Would you be upset? dh/me differ about event at daycare

FloF9

This is a little TMI

So my DH and I went on an anniversary getaway (4 nights) and when we came back home that afternoon, went straight to daycare to pick up the kids.  My sister had been watching them while we were gone, and dropped them off that morning. 

DD was on her knees crying (sort of doubled over) and couldn't even greet us and the teacher immediately came to us, greeted us and told us she seemed to be constipated.  She said she checked her diaper about 20 minutes earlier, and noticed DD was straining but nothing was coming out. So I picked her up crying and she was inconsolable.  I tried to put her in the carseat but she didn't want to sit down.  I checked her diaper and noticed a little bit of poop. I went back inside to get her changed and when I took the diaper off I saw the poop but the rest was inside.  So I was trying to break it and help her push it out - when all of a sudden it came out.  I mean it was HUGE.  Poor thing - she kept pushing until finally you know?  Obviously after she passed this she stopped crying and felt better.

My DH was FURIOUS that the teacher didn't figure this out.  I don't think it's her fault at all - she had checked earlier.  When a kid is constipated what can you do you know?  I don't think there was much that they could have done at this point?  What do you think? 

 

mrscrehan

I wouldn't have been upset - they did check...

On another note... how did you help her push it out?  That may come in handy for me one of these days!

FloF9

Well - the poop was half out - so I took a wipey and tried to pull it out as it was really hard. My hand was very close to her butt but it was grasping the poop, and I also very gently pushed it down towards the changing table and then gently upward.  It seemed to help dislodge it and then it came out.

FloF9

Also, I think the huge poop had a lot to do with my sister and what she fed them.  She is a very healthy person (brown rice, fiber, whole grain) ,etc... and I think she might have overfed her.  I mean I don't feed them crap but it was certainly a change in her diet.  My poor baby girl.

mrscrehan

Ah... I see.  Could you imagine talking about this pre-baby?  Hahaha - now it just seems so normal!

FloF9

LOL!  I agree - bowel movements are so important now.  Who would have thought?

Pesky

I wouldn't be -- odds are there wasn't anything there before, the teacher clearly knew what was going on but unfortunately there is nothing to do until she pushed it out herself.  Odds are good that certain rules and regulations prevented the teacher from doing much.  I would be pissed if it had been going on a while and teh teacher didn't call your sister.

FloF9

Pesky - that is exactly my thinking. 

mrsbookworm

I would be upset if I inquired and found out that the center did not call me or my sister to advise us about this constipation if it had been going on for a long while.  Obviously, the child was in pain.  Therefore, the center should have alerted someone in case a medical emergency ensued.

mrsbookworm

Perhaps I took it a bit far with the "medical emergency" possibility.  LOL.

luvmagoldn

That happened to Nicholas once.  He cried and cried and finally passed out asleep for a few minutes.  When he woke up he was able to push it out.

There really isn't much you can do until it's ready to come you know?  Plus, I have to say that I would have been VERY concerened to walk in and see the provider doing what you did.  I don't know why exactly... 

FloF9

Luvmagoldn - EXACTLY I think my DH would have REALLY been upset if he saw what we saw!!!! 

soccermom-to-be

My DD self-constipated after she had an accident at school.  She refused to go and then it got really bad and she doubled over in pain and cried 'I'm sick, I'm sick'.  After a week of this (we tried to adjust her diet to high fiber, water and some juice vs. rice, dairy and bananas) we took her to the doctor and he recommended Miralax.  It's a mild laxative that you mix with any liquid and it's tasteless.  We give it to DD when she hasn't gone all day and it works like a charm.  She doesn't cry or strain to push. 

P.G.&A.M.

I would only be upset if she was in pain for a long time and I wasn't called. Realistically the teacher isn't a doctor so she can't diagnose or treat constipation.

My DS was constipated once. Even as his mom it took me a little while to figure out what was happening. Glad your daughter is feeling better.

azuremama

I think doing what you did might go beyond the daycare provider's job description!  I'm glad your dd is feeling better, though.  Darn that healthy food! 

ABAMom

FloF9:

Well - the poop was half out - so I took a wipey and tried to pull it out as it was really hard. My hand was very close to her butt but it was grasping the poop, and I also very gently pushed it down towards the changing table and then gently upward.  It seemed to help dislodge it and then it came out.

 Was totally drinking soda while reading this and it started to come out through my nose!!

ABAMom

ABAMom:

FloF9:

Well - the poop was half out - so I took a wipey and tried to pull it out as it was really hard. My hand was very close to her butt but it was grasping the poop, and I also very gently pushed it down towards the changing table and then gently upward.  It seemed to help dislodge it and then it came out.

 Was totally drinking soda while reading this and it started to come out through my nose!!

The soda that is.....

abpdjs

i think your dh is so upset b/c he saw his baby upset.  you handled it fine. ditto pp, if she was inconsolable all day and did nothing or called one that would be one thing but that is not what happened.  i have heard of these things happening many times to little kiddos.  no biggie if you ask me.

EastCoastBride

Ok- wait - the teacher TOLD YOU she thought your DD might be constipated.  when she checked - 20 mins ago- she didn't see anything. 

What exactly does your DH think she didn't "figure out", and what was she supposed to do about it when she didn't see anything?  Assuming your DD isn't the only child at this day care, the teacher probably had other kids to be keeping an eye on too.  She could'nt just sit there and watch your DD's butt. 

And even if she did see something coming out - I do have to say that I think being expected to pull a childs poop out is above and beyond their job description!

But again- she didn't see anything.  I'm not sure what your DH is pissed at.

FloF9

East - to be honest DH had no valid reason to be upset. I think it was more of a reaction to him coming home after a trip and seeing her in pain.

I know if I were a childcare worker - I would NOT have done what I did you know?  That would be above and beyond.

Sorry - about the TMI ladies and thanks for all your comments.

eacabraham@gmail.com

I think that you, as a parent, can do things to your child that a daycare worker would reasonably hesitate to try.  I mean, you did something to help your DD poop - reasonable parenting choice, glad it worked - but how would your DD describe that act to you had it been done by the daycare worker?  If your precious girl told you that her teacher touched her bottom and made her poop, is there a chance that you would hit the cieling, call the cops and press charges?

The daycare teacher did what she could do while protecting herself from the potential for accusations of child abuse.