2 questions — The Bump
Adoption

2 questions

1) Who is the nestie who sometimes posts about her agency/facilitator having new "listings?" (I feel kind of odd using the word listings for babies, in fact that might be the wrong terminology and if it is I am really sorry feel free to correct me!) I thought I had that website saved but I don't. ?Does anyone know who that is or where I can ?get that information?

?

2) Regarding facilitators. I read this:?http://tinyurl.com/dlum89

?and this--where it called the adoption facilitator "The wolf among us!"?http://www.rainbowkids.com/ArticleDetails.aspx?id=510

I am just learning about all this stuff and the different options...but I just was interested in learning more about the facilitator option..and then I saw these and got kind of scared!

Thoughts?

Thanks! ?

Re: 2 questions

  • I *think* her name is karalee or something like that? I remember b/c of the pict of her daughter in her sig. So cute!
  • You're going to find those people who think that anyone facilitating an adoption of a child who isn't truly an orphan (read: no living family) are evil baby-stealing people out to kidnap, swindle, and just make a lot of money regardless of the welfare of the people involved.

    There are certainly agencies, facilitators, etc that fit that description. Just like there are some that aren't. As long as you do your due dilligence and follow your gut, you'll be ok.

    For example - our first agency want to charge us $5800 just to check a box selecting gender and ANOTHER $5800 to check a box selecting race - this on top of their stated fees of around $20k and many places listed in the contract as "not covered by fees." They also were more concerned in placing babies more quickly - talking about "records" and "bonuses" and it raised many many flags.

    Our current agency has the entire price schedule listed so you know exactly how much you're paying and to whom, and where there are fees the agency doesn't control (homestudies, for instance) they list a range of prices for that service.  We haven't gone to our first meeting with them, but from the website and the few conversations we've had, they're more interested in making sure that everyone is comfortable and happy with the match so that families grow in a healthy way.

    I have no experience with facilitators, but I feel that "don't be afraid to find someone less shady" is a good rule of thumb when you encounter something that just doesn't seem right.

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  • It's me:)

    I'll go ahead and just post a little info.  The previous posters are RIGHT - facilitators and referral services are VERY shady.  That's not what we do.  We do not have any interaction with expectant moms - facilitators find pregnant women who want to place and families who want to adopt and match them with no state licensing - very shady and unethical at times. 

     I work directly with a bunch of licensed agencies all over the country who are small and often do not have enough adoptive families on hand for harder to place situations.  Sadly, often they're just hard to place because they aren't full Caucasian.  We are a consulting group.  We work as advocates for adoptive families.  I walk my families step by step through the entire process and help them find low-risk situations with ethical agencies (obviously adoption is always a risk, but we try to minimize it by using agencies who will roll fees over in the event of a match falling through, etc.)  We find reputable home study agencies (if needed), create awesome, professional profiles, and help them submit themselves to multiple, ethical agencies all over the country.  We've created relationships with these agencies and they don't charge our couples fees up front - our clients pay nothing until match, which allows them to submit to other agencies, hence the quick match times.  Our average placement time right now for our families is 4-5 months because they aren't just sitting on one agency waiting list waiting to be shown.  Every single person who works with our group, too, is an adoptive parent, so we know what it's like.  I actually started working with CAC after using them to adopt Lily.  I've been there and it's such a part of my heart now that I love helping other couples adopt.  Sometimes the process is completely overwhelming, and for me, it was great just to feel like I had someone looking out for me as far as reputable agencies, shady situations, finding a good finalization lawyer, etc.  That's what I do for my families.

    I hope that helps a little bit.  I'm not a facilitator - I work as a consultant who helps tiny agencies without long waiting lists find adoptive couples, and I help adoptive couples through the process of adopting.  I'm happy to answer any more questions if you have them:)

    "Our children are not ours because they share our genes... they are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them. That, at the end of the day...or long sleepless night, is how love really works." Adoption Consultant Blog
    Personal Adoption Blog
    image
  • Thank you so much for the responses! And Karalee thank you for popping in (I was going through posts looking for Lily's adorable siggy!)?

    I had looked at your blogs before and what you were describing was almost exactly what I thought, but thank you for explaining it so I am really clear.

    Thank you again so much. ?

  • You are SO welcome:)  I'm glad to help!

    And thank you so much for saying such sweet things about Lily.  We sure do think so, but it's always nice to hear:)

    "Our children are not ours because they share our genes... they are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them. That, at the end of the day...or long sleepless night, is how love really works." Adoption Consultant Blog
    Personal Adoption Blog
    image
  • I bookmarked your blog, and the websites :)

    And I think Lily is such a cutie pie--I would call her a "Scoot" if I saw her. (Yes, I make up weird little names for adorable little ones :) ?

  • Okay, I LOVE Scoot:)  You could definitely call her that...it beats some of the crazy names we've come up with for her.  A day isn't complete if I don't call her "Pickle" at least once:)
    "Our children are not ours because they share our genes... they are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them. That, at the end of the day...or long sleepless night, is how love really works." Adoption Consultant Blog
    Personal Adoption Blog
    image
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