Would this bother you?

mabelanna

So, DS started going to a new in home daycare about 4 weeks ago.  He has been a total of maybe 8 times since then (I work part time) and I really like her, but I got this email last night:

"Our daycare parents are welcome to come on in and take a minute to visit every now and again There are some that visit everyday and there are some of you have not had a visit in a while and I want you to know you are more than welcome to I do want to ask that parents do keep visits to every now and again. A daily  visit is too much and does take too much time and supervision from the other kiddos in our care. For the most part drop off and pick ups do need to be timely so that again  not too much time and supervision is taken from the other kiddos in care. And again every once in while feel free to come on in, stay and visit, but outside of the visit , drop offs and pick ups do need to be timely.  "

 Totally unedited...cant decide what this really means, but I know I am pretty ticked off by it.

When I drop him off, I go in with him and tell him bye (2-4 mins).  I also make small talk with her as I dont know her very well, yet.  In the afternoon, I go in, help him with his shoes and again, 4-5 mins of small talk. 

I think I am most bothered by this b/c I want to be able to come in her house and look around and see what my child did all day.  Also, with the previous lady that he was with (for 2 yrs)  it was not uncommon for me to go in and spend 20-30 talking and playing.

Thanks and please let me know if I am over reacting to this!

kevschickee2

Maybe she has parents who stay for ever and you know what when that happens it does mess with their schedule.  I am an assistant director for a family daycare system so I can see it from the DCP standpoint.  Drop off and pick up can be chaos and when parents stay esp if their child is crying it can make it worse.  She isn't saying you can't come but she is saying for the sake of the kids don't draw it out.

shopgirl_07

I'm guessing that there's one or two parents who are going in a lot and monopolizing her time. I doubt she's bothered by your 5 min at drop off and pick up.

She doesn't seem to be discouraging visits at all but, she's right, she can't have parents there all the time staying for 30 minutes or more. I wouldn't be bothered by this at all.

summerbrideDC

No, it wouldn't bother me. ?

DandelionMom

It doesn't sound like you're the person she's talking about.  If you think she is, you need to directly ask her if she feels you stay too long.  If she says no, you don't have to change anything.  If she says yes then you need to decide if this daycare is the right fit for you or not.

But no, this wouldn't bother me that much. 

CleoKitty

Her request is 100% reasonable, IMO. Spending 20-30 minutes at your daycare provider's house each afternoon at pick-up time is totally too much time and disruptive. By the end of the day the daycare provider is tired and needs to be able to focus attention on her own family, starting dinner, winding down her day, cleaning up after the daycare kids, etc.

Spending a bit of time there once in a while is fine, she's just requesting that it not become a regular everyday thing. 

summerbrideDC

how many kids are there? ?If you're making 4-5 minutes of small talk with her and every other parent also expect 4-5 minutes of small talk, that's a lot of time taken away from the kids she's taking care of. ?

Sounds to me like she's got a few parents who stay too long. ?Doesn't sound like you're one of them, but I'm sure this is her way of avoiding confrontation with those who do. ?Seems reasonable to me; she's running a business.?

stacynikki

It wouldn't bother me.  Only because I try to make drop off as quick as possible.  If I stay longer it makes it harder on him and he gets upset when I leave and then the teacher has to deal with the aftermath.  When I pick him up I do make a point to talk with his teacher about his day but I keep it short because I understand she still has other kids to tend to.  I think that's all she's trying to say.

Temp108743750006959

regarding how poorly it was written: idk. I'd get over it if I liked her and trusted her as a DCP.

She's trying to be nice. She's trying to say, "please don't stay for 10 years" so it might not be directed at you. there might be that one parent that never leaves and maybe its easier to address all parents so no one feels singled out.

but if YOU feel there is something funky about it...time to look for a new DCP.

neesernicole

I think the message just sends mixed signals.  First, she wants you to visit, then she limits on how much you can visit.  Maybe I need to read it again but it was clear as mud to me. 

I don't think she was trying to offend but if you read between the lines enough I think it means: come in, visit, keep it brief (if needed) and move on b/c the care of the kids is #1 priority.

 

Angela814

Keeping the drop offs and pick ups brief wouldn't bother me. What would bother me is not being able to visit during the day. Maybe that's just a difference btwn an in home and a center. I nursed DD on my lunch hour and stayed to play with her for about a year (3-15 months). I was there 45-50 minutes every day. It was never a problem. DD actually didn't count toward ratio while I was there. Plus I got to know the teachers better. I did stop going in when she got older and my lunch didn't line up well with the daily routine. I think the whole email was too broad and just went round and round too much.

suzymarie

I would not be cool with that.

 When I pick DS up I typically stay for 20ish minutes.  I think it is really important to have a bond and connection to what is going on in the classroom all day.  Typically in the infant room the baby teachers were happy to have an adult to make conversation with.  Now in the toddler room the teacher is busy, but the toddlers love to come and talk to me and I like to get to know the kids DS spends all day with.