To circumcise or not to circumcise, that is the question...

HBamama2B · December 2015

DH and I debated at length before we were even pregnant on this topic and I'm interested in hearing other mom-2-bes' opinions. We've made our decision now that we know it's a boy, but I'm very interested to see what others are thinking and the individual reasons for doing/not doing the procedure if any one would like to share.

kayla2536 · December 2015

I told my husband that I didn't want to. I've read that it's not necessary, not any more hygienic, can cause damage and is hugely traumatic to the baby. He thinks it's weird to not be circumsized. It's "normal" to him, never imagined it was really an option. He told a friend that I didn't want to and I guess both his friend and his friend's brother weren't the cleanest when they were kids (fairly poor with lots of kids in the family) and they got an infection and had to be circumsized when they were 8 or 9 and it was horrible.

So I'm not sure! We don't know if baby is a boy or girl yet but will know on Friday!

NLewis1 · December 2015

This is just such a hugely personal decision and is frankly a "hot button issue" on most of the bump boards. We circumsized our son due to a mixture of personal and religious beliefs

lm45678 · December 2015

We are going to circumcise our boys.

As a former mother baby nurse I have seen many babies circumcised and taken care of them afterwards. Yes, it sucks... But they generally get over it rather quickly with some skin to skin time.

I'm on team better to get it over with early than have your teenager want it done and it's a more major surgery.

Personally, I have seen very few complications as long as they are properly cared for.

sorarose · December 2015

We did it for religious reasons. Because of this, it wasn't done in the hospital where I've heard it's similar to minor outpatient surgery (but I don't really know). DS was more furious about having his legs uncrossed than it actually happening.

Still, highly personal issue, so just do your research and make the decision for yourself.

goldie987 · December 2015

We're circumcising any boys we have due to religious beliefs but even if it weren't due to religion, we would still likely have it done.

In the end, to each their own, there are valid arguments on each side so there is no one answer for every family and that's totally okay. As long as you and DH are both on the same page, you're making the right decision for you guys.

Eta - from the AMA/AAP if anyone is interested in their stance: the American Academy of Pediatrics found the health benefits of newborn male circumcision outweigh the risks, but the benefits are not great enough to recommend universal newborn circumcision.

HBamama2B · December 2015

@NLewis1 Absolutely a personal decision each parent must make.

I'm aware it can be a hot button issue, so I'm only asking our board to share if they are interested to. This is meant less as a 'why should/shouldn't I do x' post and more 'what did it mean to you as a parent' post. It took DH and I about 6 months to lean one way or the other and even then it wasn't until we knew it was a boy that our final decision became clear. Personally, I think Bc it is a personal decision, all the reasons on either side are valid from religion, to health, to risk, to locker room/look like father, etc.

mrsp2213 · December 2015

We will circumcise. I asked my husband if that was what he wanted and he said yes so that's where it ended. I do not have strong feelings on it one way or the other so it was not a debate for us. But I agree, totally personal choice.

fishwife799 · December 2015

This can become a very hot topic on these boards. As pp mentioned it is a very personal decision to some. Hopefully it stays calm. We were at odds originally he was pro I was against. I told him I wasn't so against it that I wouldn't allow it so I let him make the decision. He rarely gets to make decisions when it comes to pregnancy/kids and since it wasn't something I was hugely passionate about I could give him this one. So we went to pre-register at our hospital and they asked about it. We found out that our insurance would not cover the procedure and it would cost us $540 that was required prior to the delivery. So we chose not to do it at that point. We will follow suit of this one is a boy.

VikingGirl12 · December 2015

Since my husband cared so much that DS would be, and I was fine either way, I let him decide. DS didn't even cry during his.
There have been some instances where I wish we hadn't. Some very minor issues have come up. But overall, we cared for it well and he is just fine.
I decided to ask our pedi what he suggest to parents and he said "I think it's best for the son to look like his father" and I thought that was the best response anyone could have given us.

huskypuppy14 · December 2015

I don't know the sex of my baby yet. However, I told my husband he could make the decision if we have a boy. I could go either way, and I don't have a penis, so I felt my husband is more equipped to make the decision. However, my husband's family is Jewish, and I said if we do do it, it will be done in a hospital by a doctor, not a rabbi. He agrees.

HBamama2B · December 2015

@fishwife799 @VikingGirl12 @mrsp2213 Thanks for sharing, it was similar with DH and I as far as discussing and compromising. It's definitely an issue DHs seem to feel strongly about and that's one of the reasons I think I'm interested in the topic.

june2016baby · December 2015

We will circumcise, but mostly because we circumcised our older boys, and I think not circumsizing the youngest would be odd. Having said that, if this was my first baby, I would probably just skip it.

