Tyler qualifies for EI :-(

Cutemin

Tyler had an early intervention evaluation this morning.  He is so all over the board.  He excelled in many ways but is lacking many more.  According to their tests, he just barely misses the mark of qualifying for services, like he scored 79 when you qualify at 78 and under.  But since he scored like this in every area, they felt that as an individual, Tyler should have services.  They stayed a long time doing more tests and questions trying to get the paper work to show he needed services.  The scores and his behavior seemed strange to them, like they just couldn't figure him out.  But overall they felt his main area of concern is in his emotions.  And his inability to self regulate his emotions his spilled into every other area of developement.  They asked questions going back all the way to a newborn, and it is all significant.  They recommend that he goes to a special EI school in the city three days a week.  I don't know how I feel about that yet.  But I also have the option to have specialists come to our home two days a week.  And they want me to change pediatrician to one that specializes in children that require intervention.

I really thought that they were going to come in, say Tyler was fine and that I was just being paronoid.  Now that it is kind of 'official' that Tyler has these emotional issues that it appears he was born with, why he never slept, cried ALL THE TIME from the moment he was born, I am really sad about it.  I was actually holding back tears as they told me their review.  I am also feeling relieved that someone actually understands what I have been going through with him and validate that his behavior isn't and has never been normal.  I feel frustrated that no one ever listenened to me and always told me his behavior was normal.  I feel guilty that I never pressed harder or sought out an eval. on my own.  And while they said my approach to a lot of his issues is exactly how I should  handle them, I still can't help but feel I fail, or screwed up somewhere.  I am so drained right now.

MelissaSue81

Oh no! I'm sorry you got that news. I would be sad too.. but there is a lot of upside to it.. for one, you have some "validation" like you said.. that its not just "normal" or "paranoia".. and also he can get help!

I do not think you have failed at all.. It stinks that no one listened to you all this time.. and I can tell you are a GREAT mommy and love that little boy more than anything! He's only 2.. its not like you've been letting this go on for years and years. 

day194

First, I'm sorry you are going through this.  I know how hard it can be. My sister (who is 12 years younger than me) was diagnoised with a learning disorder at a young age. 

On the upside you are catching this very early and can do a lot going forward to help Tyler learn to cope.  You now know where Tyler excells and now can try to figure out how to play up his strengths. We were able to do this with my sister and now anyone who meets her does not know she has a learning disorder.  She is a junior in HS now, and always makes the merit roll if not the honor roll.  She just has to do things in a way that works for her and in general it takes her longer to get things done. To get to this point has taken a lot of work on her part and I also have to credit my mom as she has really been a great support to my sister.

I think you should be proud of yourself as a mother.  You kept fighting for your son, which is now why you know what the problem is.  Keep being his advoct and keep fighting for him.  And when something doesn't feel right to you get a second opinion.  You're doing exactly what you should be, and Tyler is lucky to have you as a mom.

fenwaygirl5

I just wanted to let you know that in my eyes getting services is not a bad thing.  I am a certified teacher and I taught 3-5 year-olds for a number of years.  I would always recommend having children evaluated to all parents of children in my class.  There was an agency at three of my schools I was in that would bring a whole team into my class to evaluate students.  The parent would sign papers to have their child get evaluated.  If a parent did not want their child evaluated they did not sign off. I always told my parents if it comes back where your child needs services it is not a bad thing.  The children are so young and sometimes with the services a child may not need services once they reach elementary school.  Some parents would worry about their child feeling like they were being singled out if they had to leave the room to receive the services or if the teacher, therapist, or the adult was in the classroom working with the child.  The people that came into my room to work with the children were wonderful about including other children in the activities or if the child was pulled out they got to pick a friend with them to go with them and their teacher.  I told the parents children at this age do not even realize that the adult is here just to work with one child.  The children think that the teacher is there for everyone.  I hope this can make you feel a little better that services are not always a bad thing and that any child that receives them will greatly benefit.  All of the teachers that came in and out of my room had great communication with the parents and myself. 

AlbanyMommy

Take it as a good thing since you caught it so early.  I know it's a lot to take in at once, so just breathe and let it set in a few days.

 

I personally would not change pediatricians.  Your pediatrician can work with the EI people just like anyone else.  Our pediatrician deals with our daughter's Asperger's completely and has been more of a help than anyone else.  Talk to your pediatrician first.  Also, really look at the qualifications of the developmental pediatricians in your area.

 

((HUGS))

abba916

I sorry Mindy and I understand the range of emotions you are feeling right now...but I agree with PP- you should feel validated that you were right and you know your child and now you can get the services he needs and make the right adjustments...

::HUGS:: 

mrsoc

I am sorry that you are going throught this, but it is great that you and they are addressing these things now.  Tyler is lucky to have you for a Mommy!!