Should I just stop trying?

firefightersgal

I have a relatively new friend who seems to be running hot and cold with me.  She wants me to do some things with her and gets upset if I don't include her in things I'm doing, but then it seems like she's giving me the cold-shoulder other times.  (Like right now).  Maybe I'm reading too far into this, but it is bugging me.  I thought we were getting pretty close, but I don't know anymore.  The other thing that bothers me about it is that Nora likes to play with her kids.  I'd hate for things to go sour and Nora lose friends out of the deal, too.

I've tried contacting her (for different reasons) via telephone, email, and instant messenger with no response.  We've run into her twice in the past week.  She talked to me and was cordial, but didn't seem overly friendly or thrilled about it.  I can't think of anything I said or did that would have upset her.  Should I just stop trying and let her come to me if she wants to?

cristiana

I'd step back. It sucks to be the one putting forth all the effort.

breezee_bean

I would.  People like that suck the fun out of the friendship.  Friendship is a two-way street. 

boosma

breezee_bean:

I would.  People like that suck the fun out of the friendship.  Friendship is a two-way street. 

 

This.

ilovemygirls

She sounds like waaaay too much work.  Big red flag that she gets "upset" if you don't include her in some things- my goodness, is she 12?  Just go about your business, I'm sure you have other friends who do treat friendship as the two way street that it is.

Rebekah1021

Yep - hopefully she'll come around, but I wouldn't keep trying.

Bellisimo

Can I just preface this by saying that women are b!tches!?  Cause it's true.  And I don't play that game with people...especially other women.  If you want to be my friend then treat me like a friend, don't be jealous, gossipy/catty, and I'll be the best and most loyal friend you've ever had.  But once the games begin (talking behind my back, jealousy, or ignoring me) I bail.  I don't have a problem cutting someone off if they're not a genuine friend to me.  It's sad, but it happens.  Sounds to me like you need to maintain an arm's length distance from this girl.  Invite her to get together for the kids' sake but don't invest too much of your time or emotions into the friendship with her if that's the way she's going to treat you.  If she can't even manage to get together with you for the kids to play then screw her!