My husband circumsized our older son himself, since he was a dr at the hospital where our son was born. But our younger son was circumsized by whatever pediatrician that was on call, and frankly he did a poor job. There is too much foreskin left, and it doesn't look like a "neat" job.

TMI warning: My husband is not circumsized, and I am totally fine with it.

MynaBird · December 2015

My husband is Jewish, so if we have a boy we will circumcise. I don't have strong feelings either way, so if there weren't a cultural/religious reason, I would probably have left this one up to my husband anyway. There's no way for me to compete with his personal experience in this particular area. So to speak.

on3in2015 · December 2015

We didn't with our son and would not do it again if this baby is a boy. We personally felt it to be unnecessary trauma. I also think a son should match his father. My husband is not circumsized. Perhaps I would think differently if my husband was circumsized. However knowing what I do now, Im glad we made the decision not to regardless of husbands...*ahem*.

meggyme · December 2015

While I'm in the same camp as many who would let DH make a well educated decision on the matter, the "son should match his father" justification really creeps me out. Just my opinion.

sorarose · December 2015

huskypuppy14 said:

I don't know the sex of my baby yet. However, I told my husband he could make the decision if we have a boy. I could go either way, and I don't have a penis, so I felt my husband is more equipped to make the decision. However, my husband's family is Jewish, and I said if we do do it, it will be done in a hospital by a doctor, not a rabbi. He agrees.

Just so you know, it doesn't have to be done by a Rabbi for it to be a ritual circumcision. I chose an OB who also does a bris to do ours.

ahernandez16 · December 2015

I left it up to my husband. He's not, and he doesn't want to if we end up having a boy. We both agree it's something a man can always have done later if they choose, but they can't ever get it back if we make that decision for them now.

andiie5 · December 2015

My son was circumcised when he was 4 weeks old. Here in Australia it has become a very unpopular choice and they don't do it anymore in hospitals as a common practice. It took several people and many questions until finally someone pointed me in the right direction.
It was performed by a Jewish doctor in his private practice. Took No more than 5 minutes to put some sort of anesthetic or numbing cream and then the procedure.
He was a happy baby until the anesthetic wore off (maybe 10 minutes after?). We gave him some panadol (Tylenol) and fed him and he was fine after that.
Healing time was 5 days or so. I would recommend it.
Sorry for the long post!

halesnwhales · December 2015

We're not circumcising our boy just due to the fact that we feel it's unnecessary. Personally, I don't feel right making that decision for my son, it's his penis, it's his decision.

gauge1234 · December 2015

I will definitely not. My husband isn't and there are no issues, we have no religious reason, and I don't support it the same way I do not support female circumcision. Not to start an argument re religion

As long as the penis is washed properly there is no issue with hygiene.

loveymay · December 2015

Lurking from April

We are having a boy and are not going to circumcise him. Before getting pregnant, I did a little research and watched some videos of it being performed. It just broke my heart to hear those brand new babies scream. I'm sure some doctors do a much better job and some do a poor job. But I'd rather not take the chance of my baby getting it done by a doctor who doesn't care much about the baby's pain management. I'm not knocking anyone's decision about it, I think it is a personal decision for the parents to make, and there is no right or wrong answer. I also didn't want to deal with wound care while learning how to care for a newborn at the same time {I'm a ftm). My dh is curcimsized but doesn't feel strongly about it either way.

Atlast111 · December 2015

Looking at it from an adults point of view, there are 3 main arguments used for and against. 1) Hygiene. This is kind of irrelevant in my mind as a washed Penis is a clean one! 2) Aesthetic 3) Sensitivity. Although circumcision does improve the look, the vast majority or circumcised men complain that they have reduced sensitivity. This is due to the constant friction against clothing and the nerve endings becoming desensitised. I personally wouldn't bother because of this. Religious beliefs are a separate issue for me. As for dad's and sons matching.....that made me feel a bit odd....haha. As i was confused by this is asked my husband to explain this and he said that when little boys are young they might be confused by their dad's looking different to them.....I hadn't even considered that! Still a no for me though.

HBamama2B · December 2015

Thanks for sharing everyone! All valid points on both sides and I really appreciate hearing that others had similar discussions as my DH and I.

this is why I love our board!

PressLove · December 2015

I'm so happy that this remained a calm, discussion about personal choice. As PPs have mentioned, I've seen these types of posts go horribly awry.

At our hospital, the OB is required to do the circumcision, not the pediatrician. While I've always been on the pro side, a friend's son had too much skin cut by our OB. Overall he's fine and the pediatrician said there won't be any lasting damage. However, this incident has made me pause and re-evaluate.

