I need a reality check here...

Heather1979

So Dh's family has Hanukkah weekend 12/12 & 12/13.

LO will get her 2 month shots on 12/10 when she is exactly two months old. She is getting her 2nd RSV shot this Saturday.

I am still uneasy about going, mainly because there are 2 18-month olds there on Saturday, a 13 month old there both days, and a 4 year old on Saturday who I always hear about one of them being sick. Plus there are +20 other relatives who will be there Saturday, adn about 10 different relatives Sunday.

So DH insists we go and not quarantine her, but that we keep her in her car seat and/or her bouncer and not let anyone hold her or touch her. I say good luck with that, it's going to come down to me being a *** all weekend to people. I'm afraid this is going to make me really resent DH in a bad way, and I know I'm not being totally fair to him (I'm assuming he's not going to help enforce the rules since he's been lenient about things in the past).

Bottom line, I am very uncomfortable with going. If we don't go, I know there's going to be fallout with Christmas and my family- but I still say there's a HUGE difference between having 4 family members (all adults) at our house and +20 adults + several children in daycare being around...

I can handle it, am I being stupid? Thoughts? Suggestions?

 

lemen99

I think you need to do what's best for you LO, and as hard it might be, not worry about everyone else.  You might irritate some family, but they should understand that you need to keep your daughter healthy.  If they don't, well then don't worry about them!

Mommy2Gav

Do you have a wrap or carrier? For ds's first Christmas, I had him in the moby the entire time so no one could touch him and the snot nosed kids couldn't even get near him.

msalinardi@live.com

Heather1979:

So DH insists we go and not quarantine her, but that we keep her in her car seat and/or her bouncer and not let anyone hold her or touch her. I say good luck with that, it's going to come down to me being a *** all weekend to people. I'm afraid this is going to make me really resent DH in a bad way, and I know I'm not being totally fair to him (I'm assuming he's not going to help enforce the rules since he's been lenient about things in the past).

Bottom line, I am very uncomfortable with going. If we don't go, I know there's going to be fallout with Christmas and my family- but I still say there's a HUGE difference between having 4 family members (all adults) at our house and +20 adults + several children in daycare being around...

The EXACT same thing happened when we brought my LO home. DH has a HUGE family...like 65 people and this is just aunts, uncles and cousins. He INSISTED that we take her to meet his family one week after she came home from the NICU. He said it would be a small get together, which turned into about 35 people. I was flipping out the whole time. There was no way I could tell him that no one could pick her up and have him or them listen, so we bought 4 bottles of hand sanitizer and placed them around her and I sat gaurd and if anyone went to touch her they had to use the hand sanitizer first and if they picked her up there had to be a blanket between them and her. It turned out fine and everyone was happy (I was stressed, but glad I wouldn't have to hear about it for the rest of my life)!

jdiaz79

Personally, I would not be comfortable with that situattion, but you need to do what is right for your family. It does sound, however, that you are not comfortable with bringing her. I am sure family will understand that your LO's health comes first. If you do decide to go though, a wrap/carrier would be a great idea! 

franciscaz

We are going to skip out on Thanksgiving it looks like for this reason.  I say do what is best for your LO!

lstaylor73

I would not go.  It's just one or two years of missing these kinds of events but trust me when I tell you you do not want the alternative possibility, a hospital stay. 

TriciaJoy

I would absolutely, positively not go. IMO, you and right and he's deluded.

Rachel&Joe

i think that is insane.  i almost had a stroke just reading your post.  i think your DH needs to learn a bit more about protecting a preemie during rsv & this awful flu season because he does not sound very informed if he thinks that kind of get together is OK.  i DO NOT CARE about insulting people, having people think we are being overprotective & crazy--i just want to get my LO through the winter without ending up back in the hospital.  luckily, my DH is just as protective about her & her health as I am.

Heather1979

I'm glad I wasn't made out to be paranoid here... Your responses just fortify my feelings about this.

 

Shayna0182

Hey you have to do what's right for her.  It's your child, if they can't understand why it should only be you and dh holding her, when there's a roomful of people in cold and flu season, then to heck with them.

here4u

I wouldn't go.  We didn't take DD anywhere last winter.  Your not going to enjoy yourself if you go anyway, b/c you will too nervous if you let someone hold her or if someone sneezes, or coughs near her.

At1stsight

I agree that you need to do what you feel most comfortable with, but is there a middle ground between going all weekend and not going at all? Perhaps you could go for just one dinner and make DH explain AHEAD OF TIME to his family that you all are only coming for the dinner b/c it's important to minimize DD's exposure during this flu season? If he's not willing to lay this out ahead of time with his family, then you don't go at all. If it's that important to him that you go, then he'll step up with this upfront warning and you won't be the 'bad guy' when you never take her out of your Moby/Baby Bjorn/etc.

twh2006

I agree with previous posts. That's nuts.  I feel so incredibly blessed that DH are on the same side with all of this. He'll be home in a couple of weeks (maybe sooner ) and we keep discussing all the stuff we need to do before our self imposed "lockdown"! Because once Lennon gets home I'm not leaving that house, or at least he's not until this spring after RSV season.  We are in New Orleans so instead of missing just two major family holidays, this will cover Mardi Gras as well which is a huge holiday here. But I could care less, they will have plenty of time to see the baby later.

gymrat

I wouldn't go. We seriously had friends and family who did not meet my babies until their 1-yr birthday. That's how careful we were.