s/o Sex in HS - Masturbation

Judah'sMommy

Will you teach your children about masturbation?  As a normal part of life or as an alternative to sex? 

DH and I will definitely talk to J about masturbation, preferably before he starts doing it.  I think it is a normal and healthy part of life.  I would hate to have my baby coming down to breakfast feeling like a freak because of what he'd just done in the shower.  According to DH that's exactly how he felt, and of course at that point he had no idea that all of his buddies were doing it too.  He thought he was going to hell. 

MegGary

yes. I'll teach DD that it's ok to explore her own body & there is nothing wrong with giving herself pleasure.

nbjenni

Maybe I should reserve this for FFFC....

But I distinctly remember rubbing and thinking of My Little Ponies when I was like 5 or 6, always right before bed. It helped me fall asleep. My parents always taught us that touching our bodies was ok, just not to do it in public, or let anyone else do it either. I'll probably do the same.

KatieTheMagnificent

After growing up in a house where masturbation and sex were taboo topics, we will definitely talk to our boys (and any future children) about it.  My parents were so ... conservative that anything remotely sexual was a horrible, terrible thing that would send you to hell.  I don't want my kids to think that because they wanked it in the shower, they're doomed for eternity!

J+O

Absolutely.  I also remember a few times exploring my body and feeling shameful and that I was going to hell.  I wish someone had told me it was normal.

honeybeez

Anything to do with sex will be taught as a normal and healthy part of life. I don't ever want my kids to think of it as shameful. Also, they will be taught that they should wait to have sex until they find the right person and get married.

CFO

I remember thinking it was wrong.  Somehow in 4th grade I found a back massager, and well...  But I felt so covert about it, like it was bad.  I have no clue what we'll do w/ DD, will have to ask DH...

kelbrian

nbjenni:

Maybe I should reserve this for FFFC....

But I distinctly remember rubbing and thinking of My Little Ponies when I was like 5 or 6, always right before bed. It helped me fall asleep. My parents always taught us that touching our bodies was ok, just not to do it in public, or let anyone else do it either. I'll probably do the same.

I just peed myself. Seriously.

It'll be awkward for me, I think, because my parents never talked to me about it, but I'll definitely tell my DD that it's okay to touch yourself, just not in public, and that no one else should touch you like that.  

J+O

nbjenni:

Maybe I should reserve this for FFFC....

But I distinctly remember rubbing and thinking of My Little Ponies when I was like 5 or 6, always right before bed. It helped me fall asleep. My parents always taught us that touching our bodies was ok, just not to do it in public, or let anyone else do it either. I'll probably do the same.

omfg... lol.  I'm not laughing at you but me, but I seriously JUST recalled using a purple "squiggle" pens, uh... yeah down there.  I remember thinking something was wrong with me!  This is also my FFFC!  

Temp856430000003146

No. I don't think it's a normal part of life and we won't be teaching him it's ok. 

To each their own.  

CFO

tavia_martin:

No. I don't think it's a normal part of life and we won't be teaching him it's ok. 

To each their own.  

  You had a baby, right?!?!  Shocked.

ali-1411

Oh yeah, we've already had the conversation.  By 5 years old, DS always had his hand down his pants.  We told him that he should only do that when he's alone.  And don't ever let anybody else touch him.

nbjenni

J+O:

nbjenni:

Maybe I should reserve this for FFFC....

But I distinctly remember rubbing and thinking of My Little Ponies when I was like 5 or 6, always right before bed. It helped me fall asleep. My parents always taught us that touching our bodies was ok, just not to do it in public, or let anyone else do it either. I'll probably do the same.

omfg... lol.  I'm not laughing at you but me, but I seriously JUST recalled using a purple "squiggle" pens, uh... yeah down there.  I remember thinking something was wrong with me!  This is also my FFFC!  

Oh yes! I remember those!

Judah'sMommy

tavia_martin:

No. I don't think it's a normal part of life and we won't be teaching him it's ok. 

To each their own.  

