August 2023 Moms
lmn823
member
Weekly Check-in 4/3
lmn823
member
EDD/Weeks + days:
Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green:
Baby is the size of a(n):
Upcoming appointments:
How are you feeling?
Raves/Rants:
Questions:
GTKY: if you can do one thing in one day, unlimited funds and a babysitter, what would you do?
Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green:
Baby is the size of a(n):
Upcoming appointments:
How are you feeling?
Raves/Rants:
Questions:
GTKY: if you can do one thing in one day, unlimited funds and a babysitter, what would you do?
Re: Weekly Check-in 4/3
Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: blue
Baby is the size of a(n): baby is about 5/6 days bigger than the coconut size he supposedly is now. But we aren’t changing the EDD.
Upcoming appointments: next prenatal and glucose screening in early May when I’m 26 weeks. It’ll be a gap between appointments, but I’ve been off the regular schedule and they want me to get back on it.
How are you feeling? Mostly fine, easily out of breath and tired at work. Trying to do as much of my job as possible while sitting
Raves/Rants: no
Questions: Did I ask about camping already? My DS preschool does an annual group camp out, early September. He’s been talking about it since last fall. I think I blocked out how rough postpartum recovery was last time. I’m trying to decide if I’ll be up for it or if SO should take him and baby and I stay home.
GTKY: if you can do one thing in one day, unlimited funds and a babysitter, what would you do? Only one day? Probably head over to the coast and divide my time between being on the beach and shopping in all the quirky little shops and eating food
Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: Blue
Baby is the size of a(n): Mango
Upcoming appointments: I’m not even sure when my next appointment is.
How are you feeling? I’m tired. I hit a wall every afternoon around 3. So I have to lay down and close my eyes for a few minutes.
Raves/Rants: I’m enjoying the sunshine we are getting. I just wish the temps would go ahead and get high enough to melt most of the snow. That’s really all I’ve got right now.
Questions:
GTKY: if you can do one thing in one day, unlimited funds and a babysitter, what would you do? I would hike the glacier we have that in pretty difficult to get to. You can take a kayak out to it or you can take the trail out to it but it’s a long distance out. Plus, the current on the lake makes it very difficult to get back when you kayak.
@emeraldcity603 hiking a glacier sounds pretty cool. I wanted to do that last time we were in NZ but we just didn’t have the time.
Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: blue
Baby is the size of a(n): banana
Upcoming appointments: anatomy scan on Wednesday
How are you feeling? Ick. Still can’t manage without Diclectin. Also, I’m always so exhausted at the end of the day but as soon as my head hits the pillow I’m wide awake and takes ages to fall asleep.
Raves/Rants: our dishwasher crapped out this weekend and the new one won’t arrive for another two weeks. It’s only been two days and I am already sick of hand washing dishes, which I realize sounds very spoiled but my kids use every single plate, bowl, cup they can find. I think I’ll have to hide everything except one for each of them.
Questions: natm
GTKY: if you can do one thing in one day, unlimited funds and a babysitter, what would you do? Hmm, fly down to New York and see a Hamilton matinee on broadway, wander the met and then eat at some amazing restaurant. Or charter a helicopter out to sable island and see all those wild ponies.
Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: finding out Thursday! 🤞🏼
Baby is the size of a(n): no idea. Whatever 20 weeks is in fruit or veggie…is it banana? 🍌
Upcoming appointments: anatomy scan Thursday! Regular ob appointment next Monday
How are you feeling? Really tired the last few days but I’ve been really active and busy as well. So not bad. I’m having round ligament pain on and off. It’s better if I’m more active or get moving a bit.
Raves/Rants: I guess I have a rant. I took last week off because my oldest had spring break. I also wanted to work on cleaning the house. My office manager also decided to take the week off so I had no management in the office all week. She assured me she would log in and check on staff but maybe only did it once or twice. I ended up having to work every day for a few hours to keep things on track and then had to go in on Friday because my staff couldn’t figure out how to put a desk together for my new hire. Needless to say I was pissed! I’ve never been able to take time off in the last four years without logging in while on my “vacation” and finally hired management and enough admin, so I could take vacations and it’s annoying that it’s no different than before. I’m not sure how leave will go and I’ll probably end up working still.
