Frustrated with DH re: working out

UGAbride

I am 3 months post-partum, and more than ready to really get my butt in gear with working out.  I do like to walk, but it's really difficult to do consistently especially this time of year (it has rained for WEEKS on end here, it's windy/cold, and the baby will start crying halfway down the street). 

I would really like to join the gym now that DS #2 is 3 months old and can go in the nursery, but DH keeps putting me off because of the cost - understandably, he is nervous about finances b/c of the economy and we are on a tight budget.  But please do not talk about how 2 of my good friends look like "they never had a baby" when their husbands make sure they have time to go to the gym!  One of them has a 7 month old (her second) and the other had her 1st baby 3 days after DS #2 was born....so it really made me feel crappy - and yes, they both look wonderful! 

But I just feel trapped, DS #2 hasn't been good with a bottle, so any time I leave the house I almost always return to DH standing by the door with a screaming baby. I just feel like he isn't being supportive enough of me finding time to pump and getting the bottle situation fixed, or helping me find a way to join the gym (we can definitely tweak the budget to find the $50 a month), and it just makes me sad to hear those comments about other friends that already have their body back because they've been able to work out   We have a treadmill, so I finally told DH we were moving it into our room so I can use it in front of the tv, even though I know he hates it in there.  TOUGH.  Ugh, but when I jumped on the other night after the boys were in bed and the baby woke up, he came in our room and stood by the treadmill with him!!  WTF?!  When he wakes up 10 minutes after going down, I just rock him back to sleep, no boob involved...so why can't DH give me 45 minutes on the treadmill in peace and rock his baby to sleep?? 

Sorry so long, I feel a little better for venting.

 

august0605bride

That is SOOOOOO annoying.

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MH was like that with Jack in the beginning, too. ?I think BFing is a great excuse for them to not have to deal w/ infants, you know? ?

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My gym is the best thing ever for my body and my sanity-- you should call around because I bet a lot of them are having new year specials. ?Its also cheaper to join for more than one year, if you think you're going to be in the same place that long.

When J was a teeny baby, I would sometimes drop them off in the playroom and take a sauna and a shower-- then I'd put my make up on and get dressed w.o the kids. ?In terms of wellbeing, this was just as valuable as a workout

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Maybe talk to him over a bottle of wine??

katie277s

I am sorry this is so frustrating for you.  I think you are making a pretty good compromise of using your treadmill at home instead of going to the gym.  Can you tell him that when you are working out, he is responsible for the boys?  I can't imagine that 45 minutes of baby sitting (after they have gone to sleep) is too much to ask. 

wellfleet04

That is annoying, especially the comments about your friends!  Can you put DS#2 in the bouncy seat and run during the day even if he's awake?  I hope so, since this is my plan once our #2 gets here in April.  I'd talk to him, and then I'd have a plan for how to afford the gym (e.g. I will cut back on clothes for the kids, my fun money, whatever!) and then just DO IT.  A happy, healthy mom is ESSENTIAL for happy, healthy kids, and your DH needs to understand that.

DandelionMom

If DH even thought about comparing my body to my friends' bodies I'd kick him in the nuts. ?

Can you put the treadmill in a room with a lock so you can lock them all out? ??

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UGAbride

Well in his defense, he's not comparing our bodies, he's actually really good on the whole about not commenting on other girls (even celebrities) being hot or whatever.  But it just hurt my feelings that he went so far as to notice how awesome they look when I just don't have the time.  He's just never said anything about *me*...and why should he, I need to lose 20 lbs!! 

And he is really great about doing everything for DS #1 when he's home, but he gives up so easily with the baby - nursing makes it a 100x's worse.  UGH.  I have to remind myself that soon enough DS #2 will be a toddler and DH will think he's just as fun as our oldest.

You're right, I need to be willing to give up my fun money for the gym, so I guess now all that's left is fitting it into my daily schedule...no small feat, right