Announcing pregnancy on FB at 6 weeks?

OCIrishBruin

I just went on FB and my cousin just did this.  It's #2 for her, so I guess she's not super worried, but geez.  That's EARLY.  She just found out about my m/c too.  It must be nice to feel like this stuff only happens to other people.

sevenonesix

I did this. I honestly had no idea that it was smart to wait until after 12w. No one told me, no one stopped me. I had no idea. It was the biggest mistake I made during my pgcy b/c then I had to take it all back and explain everything. Sometimes I still have to explain things and say things like "uh. yeah. we're not pregnant anymore..."

 

*sigh* I wish I would have known 

klk2klb

I announced early (not on FB) and have been regretting it ever since.  Some people just have to learn a hard lesson and if she can stay in blissful ignorance, then good for her.  I wish I could be there again.

OCIrishBruin

natoshacooke:

I did this. I honestly had no idea that it was smart to wait until after 12w. No one told me, no one stopped me. I had no idea. It was the biggest mistake I made during my pgcy b/c then I had to take it all back and explain everything. Sometimes I still have to explain things and say things like "uh. yeah. we're not pregnant anymore..."

 

*sigh* I wish I would have known 

Oh hun.  I'm so sorry you had to go through that.  It's like taking a knife every time you have to explain it to another person.  (hugs)

sinisterkat01

I had a friend who did this at 7-8 weeks.  I was just cringing every time I heard her talk about it to a new person, and thinking how naive!  It turned out that she had a m/c at 12 weeks, and I guess she has now joined our sucky club, never to be naive again.  I felt terrible, like I should have warned her, but no one wants to hear all the doom and gloom at first.  It's only natural.

denise_m

With my first loss, we didn't announce it until 8 weeks, after seeing a healthy hb.

 

Then, I had to untell.

 

So, with the second loss I was going to announce it until like 14 weeks, healthy hb and all that jazz.  But, some people guessed, started rumors and it led to so much IL drama that it almost wasn't worth it.  The stress and the turmoil was too much for me.

 

So, next time, I will probably announce early.  Given the option of announcing early and having to untell, again, and get more of people's opinions on WTF is wrong with me or deal with IL drama, I chose the first.

firefightersgal

I was an early announcer, also.  It was my second pregnancy, and after all of my IF issues, I thought we were golden.  I never, ever dreamed I'd m/c.  While it was painful to have to un-tell people, I really feel like everyone's support helped me get through the worst of the emotional pain of my m/c.

If I am lucky enough to get pregnant again, I think I'll announce early to the people who supported me through the m/c.  If (God forbid) I were to m/c again, I'd need the same shoulders to lean on.   

triple_sevens

My husband's cousin did this, announced her pregnancy the DAY she got her BFP. Un-freaking-believable. Of course, she's now 8 months pregnant (not that I'd wish otherwise for her).

We planned to wait 12 weeks to tell, and will probably do the same thing next time. But I am bummed that we waited to tell my parents until after things started going south. I would have liked some happy times with them before we lost the baby.

vlewis515

Guily as charged! My hubby and I both announced at 6 wks on FB right after we got our positive test. No one in my family ever had an m/c and I didn't know anyone else (or thought I didn't) that had. Had to make our "We lost the baby" announcement a week later. Given the chance, I'd probably do it all over again, but that's me and I'm an open book. I had a coworker tell me I shouldn't announce it early (when I just had) in case something happened and I told her (in an annoyed tone) that I'd rather my friends and family know what was going on then try to pretend nothing had happened. But that's me and how I handle things, everyone's different. 

dondraandluis

It must be nice to be so naive. I hope it stays that way for her.

Heidisean

firefightersgal:

I was an early announcer, also.  It was my second pregnancy, and after all of my IF issues, I thought we were golden.  I never, ever dreamed I'd m/c.  While it was painful to have to un-tell people, I really feel like everyone's support helped me get through the worst of the emotional pain of my m/c.

If I am lucky enough to get pregnant again, I think I'll announce early to the people who supported me through the m/c.  If (God forbid) I were to m/c again, I'd need the same shoulders to lean on.   

This exactly. We announced early with #2 because we had NO problems at all with getting pregnant or having dd and then whamo...3 mc's since. People don't understand until they experience a mc themself. I don't look down on them because they really don't know any better if they had no problems the 1st time. Live and learn. Even my 4th pregnancy we didn't tell everyone until 11 weeks with 4 healthy US with growth and a strong hb and then I mc'ed a week and 1/2 later. You never are really out of the woods and then I had to untell people again.

lindsay.lou

DH & I are SUPER private people. We weren't going to tell with #1 until 12w (m/c at 8w and SO GLAD our families didn't know).

Now, we've both agreed we aren't telling until it's so obvious we have no choice.

KristinaA620

I'm sorry! I am one of the people who announced it to my family and had the m/c a week later. I was glad that I got to enjoy a very short time with my family & friends support. We haven't decided what we will go about PG #2 yet.. Probably wait until we hear a hb..