CourtJack · December 2015

Nope. Wouldn't even consider it and to take it one step further I don't think just because a man has a penis it should be his decision if he hasn't done his research. I don't believe "looking like dad" is a valid reason either. My son is 8. He has never once asked about his dad's penis and not looking the same. They have the same-looking smile. That's good enough

And even if he did ask at some point, i feel it would be very easy to explain why there is a difference. As some PP's said I believe it's completely uneccesary. :-)

NavyFlyer · December 2015

I will not post an opinion one way or another. I'm just going to post 2 real life stories, take them for what you will.

1. My sisters husband had to get circumsized a few years ago as an adult due to repeated health issues because of it. Out of work for more than a week and miserable.

2. My husband went with our son when he got circumsized at the hospital. He didnt even cry. Was back in my arms 10 min later perfectly happy.

Take that for what you will!

june2016baby · December 2015

Atlast111 said:
Looking at it from an adults point of view, there are 3 main arguments used for and against. 1) Hygiene. This is kind of irrelevant in my mind as a washed Penis is a clean one! 2) Aesthetic 3) Sensitivity. Although circumcision does improve the look, the vast majority or circumcised men complain that they have reduced sensitivity. This is due to the constant friction against clothing and the nerve endings becoming desensitised. I personally wouldn't bother because of this. Religious beliefs are a separate issue for me. As for dad's and sons matching.....that made me feel a bit odd....haha. As i was confused by this is asked my husband to explain this and he said that when little boys are young they might be confused by their dad's looking different to them.....I hadn't even considered that! Still a no for me though.

Hey, great summary! I do slightly wish we hadn't had our older sons circumsized, but ultimately, what's done is done!

As for the aesthetic, I totally agree. However, I did want to say that a woman won't even notice a man isn't circumsized during intimate moments, because it will look the same as a man who is circumsized. The only time it would be noticeable, is if she watches him shower or get dressed.

alysemci · December 2015

I don't have one so I asked my husband what he would want if he could choose, he said for sure circumcise and that he would hate it if he wasn't. That was enough for me, we did with my son. It healed right up. We'll do it again if this one is a boy.

snowhite12 · December 2015

If this LO turns out to be a boy we WILL circumcise.

This is one of the many many reasons why...when I was in high school, I worked as a CNA in a assisted living home, almost all the older men were NOT circumcised. It was hard and uncomfortable for them and for the other nurses and CNA's to clean them properly. You felt absolutely terrible for them.

Most of them faced infections and painful urination. A friend of mine's brother was not circumcised and ended up paying for his own operation when he was a teenager due to embarrassment and he said he was terrified of getting a infection. My husband and I both come from large families full of boys who have all been with no complications.

alsbaldwin · December 2015

If LO#2 is a boy, we will. DS was circumcised. I was "meh" about it, and DH felt stronger about it then I did, so he made the call. DS had it done while we were in the hospital- he was back to our room in 10 minutes and didn't cry once.

lalavg · December 2015

I used to be a nurse and it I've seen many dirty penisses because of them not pulling back when washing or nurses not enough time to take the extra step when washing. So much easier when circumcised.

Atlast111 · December 2015

Liesvg said:
I used to be a nurse and it I've seen many dirty penisses because of them not pulling back when washing or nurses not enough time to take the extra step when washing. So much easier when circumcised.

This is just about education really. It's not hard for people to teach their son to wash under the foreskin. It's a little job, just like teaching them to aim into the toilet.

CourtJack · December 2015

I was lurking on May (I think) and found this link. It identifies many, if not all reasons why I'd never circumcise my son - just some added food for thought.

https://9davids.blogspot.ca/2010/11/50-reasons-to-leave-it-alone.html

sorarose · December 2015

CourtJack said:

I was lurking on May (I think) and found this link. It identifies many, if not all reasons why I'd never circumcise my son - just some added food for thought.

https://9davids.blogspot.ca/2010/11/50-reasons-to-leave-it-alone.html

And I could likely find a similar list that explains why it's a good idea. This is like throwing a grenade into what's been a pretty tame discussion. Again, you are entitled to your personal choice, but this feels over the top.

CourtJack · December 2015

sorarose said:

CourtJack said:

I was lurking on May (I think) and found this link. It identifies many, if not all reasons why I'd never circumcise my son - just some added food for thought.

https://9davids.blogspot.ca/2010/11/50-reasons-to-leave-it-alone.html

And I could likely find a similar list that explains why it's a good idea. This is like throwing a grenade into what's been a pretty tame discussion. Again, you are entitled to your personal choice, but this feels over the top.

If you found a list explaining why it's a good idea, I would encourage you to share it, and I would read it. It's information. Not a grenade. OP asked for opinions and I thought this was some useful information for one side of the argument. Feel free to share info that you believe supports your opinions. I respect everyone's right to do what is best for their family.

sorarose · December 2015

CourtJack said:

sorarose said:

CourtJack said:

I was lurking on May (I think) and found this link. It identifies many, if not all reasons why I'd never circumcise my son - just some added food for thought.

https://9davids.blogspot.ca/2010/11/50-reasons-to-leave-it-alone.html

And I could likely find a similar list that explains why it's a good idea. This is like throwing a grenade into what's been a pretty tame discussion. Again, you are entitled to your personal choice, but this feels over the top.