I'm just going to say it: This makes me feel really bad for your son.

ali-1411

tavia_martin:

No. I don't think it's a normal part of life and we won't be teaching him it's ok. 

To each their own.  

BWAHAHAHAhahahahahahahah

You realize they start playing with themselves at like 4 years old, right?  How do you think you're going to stop it?

nbjenni

Judah'sMommy:

tavia_martin:

No. I don't think it's a normal part of life and we won't be teaching him it's ok. 

To each their own.  

I'm just going to say it: This makes me feel really bad for your son.

And your husband. I bet he hates having to hide wanking off.

Monkeybuttwhat

I am working on getting DH to talk to his son. He has been humping things and having wet dreams. I think it is that time. DH thinks he is too young but I think the wet dreams are scaring him and DH should talk to him about it.

JessMil10

nbjenni:

And your husband. I bet he hates having to hide wanking off.

But... but... my husband surely doesn't do this. 

mabst196

tavia_martin:

No. I don't think it's a normal part of life and we won't be teaching him it's ok. 

To each their own.  

Intersting. I guess I am just suprised that people don't find masturbation normal.

LondonBridges

I think DS will appreciate this message coming from DH more than from me, but we certainly plan to teach him that it's perfectly normal/healthy to explore your own body.  I'll want him to know it's something you do in private though and that nobody else should touch him in that way.

Buckets of Moonbeams

tavia_martin:

No. I don't think it's a normal part of life and we won't be teaching him it's ok. 

To each their own.  

Oh, honey.  You are missing out on so much.

Anyway, yeah, we're big on masturbation 'round the Buckets household.  We'll definitely teach the kiddos it's perfectly healthy, normal and a lot of fun.

nbjenni

JessMil10:

nbjenni:

And your husband. I bet he hates having to hide wanking off.

But... but... my husband surely doesn't do this. 

Now you know why his socks are always sticky!

jk

mabst196

I will tell my children that it is normal and fine to do privately. My parents never talked to me about it and I was thought it was very a shameful thing growing up.

Sawyerplus1

Judah'sMommy:

tavia_martin:

No. I don't think it's a normal part of life and we won't be teaching him it's ok.?

To each their own. ?

I'm just going to say it: This makes me feel really bad for your son.

Seriously, did you ask what other peoples approach would be with their own children, or did you ask for everyone to agree that your way is the only and best way to raise their children??

Buckets of Moonbeams

nbjenni:

JessMil10:

nbjenni:

And your husband. I bet he hates having to hide wanking off.

But... but... my husband surely doesn't do this. 

Now you know why his socks are always sticky!

jk

Has anyone ever seen the movie Baseketball?  The line "fucking_ the sleeve of his favorite jacket..." has always, uh, stuck with me.

LaLaSweets

MegGary:

yes. I'll teach DD that it's ok to explore her own body & there is nothing wrong with giving herself pleasure.

Sounds good. I never even thought about having to give this talk

kelbrian

mabst196:

I will tell my children that it is normal and fine to do privately. My parents never talked to me about it and I was thought it was very a shameful thing growing up.

I thought it was shameful as well, and that makes me really sad. I also didn't realize that it wasn't normal when other people touched you, because no one told me. The man who abused me told me that it was normal. I believed him. I was eleven. It didn't make me feel good, but I thought that because he said it was normal, no one would care.

I think it's very important to talk to your kids about masturbation and about boundaries. Exploration is a very normal part of growing older. The kids that I nanny for were not told that it's not appropriate to do this in public, and the little boy was touching himself in front of me and pulling his pants down and doing that. I had to tell him while red faced that it is only for when you are in private. I still need to have a chat with his parents.. That'll be a blast. 

 

Monkeybuttwhat

nbjenni:

Maybe I should reserve this for FFFC....

But I distinctly remember rubbing and thinking of My Little Ponies when I was like 5 or 6, always right before bed. It helped me fall asleep. My parents always taught us that touching our bodies was ok, just not to do it in public, or let anyone else do it either. I'll probably do the same.

Jenni this made my day! 