Questions: none
GTKY: if you can do one thing in one day, unlimited funds and a babysitter, what would you do? I would go to some fancy spa, some place warm and do all the things. I would then take my husband to a nice dinner, maybe on a beach somewhere and then hang out by the water.
Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: blue
Baby is the size of a(n): banana but based on ultrasound, baby is measuring big and is in the 69th percentile for weight😅
Upcoming appointments: midwife appointment on Thursday
How are you feeling? Good mostly! I have pubic bone pain which has been annoying but mostly I’ve had a bit more energy and I’ve been nesting like crazy.
Raves/Rants: we have something going on every weekend in April and I’m tired just thinking of it. Also DS has been a pill lately. I’m so tired of spending all day repeating myself 10x just to get him to do something.
Questions: anyone know anything about a slightly below normal head circumference to femur length ratio? The midwife didn’t note any concerns in the notes in my portal and they didn’t call either, but the radiologist report was attached and I read it and it said the ratio was slightly lower than average. All google talks about is femur length being in the 5th percentile and increased chance of genetic abnormalities but the femur length isn’t that short. Since the midwife hasn’t said anything I probably shouldn’t worry but I am a little bit and will ask about it Thursday.
GTKY: if you can do one thing in one day, unlimited funds and a babysitter, what would you do? Buy a nice big ranch!!
Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: blue 💙
Baby is the size of a(n): mango
Upcoming appointments: anatomy scan on Friday!!
How are you feeling? Feeling good! Baby is moving and grooving in there and I am so happy I can finally feel him move more consistently.
Raves/Rants: we are looking into getting a large tree next to the house relive any I’m nervous for the price. It is still flowering but losing branches consistently and seems to be dried out when it does. A big branch fell in the last windstorm and narrowly missed the neighbor’s house. He mentioned yesterday that if we wanted to get rid of the tree, they would be willing the split the cost which I thought was incredibly generous (we have awesome neighbors on all sides - we’re a corner house in a rural neighborhood). So I’m calling today to get a quote.
Questions: anyone else already getting pressure on their pubic bone from baby? This seems early in pregnancy but ooof.
GTKY: if you can do one thing in one day, unlimited funds and a babysitter, what would you do?
Day trip to NYC to catch a Broadway show and dinner! Hopefully my babysitter is up for an overnight 😂
Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: Girl
Baby is the size of a(n): mango
Upcoming appointments: Had one yesterday
How are you feeling? headachey, irritable, and very large
Raves/Rants: Had a very short OB appt yesterday - met a new doc in the practice. I felt that the appointment was a little rushed, but she did take some time to educate me about weight gain (have gained 25 lbs so far). I had the same pattern with my last baby, no GDM, and normal birth weight - but she says I shouldn't count on being as lucky this time around. So here I am trying to eat better and get some more movement in
Questions: I guess the only question for myself is - how did I make it through last time? I'm so grateful to be pregnant but cannot wait for August to get this baby out.
GTKY: if you can do one thing in one day, unlimited funds and a babysitter, what would you do? Assuming we also had the day off of work in this dream, I would whisk hubby to mexico to walk the beaches and eat at a restaurant we loved last time we were there.
Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: green
Baby is the size of a(n): grapefruit but two weeks ago was the weight of it. I think the baby is heavier
Upcoming appointments: today I have my second anatomy scan! Can’t wait to see baby. They won’t allow us to record or take photos but SO snuck it last time too 🙄 I’m sure he’ll do the same
How are you feeling? Still have my daily congestion, hungrier, heavier! I have energy which is nice but I’m out of breath quicker. Last night I would say was the worst, I peed 3x and my Fitbit clocked me in at 1hr 32nd s awake tossing and turning lol and the belly hurts trying to flip side to side.
