Why did this upset me so much?

johannaknip

I work in admissions at a college. One of my new students is 19 and has a beautiful baby girl. She brought her to every appointment and every time she came in I wanted to curse the world and cry. Today was class start day and as I was walking her up to class she showed me her daughters new professional pics. They were beautiful and I told her so. She offered me one, which I graciously (I hope) accepted. Then I came down to my office and cried to myself. I feel like a hateful hag because it's not this poor girls fault I lost my baby. And she doesn't know I had a m/c 4 weeks ago. Sometimes I want to wear a t-shirt just so people will take all their gooey-happy feelings and shove them up their arse.

Wow. That is so not like me, but I feel much better.

Swede25

johannaknip:

just so people will take all their gooey-happy feelings and shove them up their arse.

I am so with you on that one.  I'm sorry that situation upset you, but it would have upset me too.  I feel like everywhere around me, people are talking abou their babies and I just want to yell, "shut up! shut up!" 

Cow-girl

I understand how you feel.  Even 5 months later after losing baby Grace I cant look at baby pictures.  Its awful..  I have twice said to people who were showing me baby pictures "You know I just lost my baby girl a couple months ago so baby pictures are hard for me to look at.  No ill feelings meant, its just hard for me and please respect that"  I hope that isnt rude, but its really hard to look at and go goo goo ga ga over pictures of a baby that was never wanted to begin with.  *sigh*

summerbee1

agreed 110% with PPs. I want nothing to do with babies right now. I think that is ok, it's only been 4 weeks.

Just had an acquaintance come up and tell me that his GF is pregnant and due in March. (I was due 3/3/10). When I told him that I had also been pregnant and was due in March, he said, "I know, so-and-so told me." WTF? Then why do you come up to me and the first thing you tell me is that you are expecting when you KNOW that I just lost one????? Instead of saying, "Hey how are you doing" or "Hey I am sorry," nope, brag about your own damn fertility. Sounds logical. 

I know a lot of the time it is unintentional, but I also wish I could wear a shirt so that people would just back the eff off. 

Seamonkey88

Im sorry....its so rough being out in "normal" society with strangers and acquaintances who dont really know whats going on in your life. I hate feeling like I need to have a happy face on all the time when around people that Im not really close to, but yet also feeling like they "expect" me to be a mess......I dont know its random and confusing. Le sigh...

 And I dont know what it is but I swear the population of pregnant women and newborns seems to have tripled lately...they are everywhere!

GlowingintheCity

I know, it's really hard.  I have 3 extremely pregnant coworkers I see all the time, and 3 close friends that JUST had babies...... and I see and here about them all the time.  No one knows about our pg or m/c, so DH and I are just polite all the time and happy for our friends, but inside, it does sting.  I think it's to be expected.