 2 1/2 years old and I'm still mourning the loss of the life we expected for her.  I can't imagine moving on from a loss so soon.  

I may be overstepping, but do you think your H is just pushing his feelings down? 

At any rate, I think you should definitely continue with therapy and maybe even do couples therapy.  This is an incredibly stressful situation and can't imagine how alone you both must feel at some points.