I'm upset and that makes me feel really guilty

txbabs111

I just talked to my mom and she let me know that my dad's Dr. decided that she wants him to do 3 weeks of radiation starting on Monday. So my parents will be leaving on Sunday night and staying in Houston Sunday- Friday for the next 3 weeks. I know that baby will be here within that time frame because my Dr. won't let me go more than a week overdue.

I know that it is much more important for them to be there getting this treatment so that he can hopefully beat this but it just never really crossed my mind that they would be gone essentially for 3 entire weeks right now. They have just be going down for 1-2 nights at a time and not even every week, and I didn't know they wanted to start him on radiation right now. 

I keep telling myself that it is so much more important for my  dad to do this so he can see DD grow up but I just really always thought my parents would be there to see her when she was born. I also know that I am so blessed to be having this baby and to have both my parents alive to meet her. I feel like a horrible, selfish person for even being upset about this, but I can't help it.

rssnlvr

Aw, I'm sorry. I would be upset too. You are NOT a horrible, selfish person. In fact, you sound like a very compassionate, understanding daughter for even recognizing the fact that it is a good thing that your dad is getting this treatment right now.

Don't beat yourself up over how you feel. It is totally understandable and justifiable!

ETA: And, hopefully Baby Babs will come on a weekend when your parents are here!!!

FeistyFille

Oh man, I feel you on the being upset and feeling guilty about it.  Except on the opposite end of the spectrum.  (Have I mentioned my MIL will be here for 2 months?  )

You can't help the way you feel.  This is a seriously huge, life-changing event in your life.  It's only natural that you'd want your parents to be there to share in the experience.  Do they have a laptop?  I know it's no consolation, but maybe you could skype with them so they could see the baby soon after she gets here.  You know they want to be there just as much as you do. 

lyndamf

It is completely understandable how you feel.  This is such a huge moment in your life and you want your parents to be there to share it with you.  Just the fact that you feel guilty for feeling this way shows that you understand that this is best for him, but, for lack of a better word, it still sucks.  I'm sure it will all work out and maybe it will end up happening on a weekend or you will be able to find an alternate way to share this experience with them.

SaraLouiseBride08

Ohmygosh, I'm so sorry. I think everything your feeling is not only perfectly okay, but makes you even better of a person and this little one is very lucky to have you. I'm sorry the next few weeks aren't going just how you've imagined , and it sounds like there is no "good solution" to this situation. Let yourself feel that way, because cancer SUCKS and it's not your fault.

I'm not trying to put down your sad feelings, but like you said, remember the bright side:

In less than a month you'll have your little girl!!

Your father is getting the treatment that he needs so he can meet his little grandbaby.

Your husband will be with you.

Once the LO is here, you won't notice anyone but the baby.

Also, better now than once hte baby is born, in a way? So your parents can have this past them, and be there to help you the first few weeks after you have her.

Good luck in the next few weeks, and I'll be sending prayers to your whole family/

GuavaGal

I'm sorry you're upset.  ((HUGS))

MrsJEC

I can see why you are upset, and I don't think you are a selfish person.  You recognize this is the best thing for your dad, but it's still a sad thing.  I am sure that your parents are feeling a mixture of feelings about this situation too!  I am sorry that they won't be able to be there when your DD is born.  I hope his treatment goes well and that they will be able to be there very soon after your baby is born!

MrsBeckO

I'm so sorry Babs. I'd be feeling the same way. Do not beat yourself up about how you feel.. you have no reason to feel guilty.?

And like rssn said - Maybe Baby Girl will make her arrival on a weekend and you won't have anything to worry about. That's what I'll be hoping for.?

(((HUGS)))

I'll be thinking about your Dad and praying for his continued improvement. ?

Kim777

I'm so sorry. I would be really sad if my parents couldn't be there too!

mcgee

My parents had to go to MD Anderson the week I was in the hospital having Meredith. Then they went back to AR, let dad rest for a bit, and THEN they came out to NC to meet Meredith. I was really unhappy with how that went because I wanted them to meet her right away.

But nearly 3 years later, it's not a big deal. Really. They had a great visit when they came out to meet Meredith, and dad has had 3 really wonderful years of life with his granddaughter. Honestly, that's a lot more than we thought he'd have when she was born, so we'll take it. In the grand scheme of things, although it bothers you now, I promise it won't seem like such a big deal when you look back on it later. You'll remmeber how great it was when they visited and when you introduced them to your child, and whether that visit happened the day your  baby was born or a few days or even weeks later won't matter.

((hugs))

mlf625

I'm sorry, babs. ?:( ?That would be disappointing for anybody- I was really stressed about my parents making it here on time for DS's birth and I know I would have been sad if they couldn't make it. ?You really shouldn't feel guilty- if you were throwing a fit and insisting your dad not go....then you could feel guilty. ?But your feelings are very normal and understandable. ?((hugs))

fjaril

*hugs* I don't think you are being selfish.