TravelinMama

I did this with my third pregnancy and fist m/c.  After having two healthy children I was so ignorant to think that it couldn't happen to me.  Guess I was wrong.

Meghan1017

I was an early announcer...not on FB, and really not by choice either, it's just hard to keep it a secret when I started turning down H1N1 patients (I'm a nurse).  The untelling is the WORST, especially the people you haven't seen in weeks who run up to you and grab your belly and squeal about how cute it is....yeah...not a baby, just a lot of cheeseburgers.

Stupid b!tch I went to high school with just announced on FB at 6 weeks.  I hated her before, but I hate her even more now that she's KU.  I'm so freaking jealous.  If she makes one more post about how sick she feels, or "ewww, icky breastfeeding!" I'm going to scream.  Not even funny how jealous I am.

Like some of the other posters said, next time I'm not announcing until it's physically undeniable.  I will be crowning before I say anything to anyone.

CLoughry22

we didnt announce to anyone, except a few people at work so I could stay away from xrays....and then I had my mc, and I called my mom to tell her and she was a jerk about it. She said, if you are expecting support from me maybe you should have told me in the first place. It was horrible. I don't know what I will do the next time I hopefully get pregnant, I will have to pray about it and see where God takes me.

lax15bsu

CLoughry22:

we didnt announce to anyone, except a few people at work so I could stay away from xrays....and then I had my mc, and I called my mom to tell her and she was a jerk about it. She said, if you are expecting support from me maybe you should have told me in the first place. It was horrible. I don't know what I will do the next time I hopefully get pregnant, I will have to pray about it and see where God takes me.

I had a very similar reaction from my mom, since we had not told her we were pg with our first. I really really bites when you call looking for support from the one person who should give it unconditionally... And get that. I'm so sorry your mom did that to you.

With my second, my mom and gramma both knew I was KU before I got a bfp. And I announced on fb around 10 or 11wks, I think, after three u/s and perfect growth and hb. That one ended so suddenly at 14wks, and I was glad for the support.

Only close family knew about the third.

I honestly don't know when I'll announce on FB next time. I'm very open about our losses... But I just may have to play it by ear when I do get KU again.

jennaanddan

When we got KU, I was nervous about telling people right away.  My DH convinced me to tell our parents and his siblings.  They all told others so pretty soon everyone knew.  I never formally announced on FB, but there were obvious comments on my wall about it.  When we lost it several weeks later, then began the process of un-telling.  Luckily, my parents and DH's parents were really good about passing on the news for us so we didn't have to deal with it too much. 

The hard part now is having people not even acknowledge the fact that I was pregnant a month ago.  Christmas was awful.  Ignoring it doesn't mean it didn't happen and that it's not written all over my depressed face. I'm hoping it's just because they don't know what to say and don't want to make me sad, but it just makes me feel like they don't care.

Next time, we'll tell our parents earlier, but wait until 14w before telling everyone else.  At least we'll have the support from someone if we were to have another loss.

karing2

Happens all the time with me.  Actually the day  I miscarried a friend announced that she had just POAS and it was positive.  But she is happy with a newborn right now.  grrrrrr!

 

michrocc

This. I also second PP who said that they'll just tell the people who supported them during/after m/c.  I have, like, two people who did that.  They'll the only ones who'll know next time until I can't possibly deny it any longer. 

 ETA: Sorry, this was directed at the poster, above, who said she'd wait until she couldn't wait any longer. 

pepomntpat

I announced at 7 weeks and had to give the bad news at 9 weeks. Honestly, I'd do the same again.  My attitude will be (if we are so blessed) as it was then, "I'm pregnant and I love my baby and I want the whole damn world to celebrate with me."  They mourned with me as well when I had to share the bad news.

I also have never understood the term "untell." I was pregnant and I shared that news. My child died and I shared that news. "Untell" makes me feel like I told a lie which I didn't.

jumagirl

I am bothered when people say, "you shouldn't tell so early in case something bad happens."  There is NO SHAME in having a m/c.  We've done nothing wrong.  However, I agree that it's not always best to share the news early b/c people can say some very insensitive and hurtful things.

Our plan is to share the news early with people who would support us through another m/c if it should happen again.  Our parents are not on that list.  Others will know around 15-16 weeks or whenever I "pop."   

SweetieD21

That is way early!  I didn't announce it until 13 weeks, but then had to tell everyone about my m/c at 18 weeks.  I've learned the hard way that their is no "safe time".

sunshine610

lindsay.lou:

DH & I are SUPER private people. We weren't going to tell with #1 until 12w (m/c at 8w and SO GLAD our families didn't know).

Now, we've both agreed we aren't telling until it's so obvious we have no choice.

This. We were going to tell my parents on my mom's birthday and I just couldn't get the words out. In the car on the way home I started bawling and told DH it was a sign that something was wrong....two days later I started m/c. I am sure some people think this is weird but I am SO GLAD they never knew. They would have been devastated, and we had a hard enough time holding it together and helping each other without having to worry about comforting our family too.

Next time I am going to hold out telling everyone except my sister as long as possible. Maybe I'll just wear tents for 9 months and then call people on the way to the hospital.