Avoiding friends

jacmdb

I was supose to meet some girlfriends after work and really don't want to. They are my best friends but one has a 5 week old and one is pregnant. There are 2 other girls going and I wish it was just the three of us. I feel bad avoiding the girls that have babies or are pregnant but I always feel worse about our situation after I am with them.

This is also an issue because 13 couples we know are either pregnant or have had babies in the past year I told DH the other night we need to move and find new friends. It makes me sad that I even thought that.

Thanks for letting me vent!  

Zanymermaid

Don't feel bad about avoiding friends. I'm doing the same thing too. I have a friend who has a baby girl. Her baby is almost one year old. The last time I was with her she kept talking about whether or not she should have another child. I almost killed her! I told her to please not talk about that in front of me and she listened, but I am putting off getting together with her again for fear she will bring the subject up again and I honestly don't know if I could be responsilbe for my actions!

VicHladky

You are NOT ALONE!  I was suppose to have lunch with a friend this week and canceled also because she has daugther that is almost two and is due with her second SON any day now.  I currently have 8 pregnant friends, 8!! My sister and best friend both have babies in the last 6 months.  I often have thoughts like "Let's just move where no one knows us or what we're going through" because I feel like that would be easier, but in the end, I'd probably feel the same way after awhile.

 This is HARD!  If one person tells me "don't try so hard and it will happen" I might PUNCH THEM OUT!  Friends and family mean well, but unless they have gone through something like this, they truly cannot understand. 

That is why I am SUPER thankful for sites like this where I can share our story and talk to otheres who actually understand what we are going through.

HANG IN THERE!

jacmdb

Small world ... I grew up in Waldorf. My parents still live in Welcome. DH and I were just there in April.

bcbuttons

Honestly, I told my husband the same thing the other night when I found out the 2nd of my 2 best friends is pregnant. They want to go to dinner and the thought of it makes me want to run away. I can't imagine sitting there listening to them talk about their pregnancies while I'm so sad inside. Or even worse them NOT talking about it b/c I'm there. There are so many negative emotions involved with IF and throwing jealousy in there just puts me over the edge. I've been wondering how I can avoid them for the next 9 months, how awful of me, but honestly I can't help it.??

?I posted about my situation the other day and the support I got on here was amazing. Knowing you're not alone in these feelings really does help.??

Bride2Be2008PA

You're not alone. There are certain friends I am staying clear of. Primarily the one that is a SAHM that is miserable and complains all the time about being home, the kids, her husband, etc. I just can't take it. HANG IN THERE!

jamie217

Don't feel bad!!!  I think everyone going through this does the same thing...I've found excuses to have to work through lunch because 2 both of the girls that I have lunch with are pregnant...one of whom suffered with IF and all they talk about is pregnancy and ultrasounds and no matter how many times I change the subject, they go right back to it.

 

I also have a friend pg with her 2nd...got pg the 1st month of trying both times, knows what we are going through and when she called to tell me she was pg I vented about people asking when I'm going to have a baby before she told me.  After she told me, she mentioned all these other people due around the same time and said "yeah, it's babies, babies, babies"...It was so insensitive and I know it's wrong, but I don't think I'll ever feel the same way about her.