Best way to help a friend with a micro preemie?

jen5-03

My friend's baby was born late last week at 25 weeks. The baby is stable but of course will be in nicu for a long while. The mom was released from the hospital yesterday.

What were the most helpful things people did for you when your preemie was in the nicu?

RRHsMom

My mom brought us food a lot and that was great bc we could spend more time at the hospital with DS.  Others also gave us gift cards to get food and those were great too so we could pick it up on the way to the hospital.  I have heard of gas cards and that would be great as they will be driving a ton.  I got a few children's books while DS was in the nicu too and those were nice to read to him.  I also read a lot of magazines and even a book for myself since I just sat by DS all day long.  Those could be nice.  Lotion is also good because you have to sanitize a ton while your there and your hands get so dry.  As the baby gets closer to coming home you could offer to do things to help her get ready but I would wait to offer that until they are saying he is coming home.  You are a good friend!

KellyMichelle

When I couldn't drive I had a friend who would drive me to the hospital and that was really nice.  If you are looking for gift ideas - gift cards to restaurants near the hospital (we would go eat during shift change when we couldn't be in the NICU), hats or socks for the baby (that is the only thing they can wear at first).  Offering to help with pets, yardwork, etc.  Really even just calling to check on her and listening to her is the best thing though.  Offering love, support means so much at such a stressful time.  Also sending her the link to this board would be good.  Everyone here is so helpful.

buckeyethor

we had someone bring us dinner one night which was a nice change of pace from all the eating out we had done. also my mom cleaned our apartment and that really helped a lot.

elcamino_wife

Ditto the food! ?Either homemade or offer to bring it in and join them for dinner one night in the hosp.

Also, I thought it was really nice when people wanted to come visit DS once I got over the shock/stress of his early delivery. ?If you get micro preemie clothes, get ones that snap down the front and sleeves (for the IV).?

MandR

Gas cards really helped us out.  Also, it was nice just to have friends and family come and meet DS and spend time with us.  Just talking about something other than blood gas #s and vents and tubes and things was a nice break.

I'm not sure about other NICU's, but ours did not allow flowers or food in the room.

Denesdia

Ditto the above posts about help with food, gas expenses, and house stuff.  I also found it helpful when my core of girlfriends still offered to call and to talk about the rest of the world, and to try to give me outlets like going for coffee, or to do some little things that had nothing to do with the hospital.  After the initial shock and any medical emergencies kind of leveled off, it was nice to be reminded that I still had an identity outside of being that tragic woman with the tiny baby in the NICU.  I hope that makes sense. 

ruthiewith

I totally agree about the food. ?We stayed in the Ronald McDonald House near the hospital and volunteers cooked dinner every night for the residents. ?Not having to think about dinner or where to get food was the biggest relief! ??

mek10976

A co-worker of mine sent us pre-made meals from a company called HomeBistro.com.  Each meal came in plastic pouches that you put in boiling water.  They were really good and quick.  A life saver for us.

kblindgren

Suppers, Gift cards to restaurants, Gas Cards, a night in a hotel close to the NICU.  Anything that either gets  you close to your baby or helps you remember to eat - that was really hard for me when my boys were in the NICU.  I spent most of my days with them, so I'd completely forget to eat, then have to stop for something on my way home because I was starving!!

lemen99

offer to help with the daily things that get in the way of her spending time in the NICU:

she'll need help with getting groceries, doing laundry, cleaning, making meals, later on getting ready for baby to come home, etc. 

Also, offer to meet her for dinner at/by the hospital once in a while - it's a nice break to see friends, but still being able to spend time in the NICU!