Help! Need advice about dealing with anxiety

Sloane62075

I am facing a long Saturday alone with my 16 month old all day and am feeling anxious and panicky!  A little background - I dealt with post partum depression and anxiety after I had my baby and my doctor ended up putting me on 100 mg of Zoloft.  I felt much better for several months and then, this past spring, decided to wean off Zoloft (with doctor's support) because we were planning to start trying for another baby this summer and I just felt nervous being on Zoloft while pregnant, especially at that high of a dose.

 I quit work in May and am now staying home and working part-time out of the house.  I thought I would LOVE it (I was always sad being away from DD so much when she was in full-time daycare) but it has been quite an adjustment.  At first it was fine but I've gradually felt my anxiety and depression coming back on.  Around the beginning of July, I was feeling so bad that I started my Zoloft again at 25 mg and made an appointment to see my doctor again.  I explained my hesitancy about using Zoloft again since we are about to start trying to get pregnant (been delaying it since I've been feeling bad again this summer) and besides, the 25 mg isn't really helping me that much - I think higher doses are most effective for anxiety issues.  So my doctor has started me doing therapy so that I can hopefully address the anxiety in that way and get off Zoloft so that I can get pregnant.  Oh - and the other thing is I cannot sleep at night so I've been taking Ambien every night to go to sleep - probably for about a month now.  So I'm going to need to get off that before getting pregnant too. 

 I am 35, though, and so I hate delaying getting pregnant again too much longer (it wasn't super easy for us to get pregnant the first time).  To be honest, I've thought a couple of times that maybe we should just stick with one child.  But my DH really wants another baby and I do really want a sibling for my DD and I DO want another baby - I'm just scared because of my anxiety problems! 

Anyway, my immediate problem is my husband is gone for the weekend and I'm home with DD ALL DAY today and tomorrow - I've been with her all week but for some reason, this weekend alone with her makes me feel so overwhelmed, anxious and panicky.  What am I going to do with her all day???  It's raining here too - limits options.  Dragging her around with me on errands makes the time pass but I feel guilty and like a bad parent keeping her strapped in a stroller and/or car seat for long periods of time - she hates both.  I also never know how much I should be entertaining her during the day?  Do I give her ALL my dedicated attention, 10 minutes per hour and then go about my day doing stuff I need to around the house - how do you know when you are doing enough / paying enough attention and not ignoring her?

 The longer term problem is 1) should I stop the Zoloft so I can get pregnant or will that make my anxiety worse, 2) should I just keep taking Zoloft while pregnant (doctor said it's pretty low risk), 3) should I further delay getting pregnant until I can get off Zoloft, tackle the anxiety and get off Ambien?

 I would appreciate any advice / wisdom for getting through this weekend as well as any thoughts on the bigger anxiety medication vs. no anxiety medication issue.

 

 

WYEngTeacher

I don't have experience with clinical anxiety/depression, so I can't offer you much real advice there, but I can relate just b/c of the anxiety I felt right after DD was born and because I am also a sahm who dreads weekends stuck at home allll day with DD. I don't know what it is that makes the weekends worse, right?! My first suggestion would be to go visit family or a friend if you have any close. My husband works all day/night on Saturdays in the fall, and that's how I survived last fall. I would just always go to see my parents all day or schedule visits with friends. As for entertaining your DD, I'm not sure how old she is, but I do spend a LOT of 1 on 1 time with my DD when she's awake. She is 15 months, and if she is entertaining herself happily, then I gladly LET HER and do my own thing, because those moments never last too long! More often than not, though, the kitchen doesn't get cleaned up and I don't shower until after she goes to bed at night, etc. Ideas to keep her entertained: put all your plastic bowls/containers in the lower cupboards and let her tear the apart. Make a pretend wallet for her with old credit cards and let her tear it apart, over and over! Blow bubbles outside when the weather is nice. Get magnetic letters and put them all over the fridge and let her take them all off. Don't know if any of this helps.... Also, my gut feeling is that you should wait to ttc #2 until your anxiety is more under control, but there are a lot of different factors at play there and you have to do what's best for your family. It could make a world of difference if you have family near by who can help out a lot. Good luck!

BartsGirl

Ok well first off, take a DEEP BREATH.  It will all be ok.  I have dealt with similar issues since DS was born, so I understand how you are feeling right now.

Let's take one issue at a time...first off this weekend with DD.  Here is our normal schedule...maybe it might help you get through your day.  We usually hang sround at home in the morning before his first nap.  He naps for about 2 hours in the morning from about 9-11 am.  When he wakes up we have lunch and then go out somewhere.  Is there a mall nearby with an indoor play area?  My DS enjoys exploring pretty much any new place...even Target.  Or how about the library? So, we go out for an hour or two.  Once we get back home it is usually a little snack/milk then in for afternoon nap.  Once he wakes up from his afternoon nap (usually around 3:00 or so) we might play a little at home, go for a walk, sometimes we go out again depending on his level of boredom with home.  I start dinner around 5:00 and we eat around 5:30.  After dinner we might build blocks, read, watch Mickey Mouse.  At 6:30 it's bath, jammies and bed at about 7pm.

I find that when I have a plan my anxiety goes down tremendously.  Do you have any family near by?  How about a friend that might want to come hang out for the day?  Having someone else around might also help you to not feel so alone, which may be adding to your anxiety.

Second issue...getting pregnant.  I will be completely honest, I don't think you should consider getting pregnant again until you have this anxiety issue under control.  Getting preganant now would just add to your level of anxiety.  I was on Celexa throughout my pregnancy.  My doctor and I discussed it and decided that being a nutty pregnant lady was not good for me of for my baby.  I attempted to wean off prior to my 3rd trimester, but I became very emotional and depressed, and immedietly went back on my medication.  I hope that you can discuss this anxiety with oyur husband.  I realize he wants another child, but it shouldn't be more important that your well being.

Take each day at a time.  Explore other medications that you and your doctor might feel more comfortable with you being on during pregnancy.  You have options.  Don't force yourself into a black and white decision about the medication.  It isn't an all or nothing decision.  Let that give you some comfort.

Keep your chin up (((HUGS)))

Sloane62075

Thanks SO MUCH to both of you.  I really appreciate you reading and taking the time to reply.  I am going to try and go visit my sister today (she lives nearby) and set up a schedule / plan on how our day can go.  You are right, that does help a lot - makes me feel less anxious. 

 I am also going to talk with my husband more about the medication issue and getting the anxiety under control before we try for another baby.  I don't think a couple of months make that big of a difference for our timeline and it makes me feel much less stressed to just focus on now.

 THANK YOU!!!  I really needed this - I truly appreciate the support.

jsugrin

As a far as meds go, I took Zoloft in the 3rd tri and did not have any issues.  Also if it's one less thing to worry about Ambien is approved for pregnancy, so that and Benadryl are good for sleeping.  I know we all feel like we need to have our body's pure for our babies but with major health issues I took Percocet and a time release morphine pill every day and then got smacked out of nowhere with the anxiety and added the Zoloft too.  My kids were very closely monitored for withdrawl and neither one had even the smallest of issues.

As far as getting through the weekend, I know today is gone and hopefully you filled it up but for tomorrow you do what you can.  My oldest will certainly let me know when he is feeling like he's not getting enough attention so don't worry about that part.  If you make sure to stop and do something every hour, even if it's taking all the tupperware out and sitting on the floor and helping DC put the lids on and off, that can kill hours.  Do you have blocks?  Stacking and knocking them over can kill some time.