Stressing! How am I going to do this?!

ambrvan

Ok, I'm twenty years old, due with my first baby on January 1st. I work full time, go to school full time, and have a three-year-old stepdaughter. How am I going to do it all when the new baby comes?!

I know we always make it. Always have and always wil. It won't be easy, but one way or another, we'll do it. I just started thinking about it today particularly, and I'm stressing out.

sprky79

*backs slowly out of post in an effort to be polite.....*

wisc.bride

I'm sure people are going to post, "too young...blah, blah, blah" but what's done is done.  DS's due date was the official day of my college graduation and I worked 30+ hrs/week & we were remodeling a home (like gut to the studs, add new duct work, & redrywall remodeling). 

All's I can tell you is you just do it.  When DS was about 3 months old I went back to school full time for my masters degree- I got my MBA in a year while working full time.  Just put it all in perspective...soon the baby will be older and super independent.  I'd rather the first few years be crazy and reach my goals then to not be able to completely provide for my family and be disappointed in myself.

BennyL

Can you work part time? Or go to school part time? What kind of family / friend support do you have close by?

 

hiltyn78

sprky79:

*backs slowly out of post in an effort to be polite.....*

I don't know what Sparky's problem is but just ignore her.  apparently she lives a life full of judgement and is just perfect.  Must be nice!

You work FT and go to school FT right now.  I'd bust my a$$ to get as much of my school done before this baby gets here as possible.  Then once the baby is here, I'd probably cut back to working PT and still attending school FT but you may want to do some less- traditional hours.  ie, classes at night or on the weekend.  You can save on day care this way too.  Your DH is going to have to step it up big time.  You're going to be tired as heII and you may think you can't do it but YOU CAN!  IT's ok to think you have it harder than anyone and no one else can relate, etc. etc. but then you cry your eyes out suck it up and just keep going.  Think about how amazing it will be WHEN you do graduate and have managed to keep it together.

Good luck!!  You'll get (mostly) positive support on this board : )

madhatter2003

In addition to the other good advice, I'd say start building your support network now if you don't have family in the area.  Think about who you can use for sitters....do other friends have kids you can trade with, etc. Also, think about how to save money on meals, expenses like cable, etc so that you could possibly cut back your hours.

Figure out what courses may be 'easier' to do for the first few months after the new baby is here....and what you can do online or on weekends like another poster suggested.  Figure out with DH what your schedule will be NOW to avoid arguments later as much as you can.

14years

Wow.  You have a lot going on!  I second some of the prior suggestions.  If you can either work PT or go to school PT, that would help a lot. Could you take a semester off while you adjust to your new life?  I usually wouldn't suggest that, but school may be easier to stop and then start again that working.  Also, you have to have some support and help.  Do you live close by to your families?  I'd start talking with them about what help you may need once the baby arrives.  Good luck!  You can do it.

sprky79

Yes I realize the damage has been done here where the o/p's life and choices are concerned, and to point that out probably makes me sound kinda_bitchy, but please, how do you overlook that?

My advice to you ambrvan, is to be real tough, real quick.  The only real means of insuring a stable life for your home and your future child is to make sure you finish your education come hell_or high water.  It will likely mean missing out on a lot of the early years of your child's life.  You won't get to be the mommy on the play dates in the middle of the afternoon.  BUT, if you do it, and finish, and thereby ensure you can have a career that will support both yourself and your child, it will be worth it in the long run, and far more beneficial for you and your child than to drop out of school because "its just too much." 

I cross my fingers for all the best luck in the world for you. 

 

Maybride2

sprky79:

Yes I realize the damage has been done here where the o/p's life and choices are concerned, and to point that out probably makes me sound kinda_bitchy, but please, how do you overlook that?

I'm a biitch right along with you, sprky.  I can't help but want to ask her why she didn't think of this roughly 15 weeks ago.  Or maybe she didn't expect to be working FT or in school FT now?

OP - you need to do whatever it takes to support your family.  If you can afford to not work and go to school FT, then do that..........if you can't, then I'd suggest you put school on hold and work.  Education is important, but it may have to go on the backburner if you can't afford to support baby without your income.  That's life. 

2-Step

Whatever you do, just know that no matter what age or what kind of job/education you have everyone has a few freak out moments where they don't think they are going to be able to handle everything. I am older and have a steady job with benefits and leave, but I still freak out about being able to handle it all. It doesn't mean you shouldn't have gotten pregnant or you shouldn't be a working mom or you should give up your dreams, it just means you are taking your choices more seriously and paying attention to how they will effect your family now. Just try to find the right road for you and know that it can include anything you want and leave out anything you don't, don't let people on here tell you how and what you should be doing, just have your freak out and tell yourself everything will be ok and keep going! Trust that you know best what balance of life, work and school will make you and your family happy.