If you found a list explaining why it's a good idea, I would encourage you to share it, and I would read it. It's information. Not a grenade. OP asked for opinions and I thought this was some useful information for one side of the argument. Feel free to share info that you believe supports your opinions. I respect everyone's right to do what is best for their family.

First of all, sharing a blog that cites websites that are anti-circumcision and studies with shotty statistics is not "useful information." I clicked on several of the links, and the studies had several issues with selection bias and methodology. I could cite the American Academy of Pediatrics' current position, but I'm not because this has been a discussion that cites personal experiences and beliefs, rather than trying to "prove" ourselves with science that can frankly be found on both sides if you look in the right places.

Also, I take offense to an article that lists countries that perform circumcision versus those that don't, as if to say look at this western countries that DON'T perform it versus these Middle Eastern and African countries that do. It feels very Donald Trump-esque. Of course Muslim and Jewish countries will have a higher circumcision rate! And if you are really a good Christian, you won't do it. So yes, this is a grenade.

PressLove · December 2015

@sorarose - Please take this comment with the love and empathy that typed words can convey. While I understand why you're upset, questioning if someone is "really a good christian" is not the best way to keep the conversation positive. I whole heartedly agree you must look at the bias presented in many studies. However, attacking a person on a religious level is a larger grenade than some of those studies.

sorarose · December 2015

PressLove said:

@sorarose - Please take this comment with the love and empathy that typed words can convey. While I understand why you're upset, questioning if someone is "really a good christian" is not the best way to keep the conversation positive. I whole heartedly agree you must look at the bias presented in many studies. However, attacking a person on a religious level is a larger grenade than some of those studies.

I'm not attacking anyone. That's what the article said. I'm offended by the article. 42.) If you are Christian, your religion actually *forbids* circumcision. Your son's body is a temple, and Jesus was the sacrifice to end all sacrifices - including the foreskin. See this link for more info.

Atlast111 · December 2015

Let's not make this about religion. It's very simple, if you are religious go ahead and circumcise as your region requires it. If you are not religious, there is no real medical benefit to doing it.....job done.

CourtJack · December 2015

sorarose said:

CourtJack said:

sorarose said:

CourtJack said:

I was lurking on May (I think) and found this link. It identifies many, if not all reasons why I'd never circumcise my son - just some added food for thought.

https://9davids.blogspot.ca/2010/11/50-reasons-to-leave-it-alone.html

And I could likely find a similar list that explains why it's a good idea. This is like throwing a grenade into what's been a pretty tame discussion. Again, you are entitled to your personal choice, but this feels over the top.

If you found a list explaining why it's a good idea, I would encourage you to share it, and I would read it. It's information. Not a grenade. OP asked for opinions and I thought this was some useful information for one side of the argument. Feel free to share info that you believe supports your opinions. I respect everyone's right to do what is best for their family.

First of all, sharing a blog that cites websites that are anti-circumcision and studies with shotty statistics is not "useful information." I clicked on several of the links, and the studies had several issues with selection bias and methodology. I could cite the American Academy of Pediatrics' current position, but I'm not because this has been a discussion that cites personal experiences and beliefs, rather than trying to "prove" ourselves with science that can frankly be found on both sides if you look in the right places.

Also, I take offense to an article that lists countries that perform circumcision versus those that don't, as if to say look at this western countries that DON'T perform it versus these Middle Eastern and African countries that do. It feels very Donald Trump-esque. Of course Muslim and Jewish countries will have a higher circumcision rate! And if you are really a good Christian, you won't do it. So yes, this is a grenade.

Welp, I guess I will out myself and admit I didn't click any of the links cited. I read the list. I agreed with a lot of the points in the list. I shared the link. Thanks for fact checking and sharing the points that you found to be shoddy science. I stand by agreeing with some of the list and I appreciate you looking further into aspects of it and sharing with the group. I'm not one to share a lot of outside info - and I have zero problems admitting when I haven't fully investigated something. So again, thanks for sharing.

Still though. I'm not a grenade thrower.

Want a personalized experience?

To circumcise or not to circumcise, that is the question...

Re: To circumcise or not to circumcise, that is the question...

Mrs. H

Crohn's Dx: August 2008

Endometriosis Dx: May 2010

Married: 05/19/2012

TTC #1: June 2013

BFP: December 2013

DS: Born 08/29/2014

TTC #2: July 2015

Choose Another Board

Search Boards