Sharing a shower? — The Bump
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Sharing a shower?

Has anyone had to share their shower with a sibling?  My sister is due around the same time as me. It will be her 3rd but we are having a shower for her because her last baby was 9 years ago and she doesnt have anything for this new one. The shower will be my first and only one.

I am torn over if it is a good idea to have 2 seperate showers or one big one for both of us. All the same relatives would be invited to both so in that case it might be a good idea to have 1 shower.

However, my sister has a bunch of friends to attend hers and since I live out of the area but friends will not be attending mine.

Also since this is my first and only shower ( no more kids after this) I kinda would like to experience my own shower and not have to share.

I am curious what others thoughts on this is or what they did if you had a similar situation. Thanks!

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Re: Sharing a shower?

  • If I were given the choice by whoever is hosting, I would choose to have my own.  If I were your sister, I would not want to barge in on your only shower.  However, it might be hard on your guests to make it to both showers.

    I guess look at who is hosting and what they are offering and look at your potential guests and try to determine if they would go to both.  If my relatives who were siblings were having separate showers kind of close together, I would be glad to go to both personally, but it really depends on people's schedules and how far they would have to travel.

    All that said, if you have to do combined showers, it could still be a lot of fun, and you should still get plenty of attention. 

  • First, I would want my own.  Second, I think it can be awkward for the guests.  if they know its a duel shower, they may feel they have to buy both of you a gift, which isn't really fair. 

    If your guest lists were identical, I might say not as big a deal.  But if they aren't- do seperate.

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  • There should only be one shower since there's only one first-time mother - you.

    That said, if your sister is actually going to go along with this idea for her to have a shower, they should be separate.

  • image EastCoastBride:

    If your guest lists were identical, I might say not as big a deal.  But if they aren't- do seperate.

    This, if the guest list is the same I think its easier on everyone to do 1.  Are inlaws going to be invited?  in that case the guest list would be different 

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  • You deserve your own ;)  But if you do end up having a shared shower, maybe keep it just family?  And maybe you have a friend that could throw you your own separate shower with people you and your sister don't have in common?
  • Even though there are 9 years between her kids...she had her shower with her first one and she is no longer a "first time mother" which is what showers are for.  I would definitely want my own shower.  Also, it would be awkward for people coming.  Her friends that don't know you would feel obligated to bring a gift for you as well.  On top of that, many people who went to her first shower all those years ago would probably spend less on a gift for her than they would for you...since you are a first-time-mom.  Those are my feelings anyway.
  • I would prefer to have my own shower. Is the same person hosting both showers?
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  • If you want your own shower I see nothing wrong with it....except you do need to be considerate of whoever is hosting the shower. It would be tacky to go to the host and say you want your own if they didn't offer. My second shower (aka "sprinkle") was combined with my sister's because we share so many friends and had already each had a baby. It was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed it.

  • I think you should have separate. And I won't state my reasons, because they're pretty much the same as everyone who posted above me.  Big Smile
  • My SIL is due three weeks after me and we are having 2 combined showers. This to me is not ideal because neither one of us is going to get our own time to shine. I was actually hoping to host a shower for her and now I don't get to be part of the planning for her little one. However, I greatly appreciate that people have offered to shower us so I can't complain and am just happy to be showered.
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