BFF too much? (FFFC)

AbsoluteLM

I've posted before on how my BFF has been acting a bit strange, saying that she'd like to drown her sorrows in the birth of my baby, saying with glee "people will think we are a lesbian couple" while helping me register at BRU, always kissing and touching my stomach, etc.

Well, yesterday she came out with another whammy: she says "I feel like this baby is somehow mine too."  When I mentioned that I wouldn't be calling her to come to the hospital until hours into the process she also said "but it is my job to be pacing the halls." (I thought that was DH's job??)

DH is kind of scared of her at this point!  Lol.  But I feel like a horrible person for not being appreciative of her excitement and instead feeling uncomfortable.  I've actually been thinking of ways to not ask her to be the baby's godmother... eek.  Am I a horrible person or do you agree that things are getting strange?

wnk1029

Yeah, a little odd.  Is she normally so clingy and touchy-feely?

2plus4

I think that is VERY strange. I would be a little uncomfortable around her.

Jen&Louie

She KISSES your belly?  Maybe it's just my own personal boundaries but, that sounds bizarre.  The only person that kisses my belly is DH.  His mom did it once and I had to have a boundary discussion with her...not okay with me. Touching is one thing but, lips off please!

It's nice that she is supportive of you but your description is sounding pretty over the top for a friend, IMO.

AbsoluteLM

wnk1029:

Yeah, a little odd.  Is she normally so clingy and touchy-feely?

She's really not ever like this.  To be fair, though, she is the last to be single amongst a group of girlfriends and is not taking it so well.  I just don't know how to balance me feeling uncomfortable with wanting to be a good friend to her!

AbsoluteLM

Jen&Louie:

She KISSES your belly?  Maybe it's just my own personal boundaries but, that sounds bizarre.  The only person that kisses my belly is DH.  His mom did it once and I had to have a boundary discussion with her...not okay with me. Touching is one thing but, lips off please!

It's nice that she is supportive of you but your description is sounding pretty over the top for a friend, IMO.

Yes, I am totally uncomfortable with the belly kissing!  I'm not very touchy feely except with DH, so this is weird.... perhaps I just need to be straight forward and say something to her about it.  Scary!

nikalina

That sounds a lil creepy unless she is always this clingy.  Weird. 

frf1537

It sounds like you have the same BFF as I do. She drives me up a wall. When we had the date scheduled for my c-section/induction she was all like "I wish I could take the day off to me there" I just straight forward said to her "There is absolutely no reason for that, the only one in the room with me will be DH and my mom (if we have an induction). She said she wanted to watch the birth and I told her no way. When Jocie failed her BPP and I had to go back a couple days later for another the only response she had was "Awesome, I have Friday off so I can totally go with you and see her". I just told her flat out that they would probably be doing internals as well and I didn't want an audience, and it wasn't exactly a good thing that Jocie failed even though I got an extra ultrasound.

I would say that you have to be honest with your friend now before LO is here about boundaries. I have already explained to ppl that we aren't calling anyone until we are ready for visitors and we are asking that people don't go overboard with kissing her (my BFF has said repeatedly that she is going to "kiss the fire" out of my daughter and DH put his foot down). It may hurt her feelings but it is better to have the discussion now about what you feel is appropriate than to get in an argument in the hospital or first days home. Maybe your hospital will have a "no one but family" rule put in place before you deliver like mine did for H1N1.

KimberlyJean

This kissing my belly would totally weird me out - I'm not sure what she's up to. My MIL kissed my belly once too and I was like "whoa" in my head, but I didn't say anything at the time. I am just hoping I can get this LO out before she tries it again.

I would be bothered more by the "I feel like the baby is mine too". That's a freaky statement. My MIL calls LO her baby, which I correct by saying "MY" baby, but at least she has a grandparent connection to the child. Your friend saying that is really odd. It would totally creep me out.

AbsoluteLM

frf1537:

It sounds like you have the same BFF as I do. She drives me up a wall. When we had the date scheduled for my c-section/induction she was all like "I wish I could take the day off to me there" I just straight forward said to her "There is absolutely no reason for that, the only one in the room with me will be DH and my mom (if we have an induction). She said she wanted to watch the birth and I told her no way. When Jocie failed her BPP and I had to go back a couple days later for another the only response she had was "Awesome, I have Friday off so I can totally go with you and see her". I just told her flat out that they would probably be doing internals as well and I didn't want an audience, and it wasn't exactly a good thing that Jocie failed even though I got an extra ultrasound.

I would say that you have to be honest with your friend now before LO is here about boundaries. I have already explained to ppl that we aren't calling anyone until we are ready for visitors and we are asking that people don't go overboard with kissing her (my BFF has said repeatedly that she is going to "kiss the fire" out of my daughter and DH put his foot down). It may hurt her feelings but it is better to have the discussion now about what you feel is appropriate than to get in an argument in the hospital or first days home. Maybe your hospital will have a "no one but family" rule put in place before you deliver like mine did for H1N1.

I'm so glad to know I'm not alone!  I'm definitely going to everyone's advice and try to set boundaries now.