Raves/Rants: rants-insurance is a B. I keep getting billed for all these visits and I spent 2 hours on the phone yesterday and spoke to 5 different people. I’m currently on Medicaid due to my job loss and it should’ve been covered. They figured it out but I’m still receiving the emails for $$ due.
And SO keeps telling me “don’t worry everything will be ok and work out”. I finally told him that I hate HATE when he says that. It kills me. I don’t want to hear that at all. I told him I know it’ll work out because I am the one who has to deal with this and not him. I’m the one on the phone for two hours and not him. I’m the one who’s growing a baby in my body and not him. I told him how about you say things like how can I help? What can I do to help you? Instead of saying “don’t worry everything will be ok” blah blah!! I think he got the picture because the next day he was at work at texted me what can he do to help. Lol I gave him a list of house chores.
Questions: is an anatomy scan standard for pregnancy? My MIL was so confused why we’re getting an anatomy scan. She’s a nurse and never heard of that, and then she had told me she asked her nurse friends and they just told her because I’m high-risk and she said that’s stupid that I am high-risk bc I’m healthy lol. Her friends said it’s bc I’m 37 and ftm and she’s so old school she said she thought high risk is over 40.
GTKY: if you can do one thing in one day, unlimited funds and a babysitter, what would you do? I would want to be on a tropical beach getting a massage hearing the waves and then having a beautiful dinner with a seafood tower lol and a California king size bed to lay in afterwards bc a queen bed and my pregnancy pillow isn’t big enough
Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: Team blue
Baby is the size of a(n): banana
Upcoming appointments: Everything has changed now. We went to pediatric cardiology this morning and it was devastating. I’ll go to MFM on Thursday and back to cardiology on April 18. I’m officially high risk and we are praying baby keeps growing.
How are you feeling? I’m devastated. There are three structural things wrong with his heart, but they don’t add up to a single easily recognizable condition. The doctor explained in detail the various structural issues and what they might do to help them. Our cardiologist is going to consult with colleagues and specialists both here and at other pediatric heart programs. But, our best case scenario, the one we are praying for is this: that this baby stays with me until 40 weeks, survives birth, and undergoes the first of a few heart repair surgeries during his first few days of life. The next would be after a couple months, and then a third when he’s around 4 or 5. If this is our path, he would live a normal life and you’d never know about his heart condition. Another option is that it becomes clear his heart is too damaged to repair and they put him on a transplant list. I suppose the last option is he doesn’t make it to birth and we lose him. My life is changing before my eyes and all I can do is wait and hope and pray. I should also mention that I’ve learned this is the sort of thing people TFMR for. For us this is not an option, and yet we are surrounded by very pro-choice people who I can’t help but thing will wonder why we “chose” to stay on this journey. I’m sorry if this offends anyone. Maybe I’m just still grappling with it. I don’t want my son to suffer, but I believe he deserves to be born and to have me hold him and try to give him the life he deserves even if it’s hard.
Raves/Rants: I’m so grateful for the care at this children’s hospital. If this had happened with my first pregnancy we would’ve been all alone half way across the country and 90 minutes from the children’s hospital. Here, we’re at a nationally ranked program that’s 10 minutes from our home. And so I’m raving about our decision to move back east.
Questions: Does anyone here know anyone who has gone through a congenital heart defect diagnosis with their baby? The internet is filled with stories but I need to keep my anxiety in check. What I want to do is talk to families and moms who’ve been where I am but not scour the depths of the internet making myself upset.
GTKY: if you can do one thing in one day, unlimited funds and a babysitter, what would you do? This is tough! Its hard to think of fun things right now. I’d like to drive to this restaurant that’s about 45 minutes away that’s supposed to be amazing and go on a date with my husband. It sounds pretty doable I guess haha
@emeraldcity603 hope everyone at home is healing up ok!
@pickle-chips Hope you feel better soon!
