Clicky Poll: Will you Spank your child?

orion09

The Heated Debate: My family has always criticized me for saying that immediately spanking a child when they do something wrong is the wrong action to take. My mom always explained to me what I did wrong and made sure i understood the consequences of my actions first, and then the next time i did something she would punish me... but not always by spanking me... time out...no dessert/candy.... no play time outside....no tv....

I'm just a believer that if you hit your child every time they do something you don't like then you shouldn't be surprised when 

a)  they get conditioned to it and don't respond

b) you get a call from the school saying they are hitting on other children....

just my opinion... whats yours....[Poll]

manda_mullins

I agree with you!

?

I always WAS spanked and it didn't really teach me anything. I think it's better to explain what they did wrong, and take something away. A quick swat on the bottom isn't a lesson.

?

Plus, the way the world is becoming, I wouldn't be surprised to see parents arrested for abuse when spanking if done in public! ?

nuttybunch

We will likely spank our child if it works as punishment. Each child responds differently to different punishments. We're not against it but will ALSO make sure the child knows why they're being spanked. For example, if we tell them time and time again not to take a snack out while I'm making dinner and they do it repetedly, we will probably spank. If we haven't told them not to do that, we wouldn't use it as our first form of punishment, but it could come out in the end.

thenewmrsrussell

I'm glad to see I'm in the majority on the poll results..

hawindrem

I'm of the opinion that there are some situations that warrant it, but DH is totally against it, so I'm going to try to respect his very strong feelings in the matter.?

thenewmrsrussell

manda_mullins:

I agree with you!

 

I always WAS spanked and it didn't really teach me anything. I think it's better to explain what they did wrong, and take something away. A quick swat on the bottom isn't a lesson.

 

Plus, the way the world is becoming, I wouldn't be surprised to see parents arrested for abuse when spanking if done in public!  

 

I could count on one hand the times I was spanked.

The first thing that comes to mind is the time we were visiting my cousins and my sister and younger cousin dumped an entire 20 lb bag of kitty litter over an entire room throwing it in the air shouting it was pixie dust... while me and my other cousin jumped on one of the beds until it broke.

 

ChelleM

I think there are correct ways to spank.

The child should be old enough to understand.  You should never do it out of anger.  My parents would send me to my room to think about what I did.  In hindsight this was probably so they could calm down, but it also gave me time to anticipate the spanking which taught me a lesson for the next time I was told not to do something!!  I was rarely spanked and my parents always gave me multiple warnings before I was given a spanking.

I never had any issues with hitting other children.  I never feared being hit or beaten by my parents, and I never feared they would fly off the handle to hit me.  I did learn to listen to their warnings, however.  Make sense?

Pesky

Let me preface this by saying I was spanked as a child and turned out fine.  So was DH.  But I know I cannot spank.  I have terrible memories of it and it's not like I was beat or anything -- just swatted.  And I don't want DD to have those.  And I really worry about spanking her out of anger over something she has done or is doing and going overboard in terms of it being too hard or too many swats and know I need some calming time.  Plus my psychologist SIL and her psychologist BF both have said numerous studies show spanking is not as effective as other displinary means and really just teaches kids that hitting is okay. 

kelly bee

When I was little I was definitely a trouble maker. Well one time I cut up 3 $20 bills like 2 weeks before my birthday. My Mom didn't spank me-- she decided to take away my friends birthday party since that was the money she was going to use AND she took away dresses for 2 WHOLE WEEKS. I literally wore dresses everyday and I HATED pants. It was by far the worst punishment I ever got lol. I still remember it.?

emaria

i don't plan on it but maybe that's because i like to hear myself talk too much. ?i think i'd rather talk her to death until she's bored to tears. ?honestly though, i was never spanked and i always make a correlation between my actions and the consequences. ?but every child's different...

Cin8-14

I was spanked as a child and it did nothing but make me afraid of my father and resent him later. Simple behavior modification and conditioning and learning principles tell us that punishment like spanking does NOT work in the long run.  I am a psychologist now and have strong,  and hopefully evidence-based, opinions about spanking.

donnycornelius

I will spank my child when the circumstances warrant. 

My parents spanked me, but I can only remember being spanked on 2 occasions.   But, you had better believe I would shape up fast if my parents threatened a spanking.    It was the threat or idea of it (and the knowledge that my parents would follow through) that would keep me in line.   And I didn't become a violent person.   I've never been in a physical fight in my life.   

I think if a child is hit in anger, it may correlate to violence, but I don't see the connection when it's purely for punishment.   And it definitely shouldn't be forceful enough to cause an injury (e.g. belt, stick, etc).  

Now, I can't speak for every child, but some of the worst behaved children I've ever met have had non-spanking parents.   The parents would try to scold them, reason with them, try to put them on time out, try to take something away from them...and after 5 minutes of punishment (where the child would throw a temper tantrum), the kid would just get up and do the same thing over again.    I don't have enough exposure to young children to determine whether those parents are just bad at discipline across the board, but I remember thinking that those particular kids would have benefitted greatly from a more severe form of punishment. 

grja

I'm not against spanking, but i think i think its different for each child. My DS is almost 2 and has never once been spanked. Time outs and other forms of punishment seem to work well on him.

My DH's nephew however is out of control. He could use a good spanking or two to get the point across. At the same time though, its not his fault. I like to think of his parents as "parents of convenience". When they're alone with him, he's basically allowed to do whatever he wants, they don't really discipline him. But when we're around or my MIL or FIL is around, they try to punish him because they've gotten so much crap for him being a brat. So to me, thats not fair to the child. How is he supposed to know when and when not to get away with things.

Oh, and both me and my DH have spanked his nephew and my SIL knows we have. But i'm sorry, when i have to tell you over and over again NOT to do something and warn you with a timeout, and when i put you in timeout you spit in my face? Yeah, you get a spanking for that.

opallover

I think spanking is important when there is a life threatening problem - like your child setting the house on fire or running into the street [even though they've been told] and it's not because I think hitting a child is ok but if something dangerous is about to happen something needs to snap them out of their thought process.

2BMrs.Carter

I'm a teacher and I think most of the behavior problems at school are because parents do not discipline their kids at home.  There is only so much we can do here at school.  Some kids will even tell you that they aren't going to get into trouble and that their parents won't do anything.  Phone calls and e-mails don't seem to work.  I think it all depends on the child.  Some of the kids straighten up when they know you are about to inform their parents, others don't.  Whether you choose to spank or another method, all children need to understand that there are consequences for their actions.   

MissesJames

I completely agree with everything you said....

WaitingForMyMiracle

YES- I will spank my child when the offending behavior warrants it.

Just some examples I can think of off the top of my head:

Spitting/Biting/Pushing/Hitting someone else
Running away from me or DH (or caregiver)- this is especially important when in public or near a street!
Purposefully destroying property or causing a scene for attention

I could keep going... some kids just need the extra discipline. In a perfect world, my little Mason will be the most well behaved child and listen to everything Mommy tells him- but let's be realistic, people.

Mike&Care

I've only spanked my daughter twice. Once was because she ran into the road - very dangerous!! I can't remember what the other time was, but I think it is when she spit in my husbands face. That was pretty bad. We don't spank on a regular basis. I don't really agree with it for common behaviour problems. Dangerous behavior is different.