XP: Update-Terrible news

Vet-Tech

Just got a call from the doctor.? None of the 4 embryos made it.? I feel sick.? We used proven donor eggs so there has to be something wrong with DH's sperm.? They tell me they wouldn't think that because everything is normal with the analysis but what else could it possibly be.? Unfortunately, we're done with TTC.? I never thought this would be the outcome.? I felt so hopeful & now I feel so helpless.? This truly sucks.

GymDogFran

I am so very sorry.  I know there isn't anything anyone can say to make it better, but I will be thinking of you.

indianasunshine

Oh NOOOOO! ?I wish there were words to convey how terribly sorry I am. You have been through so much, and I have always looked to you for strength. ?This breaks my heart, and yes, it truly sucks. ?Please know that you are un my thoughts and prayers.

leffe1

I am so sorry. Why does this have to be so hard! I will never understand. Please take care of youself.

cherylk

I am so sorry!  That is horrible:(  Is there any recourse because they didn't do the ICSI??  They should give you another cycle! 

Again, I'm so sorry and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

FrannyS

That is heartbreaking, I'm sorry to hear your news. 

cklju098uilo

I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could say to help you. Just know you are in my thoughts. Wishing you the strength.

princess_shelly

I am so sorry. ?This brought tears to my eyes, but I know my emotion is nothing compared to what you are feeling. ?Once again I am sorry.

QE2

I am so sorry. My heart sank as I read this.?

mrs.officeryum

Oh No!  I am so sorry. 

iluvtom

I wish I knew what to say, I am so sorry you are going through this. Maybe they can figure out why this happened?? (((HUGS)))

&&

Sorry to hear that.

futurebabymama

Tons of hugs to you. I am so sorry to hear that. You'll be in my thoughts.?

hollymichael

I am so very, very sorry.  It really does suck.

KarlsSweetie05

(((HUGS)))

I am so sorry. 

IF SUCKS!

As for a reason, maybe there was a problem with the lab and not your DH's sperm?  Its such an extremely delicate balance needed in the creation of embryos. Everything from the culture medium to the air concentration in the lab room has to be perfect.  The RE would never say "hey, we are at fault", but just tossing that out thought out there.   

I'm new here so I apologize that I don't know your story.  What was your prior experiences at this clinic like? 

marriedayooper

Oh my God! I can't believe this. I am SO SORRY!  I feel horrible for you - this really does suck.  I know nothing I say will help, but please know you are in my thoughts and prayers.  {{HUGS}}

sistrkate

I can't even imagine the horrible feeling you must have had upon hearing that news.  I feel sick just reading it.  I don't really know what else to say, but my heart goes out to you.

fiazo

I don't check in here quite as often anymore but was just thinking about you wondering how things have progressed. I was so dissapointed and am so so sorry for you. That is so totally devastating, especially being OOP, knowing you had one chance and losing all that money. It just pisses me off that insurance companies aren't covering us women who have problems.

Another thing that really bothers me is how these dr's are so fast in taking you on as a patient & right away want to do the procedures. Why can't they did deeper to try to get to the root of the problem. Did they know he was on meds?

My dr's do ISCI on almost everone. I had it done for both rounds of IVF & yeah that was another $5,000, but it worked the 2nd time around. I wonder if without it we would have been successful.

Just be careful how you approach the dr about it, if you are too accusing they may not want to cooperate. Hopefully they are sympathetic & can do something for you. I don't know if the practice youa re going to is large, but see if there are any studies you can participate in & if not yet, sign up-talk to the person in charge & plead your case. Sometimes they cover part of it, other times all.

I really wish for something good to come to you. You are in my thoughts & prayers.

Vet-Tech

KarlsSweetie05:

(((HUGS)))

I am so sorry. 

IF SUCKS!

As for a reason, maybe there was a problem with the lab and not your DH's sperm?  Its such an extremely delicate balance needed in the creation of embryos. Everything from the culture medium to the air concentration in the lab room has to be perfect.  The RE would never say "hey, we are at fault", but just tossing that out thought out there.   

I'm new here so I apologize that I don't know your story.  What was your prior experiences at this clinic like? 

The doctor made a point of saying "there are alot of other embryos growing normally in the lab".  This was our first cycle at the clinic.  We had used another but switched because they didn't offer any sort of financing options.  

Vet-Tech

fiazo:

I don't check in here quite as often anymore but was just thinking about you wondering how things have progressed. I was so dissapointed and am so so sorry for you. That is so totally devastating, especially being OOP, knowing you had one chance and losing all that money. It just pisses me off that insurance companies aren't covering us women who have problems.

Another thing that really bothers me is how these dr's are so fast in taking you on as a patient & right away want to do the procedures. Why can't they did deeper to try to get to the root of the problem. Did they know he was on meds?

My dr's do ISCI on almost everone. I had it done for both rounds of IVF & yeah that was another $5,000, but it worked the 2nd time around. I wonder if without it we would have been successful.

Just be careful how you approach the dr about it, if you are too accusing they may not want to cooperate. Hopefully they are sympathetic & can do something for you. I don't know if the practice youa re going to is large, but see if there are any studies you can participate in & if not yet, sign up-talk to the person in charge & plead your case. Sometimes they cover part of it, other times all.

I really wish for something good to come to you. You are in my thoughts & prayers.

I was really in too much shock to say much yesterday.  She said they were going to discuss the case on Monday.  I'm hoping she will call me afterwards.  I would love if they offered something towards another cycle but I'm not hodling my breath.   I had to send them a requisition form so that I could have the fragmentation test run on DH's sperm.  If she doesn't sign it, I'll ask my family doctor to.  Either way, I'm interested in the results.  If they come back showing there's a problem, I'm sure the doctor will try to debunk the results.  But truthfully with the background & what's happened with both cycles, it would be hard to make a case against it being wrong.

NewMrs07

I'm so, so very sorry  There's nothing anyone can say to make it better. I hope you and your DH somehow find a way to make peace with this. Just remember we're all thinking of you...

SunMoon&Stars

Oh God, I'm so sorry {{{{hugs}}}}

LuvBeingHis4eva

That does really suck and I'm sorry. But why give up? Are the doctors telling you to give up? I have heard a lot of success stories when you try again....I know you don't want to hear that right now...but hang in there....

Dudes617

I'm so so sorry to hear this.  It sucks when nobody can give you any answers.

 

Vet-Tech

LuvBeingHis4eva:

That does really suck and I'm sorry. But why give up? Are the doctors telling you to give up? I have heard a lot of success stories when you try again....I know you don't want to hear that right now...but hang in there....

I would love to try again.  I would do another donor cycle & also use donor sperm since it seems like DH is also a contributor to our IF but we don't have another 20k just laying around.  How I wish we did.

DH is going tomorrow to an interview, actually it's just a formality cause he already has the job it's just the salary discussion & all now.  But the company is based out of Ohio, which is a state which requires fertility coverage to be offered.  I am praying the company is large enough for that so that will be the case.  I would be ecstatic.

lablori

I'm so sorry to hear that!  I'll be thinking of you and your husband and praying for you both.

ToshaGirl

Hi there,

I will admit to not quite knowing what the words are to send you comfort. However.... I did just want to say  - sincerely - ...... I am thinking positive thoughts VERY HARD for you and hope it is not truly the end of your journey. Truly, truly.

Very good thoughts and hope for the future all being sent your way.

 CMD