@novelblessings That stinks- you deserve a break!
@justyouraveragemama hopefully it doesn't mean much, I know u/s aren't always totally reliable with these smaller measurements.
@lmn823 good for you for being more clear with you H. I'm surprised your MIL is a nurse and didn't know 20w anatomy u/s is standard of care!
@ccmrc143 So, so sorry that you are going through this. I hope that those around you surprise you with their lack of judginess. Pro choice means you respect the ability to choose. Your choice is to continue with the pregnancy! Praying that all goes well and baby thrives.
For whatever it's worth, my husband's cousin was diagnosed with a heart defect in utero, although I don't remember exactly how damaged her heart was. As she grew and was born, it became clear it wasn't as damaged as previously thought, and although her parents were cautioned A LOT about her heart rate getting too high in her first few years, she wound up not needing surgery until she was 7 or 8. She just turned 10 last week and you'd never know anything had ever been wrong -- she's an awesome kid who runs and plays and loves science and cooking and art and learning, and is one of the most curious and empathetic children I've ever met. (So when I hear about parents who do terminate, I think of her and how awful it would be to have had her parents choose that route and miss out on having her in our world.) I know not every case is like hers, so don't want to offer false hope, but when you say there are a few different scenarios that could play out, that very much is the case and the worst option isn't necessarily a foregone conclusion. I'll continue to pray for a good outcome for you, while believing that you love the Lord and so all things will work together for your good.
Im sure you will learn way more medical terms/skills than you ever wanted to know… but I’m SO thankful with you that you are close to such a fantastic hospital! Praying for clarity and answers in the upcoming days/weeks, for growth for baby, and for people in your life to be supportive. I’d ask one of the hospital social workers if there’s a cardiac anomaly support group you can join at your hospital if that’s something you’re interested in!
@ccmrc143 I’m so sorry you are going through this. I got judgment when I chose to deliver my baby when I had my second trimester loss. I was just far enough along I needed to do it in the hospital. The nursing staff had no clue what to do with me. One nurse managed to say some pretty insensitive things to me. It made the entire experience worse than it had to be. I’m adding you and your precious baby to my prayer list and I will be praying for the best possible outcome for y’all. Two of my boys have heart defects but nothing severe. I was told that with this congenital defect that many structures within the heart can be affected. So far it’s just been one of the valves for both our sons.
Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: Team green
Baby is the size of a(n): Chinchilla
Upcoming appointments: Tomorrow, 4/6 with MFM. We need to get the pics they couldn't get the first go around with wiggles.
How are you feeling? Pretty good. Definitely feel larger. Lugging my daughter up and down the steps is becoming an aerobic accomplishment.
Raves/Rants: We hustled to show our house last week as kind of a favor to this couple who wanted on our street. We don't have a place to go, but they're very insistent on our neighborhood. I was out of town for work the prior week, so when I got back we cleaned and organized for two days straight. They didn't end up wanting the house. Which is totally fine, but it was because of something that they knew ahead of time (wanted an additional bathroom). I feel like I would be less irritated if they were like, it just wasn't for us after seeing it in person, or something.
Questions:
GTKY: if you can do one thing in one day, unlimited funds and a babysitter, what would you do? I lean towards a private jet, but I don't know where I could go and get back in one day. Maybe at least to the coast quickly so that we could have a beach day with lots of fresh food and massages.
EDD/Weeks + days: 22+3
Team Finding Out/Pink/Blue/Green: blue
Baby is the size of a(n): coconut
Upcoming appointments: OB next week
How are you feeling? Headaches. Lots of headaches.