KatieTheMagnificent

I'm surprised that someone said that masturbation's not a normal part of life.  How is it not?  Self-exploration is completely healthy and normal.  

And with that said ... if I didn't know how to get myself off, the first two or three years I was having sex would've been enough to make me celibate.  Seriously.

preg_amy

nbjenni:

JessMil10:

nbjenni:

And your husband. I bet he hates having to hide wanking off.

But... but... my husband surely doesn't do this. 

Now you know why his socks are always sticky!

jk

HAHAHA!

Seriously, though, Tavia... you're missing out.  And so is your husband (or at least he's pretending to miss out).

I learned about masturbation from a book that my mom bought, but never had the courage to give us.   I snooped in her room and found it.  Of course, by then, I had already been doing it and just didn't realize it.

We (mostly DH) will teach DS about masturbation and touching.  I will especially be talking about it if I have a girl, because I think a lot of adolescent girls know that guys do it, but don't realize it's okay for them to do it too.

Judah'sMommy

Sawyerplus1:

Judah'sMommy:

tavia_martin:

No. I don't think it's a normal part of life and we won't be teaching him it's ok. 

To each their own.  

I'm just going to say it: This makes me feel really bad for your son.

Seriously, did you ask what other peoples approach would be with their own children, or did you ask for everyone to agree that your way is the only and best way to raise their children? 

They don't have to agree, but I always reserve the right to think someone else's view is stupid and say so.  And in this case, I think she is doing her son a serious disservice.  That's my view, and she's welcome to feel sorry for my child as well. 

Monkeybuttwhat

There is this book I saw that I would have killed to have when I was 12. It is called Just for Girls -  A Book about Growing Up

It is about periods, masturbating, hair, all the stuff like that. My friend and I saw it and were like OMG if only we had had that as kids. All the questions answered right there you're too embarrassed to ask.

KGsky

Ughhh...this is sooo not a conversation I want to have, even though I agree that it's normal, and they shouldn't feel bad, etc...  I'm a wimp when it comes to "the talk."  Whenever my parents talked to me about sex I was seriously grossed out.  Of course, they also had some antiquated notions about how "only dogs lick each other 'down there' and sex--ahem--can be pleasurable..."  ew ew ew ew!  I want to be very matter-of-fact with the kids about sex, but I'm not looking forward to this.  I'll add this to my list of hot topics (no pun intended) to cover with them.  The "no one else should touch you" convo is really important, though, and should happen probably as early as 3-ish (maybe late 2's)?  THAT one, I will not avoid.

princess28

One night DD was in her room, and when I walked in she said..."Mom, I just can't stop touching myself down there.  It just feels sooooo good."  After I regained consciousness, I told her that it was ok and normal to do in private. 

 

I almost died that night...

ToledoDeux

tavia_martin:

No. I don't think it's a normal part of life and we won't be teaching him it's ok. 

To each their own.  

Hope you've started a therapy account for him.

femmeftle9

Yes, I will be the one to talk to my DD and tell her that it's normal, no shame, just a private thing. We'll probably do this talk over a couple cappuccinos, a little shopping, driving, total "Mom & me" day.

My DH is weird though, I've never caught him in the act... in fact I feel like he avoids doing it. I guess that's why he tries to hump me practically every.single.night. I don't care either way, he's a very private person, BUT I do fret if our next child is a boy how this topic is going to be approached.

LoriFalce

Really, Tavia?

It's a biological thing. We know that it happens all through the natural world. Even whales masturbate, for crying out loud.

Joseph will be taught that private things are fine, but are for private times and places only. Which is why the Little Bill episode about "Private Time" makes me do a spit take every time it comes on.

 

Momma.Brown

i just wish there were a nicer technical word for it. man do i hate most technical terms related to genitalia (there's one) and sex (that one isnt too bad). they all just sound so....hard. no pun intended.

and ftr, i am not a prude, we'll have this talk among others. i just want prettier words for when i tell her its no big deal. (yes, i do realize how contradictory my dislike for the words are vs my feelings on the subject.)