Jodi

emilykristene2006

What did you think about Kitty's post about BCP's?

Are you on the pill? I'm wondering if some of my issues could be controlled with BCP's again. I went off right before starting to have kids and that's when I got on this crazy train.

Maybe my body needs the hormones or something? I'm going to talk to my GYN about it in January.

 

Jodi&Joe

I was  freaking looney looney lunatic when on BCP.  Actually, the spiral downward really started when I had the molar pregnancy (before getting pregnant with Joey).  I went back on BCP for that year (had to wait a year to TTC) and they were making me freaking NUTSO!  Like suicidal nutso.  So I went off them and went on the patch.  And entered therapy --- for the 3 time in my adult life.

So I don't know that they would help.  Actually, quite the opposite.

Honestly, I think my therapist was on to something when she told me "There is no magic pill Jodi!"  And I think, for me, A LOT of it is mind over matter.  I take the easy, lazy way out --- and I LET myself rage/yell/mood swing. 

That's not to discount the fact that I have depression/bipolar/OCD, etc in my family.  My direct family.  And not to discount my effed up upbringing's impact on my lack of coping skills --- but I think I just need to decide if I'm going to be healthy or not.  It's up to me.  I have to do it. 

emilykristene2006

Good for you! You sound like you want to do it (make the change) more today than a couple of weeks ago.

Lately, I don't realize I need to relax until the end of the day when I am replaying it all in my head. "Why did I freak out over something so stupid? I just need to relax!" I need to start the day off talking to myself. Wake up, look in the mirror and tell myself what kind of day I will have. I did this a few times last week and it really helped.

I also started doing something else. Whenever DH says something assey, I say outloud, " I cannot control the things that come out of HIS mouth, only my reaction." It kind of puts DH in check without me being a b!tch! But, I am also reminding myself I do not need to go nuts. I can't control him and I will not let him control me (by pissing me off, I feel like I am letting him control my moods).

Anyway, I read Kitty's post and remembered that I was on the pill for 13 years to regulate my period and to help with my moods. Hopefully, this is what will work. Ah, fingers crossed. Thanks Kitty for the post!