Regarding milestone post...

Aidge

I read over everyone's posts and am now feeling more down than I ever have before. ?I have always prided myself in the fact that Sam will learn these things one day when he's ready and it will come in time. ?But now I want to cry...

I am so happy for all of your babies, but Sam was born at 30 weeks, is almost 13 months adjusted and is doing nowhere near what most of your babies are. ?I know in my head not to compare, and I really never have, shockingly, but it really hit home reading all of the posts. ?Our OT is wonderful, but admits that Sam is stubborn in that he really could care less about trying what she wants us to try, and he fights it, and it seems as if he really will just "do" it when he wants to. ?But I just feel so negative about it right now. I mean, I never expected him to walk at this point, but I thought he would at least be crawling. ?He is army crawling, but that is all. ?I listed what he's doing in PP's thread below.

?

Thanks for listening to my vent. ?I honestly try to never be like this, but again, it just hit home.?

ijack

It's frustrating to not have any control over a situation when a child shows no interest in learning something. One day it will all fall into place and he'll be off and you won't even be able to remember that he wasn't doing things as fast as other kids

lemen99

It's hard not to compare...((hugs))!

TriciaJoy

I feel the same way. Hell, Sam is doing more than Robbie..

*repeats*
he'll do it when he's ready. He'll do it when he's ready. He'll do it when he's ready.

 

 

preemieparent

I'm sorry the post made you cry -  I certainly didn't want that.    I've actually beem going through and making notes with suggestions.  As soon as I get my kids to bed I'll post some stuff.

In the meantime I can offer my kids as examples -

Olivia is 2 1/2 and didn't walk until she was just over two.   It took forever but now she's practically running.   She was basically silent until she was just under 2 and honestly didn't start doing a lot of talking until about 4 months ago.   We tried everything and she was very stubborn about not talking.  Finally something clicked and now she picks up 10 new words a day.

My son was born at 31 weeks and you basically couldn't understand what he was saying when he was 2 1/2.   Finally he got it and now the kid DOES NOT STOP.

I know it's hard to feel like you have such little control over things but trust me.  The work you do and things you do with your little one do matter and do make a difference.   I can say that with 100% certainty.

Aidge

Thanks so much, ladies. ?It helps to know I'm not crazy and bitter. ?And preemieparent- you definitely did not make me cry--- I'm sorry if I came across that way... it was my own emotions going nuts! :-) ?I really think you have a great idea with that, and am looking forward to yours and others' suggestions. ?Thanks again!

SBMBride406

I'm sorry, sweetie. It's hard not to compare. Marino does some of the things Sam does not but you said Sam is clapping and Marino still won't do that (in spite of our best efforts). I hope a year from now you look back and think "remember when I was worried about that..." just think how much has changed in the past year and where you are today compared to then. He will get there. ((BIG HUGS)) 

2BWEDN2007

DS was only army crawling until he could pull to stand and it wasn't until he could do that (almost 2 months after he started army crawling) that he started pushing himself up into a sitting position and crawling on his knees. Even now, sometimes he prefers to army crawl because he is faster at it.

My pedi told me at his last appointment that he may never crawl on his knees because some babies get so good at army crawling that they prefer it. Army crawling IS crawling, so don't let that get you down! He is making progress, but you're right.... it is hard to compare especially if there is a baby that was born more premature and is advancing faster.

I get frustrated when I see babies the same age as DS that were 28+ weekers that are ahead of him and I should know better because he was a 24 weeker and should be more delayed than a 28 weeker the same age.

mhop

I know what you mean.  I was just reading over it and felt the same way.  It actually made me think that there may need to be a separate thread/check in for kids with delays...

gymrat

I'm sorry. It is so hard not to compare. I have a hard time not comparing my twins all the time. Mars always would meet milestones early and then I'd get worried about Ce and a couple months later she would catch-up to him.

((HUGS))

jenerally

I feel that way about my older son who is speech delayed. He's so stubborn about talking and I can't MAKE him do it.

So most days I just love him and let the chips fall where they may. It's not easy and I get upset about how things aren't easy or normal for us.

hugs to you!

SWMcFarland

Sounds like you have a wonderful, VERY independent little one who is going to do what he wants, when HE wants to.  I will say, my little neighbor across the street was a 42 weeker who was still army crawling only after her 1st birthday.  It was about 13 months when she decided she wanted to attempt walking.  So sometimes it is simply what the baby wants, nothing else!

Keep hanging in there.  One day, to your complete dismay, he is going to just pull himself up and walk away.  You'll never see it coming!  Boys are especially stubborn like that! 

You are a great mom and doing everything right.  Keep doing what you are doing, and he will too!!  :-)

Big hugs!!!!!

Aidge

Thanks again everyone! I knew I could count on you all to make me feel better. :-)