discipline advice needed!!!

jen1977

so, im sure like most 2.5 year olds, my DS does NOT LISTEN...it's making me nuts...nothing we have tried works- we take away his blankey (which i just read we should not be doing) , time out, ignoring, yelling, etc...i'm at my wits end.  this morning for example, wouldn't let me brush his teeth- that turned into 20  minutes of screaming and crying and me having to physically hold him down while i got him dressed to leave...ugh

mlm1128

I am posting so I can come back and see responses...I have no advice.  My dd listens to everyone but me.  I have gotten to the point where I say it 3 times, and if she has not listened I walk away and when she is ready to listen she comes to me.

Namast

I've noticed when I give DD alot of choices durring the day, that she doesn't really fight things.  for example, which shirt do you want to wear, what do you want for b-fast, juice or milk, ect.  I never give her more than two to choose from but it makes her feel like she has a say. 

Then when I need her to do something like brush her teeth or her hair, I ask her if she wants to do it.  That way she doesn't feel like she is being bossed around.  There are definitly times where she fights but I think we keep it to a minium because of the choices she gets.

good luck!!

docmay25

Have you tried positive reinforcement?  This works (most times) with my dd & ds.  They have charts that I made.  They have things that they need to work on (good listening,cleaning up toys, no hitting)  and whenever they do one of those thngs they get to put a sticker on the chart.  When they get 5 stickers they can play a computer game.  I would try a chart, make it simple and how ever he would succeed (3 stickers and he gets to do something or earns something that he would be excited about).

I have done the time outs and taking toys away, that never works for us.  Positive reinforcement always does.  Some other things that my kids find important is earning coins for their piggy bank.  Good Luck!  It is a struggle every day.

Aliliv

Namast?:

I've noticed when I give DD alot of choices durring the day, that she doesn't really fight things.  for example, which shirt do you want to wear, what do you want for b-fast, juice or milk, ect.  I never give her more than two to choose from but it makes her feel like she has a say. 

Then when I need her to do something like brush her teeth or her hair, I ask her if she wants to do it.  That way she doesn't feel like she is being bossed around.  There are definitly times where she fights but I think we keep it to a minium because of the choices she gets.

good luck!!

This. Plus, for things like brushing her teeth - we do the your turn now Mommy's turn thing.  She brushes her teeth first and then I do it - sometimes we do a really good job sometimes not, but the process is always there.

She still throws her tantrums, and we do a time-out type thing - she has to go to bed and cool off.  I usually give her books or something to help her cool down. 

DandelionMom

Consider picking up these books: How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Kids Are Worth It. 

For smoother mornings:

-Establishing a fun routine that incorporates silly songs and opportunities for choices really helps a lot.  It needs to be predictable and it needs to encourage easy transitions.  It also helps to let your toddler try to do as much on their own as they can. 

-Let them pick between two breakfasts, two toothpastes, two outfits to wear, etc.  Let them put on their clothes while you work on something else nearby so you can help when needed.

-Have some kind of reward for getting ready quickly.  If we're ready early, we have time for a story or TV show and the kids love that.

bythesea

I am SO not an expert in this area because nothing I do consistently works.  However, with each situation, I am constantly searching for triggers to get my DD to do what I want.  The teeth brushing for example, I have stickers and when she gives me a hard time about brushing I say that if she brushes her teeth she will get a sticker.  If that doesn't work, I try the taking away approach, for example "if you don't want to brush your teeth, you don't have to but no books before bed then".  She initially is okay with that but then comes running back to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

I've asked other moms this question and a lot of them have recommended the book 1-2-3 Magic:  https://www.amazon.com/1-2-3-Magic-Effective-Discipline-Children/dp/1889140163/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1244640650&sr=8-1

I haven't bought it yet, but it has been recommended to me on several occassions.

When she throws a fit, we found timeout doesn't work well as she gets even more worked up and has even started "throwing up/gagging" because she is so worked up so we've resorted to telling her she needs to go to her playroom.  Anytime she is having an uncontrollable fit, we send her to the playroom.  For us it's right off the kitchen so it's easy. 

I think being firm and consistent are probably key but I'm not one to talk because this is nearly impossible with a PIA 2 1/2 year old. 

 Good luck!