Response to PLEASE STOP - maybe a new board on the bump?
Let me start off by saying I am sorry we are all going through this -
Now, I do not disagree with you regarding those that are wondering about mc'ing on there but where are those of us suppose to turn
when we are in limbo and need support. We are not trying to make it
worse for those that have had a mc - just looking for answers.
I officially joined this board last week with an official d&c and tubular pregnancy but I also noticed that no one was answering my posts when I did not know if I would or not - I find that interesting. It is not my fault that I have a beautiful 16 month old and it is not my fault that I just had a tubular pregnancy.
Maybe you should suggest to the bump that they create a "I might be miscarrying board"? There are clearly people who need it! I did.
Just a suggestion.
Re: Response to PLEASE STOP - maybe a new board on the bump?
I am very sorry that you are going through a loss.
I know when I first found out I was possibly going to miscarry (which I did), I went to the first trimester board. I can't really say if I would come to this board or not because I didn't know it existed. Maybe they can create a board with medical related questions about pregnancies? I'm not really sure....
That's what the tri boards should be for. Also the title of your suggested board is a question that should only be answered by a doctor.
I just said this in the other post, but I have no problem talking to someone who has reason to believe that their pregnancy might be compromised. But I don't provide advice in situations that I'm unfamiliar with--which might explain why you didn't receive replies to your particular situation.
when i first joined this board, i wrote a letter to the bump critical of the lack of information and support/resources in regards to pregnancy loss. with the support of a lot of the ladies on the board at the time, the bump gods heard us and created more articles regarding loss, and posted the FAQ's on the front of this board.
i remember making the comment "it is very hard for women who have been through a loss to comfort women who are pregnant and afraid of having a loss." i suggested that perhaps this board could have moderators of at least a "go to" person (or people) who could be available to answer those "what does this (spotting, loss of symptoms, etc) mean" or "could i be miscarrying" questions. obviously that never happened, but that doesn't mean that it cn't happen in the future.
perhaps if the ladies on this board banned together and petitioned for another board (pregnancy fears?), the bump gods will listen-- they have before!
No one is going to click pregnancy fears and no one is going to hang out on that board to answer their questions.
They already have too many boards as it is--I think that's half the problem here. Everyone tries to push everyone off to another board and no one ends up with a landing place.
i would suggest...
1) polling the board to find out what popular opinion is. this way when you do approach the bump gods, you will have plenty of "back up" and you'll know where the majority of the ladies opinions lie. some of the poll options could be to have another board, to have moderators to this board, to leave everything alone, to include more resources and articles outside of the boards, and of course-- other. and/or some combination of the above.
2) pm'ing NestAnni. i also emailed and got an initial response from kstanford@theknot.com who was listed on the bump contact page. let them know that you see a need and was inquiring if there was a way to address that need. show them the poll as a support, and invite them to post on this board and get more opinions from members.
good luck!
this i agree with. they will always post here.
They do have a place for pregnancy fears...it's call your OBGYN office.
;-)
i suggested that perhaps this board could have moderators of at least a "go to" person (or people) who could be available to answer those "what does this (spotting, loss of symptoms, etc) mean" or "could i be miscarrying" questions. obviously that never happened, but that doesn't mean that it cn't happen in the future.
Hell no. That's what a doctors office is for. No one should have to answer those kinds of questions, nor are we trained to answer them. No way.
I think people will post here no matter what. The "please stop" post won't stop somebody from posting tomorrow. They will never see it.
I also think that I got the support I needed from the 1st tri board when I first found out that I might be miscarrying. That's where people should be posting.
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -Philo
Baby N conceived after 1 miscarriage and more than 2 years of TTC. Diagnosis was low sperm count. We found success after 3 months of anastrozole to increase DH's testosterone and one IUI.
Some charts
I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good-looking. I'm not attractive. - Happy Gilmore
It is your fault and how dare you selfishly shove your baby in their faces. (please note sarcasm)
What's not your fault is that some women apparenlty cannot deal just be happy for another woman despite her own issues.
What's not your fault is that some women apparenlty cannot deal just be happy for another woman despite her own issues
Are you freaking kidding me?
really? really!?!? i think this board has enough REAL LIFE drama then bringing this crap up.
you cannot bully people into answering your questions. maybe no one knew the answer. or MAYBE NO ONE IS A DOCTOR AND FELT COMFORTABLE TELLING YOU THAT YOU WERE OR WERE NOT LOSING YOUR BABY. how the f would they know?
this is a board for people going through a loss. to help people who have suffered a loss find support. no one here is a doctor and not every experience is the same.
wtf are you doing going to a message board to try to find out if youre losing your baby?!?
seriously.
call your doctor.
Who would post on a "you might be m/c board"? Noone. Few people get stuck in that maybe/maybe not stage. The reason noone responds to those 'am i?' posts is because we dont know. And we can tell you our story, but it wont be a happy ending. And you know what? I am bitter. And I will probably give a horriably bitchy answer telling you that you are infact having a m/c... when truely, I have no idea.
Im sorry people get stuck in that limbo land. But alot of people come one fishing, and go on ot have completley normaly and healthy pregnancies- thats the stuff we are complainning about. And should someone actually end up belonging to this board- everyone is beyond helpful and supportive.
I've been on this board for a year, and have found the most amazingly supportive women on here. And everyone on this board is currently going through a m/c, or recovering (mentally or physically), but I dont expect them to have the patience, or desire to respond to those types of posts.
-m/c at 11w2d due to partial molar 2008 -m/c #2 2009
Beautiful daughter born February 2011
**Ultimate TTCALer 2009**
Agreed!!!
Lame....