Raves/Rants: I didn’t understand gender disappointment before now. I know I should just be happy everything is going fine so far. And it’s our first, we plan on having two, and I always wanted one of each, but I’ve felt so disconnected from this pregnancy. It’s only the past few weeks I’ve felt excited about being a mom. Not that I was dreading it or anything, I just didn’t feel much of anything. Mild stress about money etc but the baby was nothing more than a checklist of things I needed to do before I was due. Anyway I just started picturing a little girl when I felt “her” move and that helped. Everyone had told me they thought I was having a girl so that’s what I pictured. I had a little girl name. I imagined leaving the hospital with bows and then having a five year old little girl run around the farm. And now I’m back to feeling disconnected. I’ve done all the things to try and bond, it’s why I’m on this app, to try and make myself feel more normal about being pregnant. Aren’t I supposed to be happy, on cloud nine talking about how “I just love him so much already, can’t wait to meet you ❤️“ but I don’t. I don’t love him, I don’t know him yet, how am I supposed to love him already? I at least loved the idea of this little girl. My therapist figures it’s my way of coping with being pregnant while working my job (NICU). It’s hard to think of the 22 week old babies I’m trying to save while having a 22 week baby inside me, so I just don’t. My husband enjoyed seeing baby move around and suck his thumb during our anatomy scan, I watched for a four chambered heart, dysmorphic facial features, and grilled our poor tech about structures and measurements. Sorry for the long rant/trauma dump. I don’t feel like I have a safe space to vent about this stuff IRL because I think people will think I’m an awful mom, which is fair, I kinda think I’m a awful mom too
Questions:
GTKY: if you can do one thing in one day, unlimited funds and a babysitter, what would you do? Buy a beautiful house somewhere on a remote tropical beach where I could go and ignore the world. That or repeat what we did for our wedding day, hike to the top of a mountain and drink champagne watching the sunrise, then have the best brunch after hiking down and go back to the beautiful hotel we stayed at and have a romantic dinner by the alpine lake.
I was lucky that I wanted girls and I've gotten girls, but had that not been the case I have no doubt I'd be disappointed. It doesn't make you a bad mom, and it doesn't mean you won't love your son less than you would have if he was a daughter. It means your expectations weren't what played out, just like if you ordered a cheeseburger and got the most delicious steak in the world -- it's amazing but it's not the burger you expected. It's ok to be like "um, not quite?" and be sad, disappointed, annoyed, whatever. Eventually you'll take a bite anyway and discover it's awesome and realize it's actually what you needed, but in the moment, dammit, you wanted a burger. Why would anyone fault you for that? Grieve what you wanted. Just don't drown in the grief. Easier said than done, I know, so for the moment keep your checklist, finish tasks and celebrate those, and maybe focus on the things that you *can* enjoy with this little guy -- seeing his relationship with your husband, teaching him to pee on a cheerio or something, BABY FEDORAS, teaching him how to treat women, cooking with him... Oddly enough the thing that first broke through my depression was a gift from my husband's aunt (one of my favorite in-laws) -- a pack of baby socks with burgers and pizza on them, with a cookbook called Little Foodie that has a ton of interesting puree combos and recipes for kids up through the first two years, all with suggested wine/cocktail pairings for the parents. I have no idea what it was about that book and socks that gave me my first glimmer of actual excitement, but now it's what I gift new moms in case it has the same magic effect for them, and every time my daughter and I cook something from it (because it still has some of my regular rotation recipes in it -- her meatballs are AMAZING and her muffin recipes are on point) I smile and remember how that first sparkle of hope actually felt. And I hope you feel some of those sparkles again soon. They'll come.
@ccmrc143 thank you! I love my job, though it has made pregnancy difficult. I have a wonderful therapist and she helps a lot but the cognitive dissonance definitely is a coping mechanism. I’m hoping it will get better into the third trimester, but holding him at arms length feels like if God forbid we did end up in the NICU, I’d be able to make hard decisions more easily. I tried talking to my husband about this the second we got pregnant, what interventions would we do under what circumstances and have everything laid out and to him he feels it’s absurd because it probably won’t happen, but to me I needed the plan now so I wouldn’t have to make difficult choices when I’m emotionally involved. The upside is if we do end up in the NICU I know our team and I know they would look after him so it would be less scary because it would just be like going to work without having to do so much work.